As my mind began to heal…nothing will stand in my way to make choices

“As my mind began to heal and my thoughts became more lucid it became apparent that something inside of me is changing. Depression, when you begin  to examine the various symptoms up close, and deal with them, the experience becomes less threatening. Some say that depression is a collection of behaviors that are brought into play to defend us against things that are too painful to face. Also, depression results when a love object is lost through death or that one feels abandoned. We have become so at one with our lost love, that we mourn the death of part of us. The love object and ourselves has become one. I believe we use the word co-dependent   today.

At first I was frightened by my various symptoms of depression.  The symptoms proved to be baffling. I was not able to get out of bed as well as being unable to concentrate or manage a complex thought. I began to worry that I was losing my mind and I often asked myself if I was going to survive.   But now my ability to handle situations  in a meaningful way is due to my frequent attendance  at meetings, and by making a daily time for prayer and meditation and a feeling that my life has purpose and meaning. The more I am physically  active, that is.,  going to meetings even when I don’t feel like it. Working in my Depressed Anonymous Workbook, reading my 12 step literature. This behavior is where my freedom begins. And yes, I do feel lousy a times but I also know that nothing can stand in my way to make choices in my own behalf. Previous to my involvement with the group I had no idea that my depression was not so powerful as to  prevent  me from  even thinking that I could choose to feel differently. ”

SOURCE: (Copyright)  I’ll do it when  I feel better. (2016) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.  #11 PROMISE:  Intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. Pages 50-51.

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