“I really couldn’t care at one time if I lived or died.”

   Bill has two degrees  behind his name and he still got depressed.

Depressed Anonymous is a spiritual journey, which makes you go back into your past, find the rubbish there, and let it go.  Without the Depressed Anonymous group or a group like it, I don’t think I could function in a world as I know it.  I thank God for the people who have the courage to come to the group. They will grow and learn. There is no easy way out. You don’t change overnight. You have just got to keep working at it. I have been in the trenches with nowhere to go. I find this very common in humans. Change is very tough for us. We would rather bear so much pain before we are willing to change. This black hole is a terrible thing. I wish no one would ever feel it. It is a painful and nasty.

This is my short  story. I was down and I was out. Really I couldn’t care at one time if I lived or died. Now I do. It really didn’t matter.  I met a great woman and decided to get married. I couldn’t have done it without Depressed Anonymous. It’s a wonderful experience. I’m learning how to take care of myself. I met a lot of new friends at Depressed Anonymous. It takes time to change. You got to be willing to take time to change. It might not work for everyone. But without Depressed Anonymous, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

For more of Bill’s story and other personal stories please go to the Personal Stories section in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition pages 110-152.

 

SOURCES:  Copyright(c)   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, Depressed Anonymous Publications (2011) Louisville KY. pgs. 150-152.

Copyright(c)    I’ll do it when I feel better. Depressed Anonymous Publications (2017) Louisville. KY.

Today is decision time! You can do something for yourself today

 

“Made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the God of our understanding. ” Step Three of Depressed Anonymous.

“Every decision that we make alters the world of meaning which we have created. Deciding to eat Puffed Wheat instead of Corn Flakes for breakfast may not be a major change, but abandoning ‘I am bad  and  unacceptable ‘ and replacing it with ‘I accept and value myself’ is.  Every decision you have made since you decided that you were bad and valueless was based on that decision.  Now, all these conclusions need reviewing and changing.”  Higher thoughts for down days. August 3rd. pg.155.  And D.  D. Rowe’s  BREAKING THE BONDS.

“In Step Three we have to make a decision. We don’t have to feel holy or extra nice but that we only have to make a decision – that is hard for someone who is depressed but it can be done. There is an old saying which goes like this: “Have a nice day unless you made other plans. ”

I want to really begin to turn things over to the God of my understanding. In Depressed Anonymous we call this God our Higher Power.

AS Bill W., (Co-founder of AA) tells us

“We realize we know only a little.  God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.  Ask Him in your morning meditations what you can do each day for that person who  is still depressed.  The answers will come, if your own house is in order. (See Step Four).

But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the great fact for us.”

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

PS.  WHAT PLANS HAVE YOU MADE FOR TODAY?

“I wanna be free and live a life free from fear and anxiety!

Came to believe that  a power greater than  ourselves can restore us to sanity.”

Now that I’m beginning to make an effort that this higher power is really on my side the more my faith and belief will help me overcome my fear of failure that  my depression ever coming to an end.

My fears, anxieties and other obstacles to my serenity will gradually disappear the more I learn that there is somebody up there that love me and wants me to be free from that gnawing emptiness   that continually plagues me  day after day. I am beginning to see that the more I attend meetings and read   my  Depressed Anonymous Big Book, and do my daily meditations the more peace and hope I will have. I truly believe that  life will  get better for me.  My sanity and my health will increase like a seed watered, nurtured and which receives a lot of sunlight.

 

We aren’t alone anymore. In fact, we are strengthened by the bonds of fellowship and friendship in the group and not burdened by the fear that we will again soon slump back  into our depression.” The Depressed Anonymous Workbook/Step 2-Page 13.


Excerpts from  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.

“This new belief in a Higher Power is not the creation of any organized religion but instead is the Power that creates the universe. Our surrender and trust in it frees it to work its way in our life. That is a paradox of the 12 Steps – the more we depend on the Higher Power instead of our addictions,  the freer we in reality become.”

For the depressed person,  giving up old ways of thinking and acting is much like giving up any other addiction – at first letting go of the old behavior makes you feel  uncomfortable.  The  old behavior  wants  to  cling  to  our spirit  like swamp  mud hangs onto knee-high boots. Before your participation  in Depressed Anonymous you would go home from work, get by yourself and ruminate on how bad you felt. This new behavior will help you think differently about yourself. You will find that this higher power, or God as you understand him, is not the same God that you might have met when you were young. When you were a child you came to believe that God is watching you, ready  to punish you if you are not perfect. Now you can  begin to develop an adult and new way of being related  to God as you understand God.  With time, persistence and patience you will gradually trust your life to this Higher Power. ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville. Page 43.

SOURCE: HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Please see Depressed Anonymous  literature  for more information.  You are able to order your own Kit online from www.depressedanon.com.

Symptoms of inner peace

Be on the alert for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now,  been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

 

          Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

An unmistakable  ability to enjoy each moment.

A loss of interest in judging other people.

A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

A lost interest in conflict.

A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)

Frequent, overwhelming  episodes of appreciation.

Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

Frequent attacks of smiling.

An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

An increased susceptibility  to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

—Anonymous

Waiting for the great Mother

…it is not until we have lost everything that had cocooned  us from the world (which is very different from what we want it to be) and when we have our back to the wall at the bottom of the pit, that we can confront the stark truth of our life  and our death…and crying in anguish and anger because the magical parent does not come. Instead at the bottom of the pit, we take charge of our lives. ”

Again I am reminded that I am  responsible for my life and the way  I live my life. So often I wanted someone to come  and tell me that everything would be fine and all that I need to do was for them to tell me that everything would be fine. All I needed to do was wait and then everything would be better for me.  This isn’t true. It is only today when I admit that I have become powerless over my depression that I can begin to allow the light into my life. I realize that I can begin the work of reconstruction  in my life today.

Fear of our own death can keep us frightened so that we can’t move beyond it. My rigid and absolute beliefs about life and death both have me imprisoned me. Life is terrible and death is worse. Since I have moved beyond my rigid ways of looking at myself, I am beginning to feel more relaxed as I look at the world in a more real fashion.

MEDITATION

We know that the God of our understanding is ever present waiting and willing to help us with times life these.  The God of our lives will not break down the doors of our resistance to its love , but instead, waits patiently for us to open the door from the inside.”

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SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.  (Thought for today October 3rd. Pages 199-200.)

VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE HELPFUL SOLUTIONS FOR GETTING OUT OF THE PIT!

Personal empowerment step by step

It is with a personal sense of awe that I see the empowerment  that comes to those persons working the 12 Step program of Depressed Anonymous. The empowerment comes to those who  are conscious of the various ways they will have to change if their lives are to grow and  change.  This is of course not without its risks.

One of the major obstacles that we have to face when we are depressed is to be willing to change the way that we think about ourselves, our world, and our future. We have to dwell on and experience our pleasant as well as the unpleasant feelings in the present. We have to be willing to  face the discomfort of living life with a sense of unpredictability. This is not an easy task.  It is a task that can be achieved with time, patience and work.

Empowerment comes from being informed and making choices that help us change our lives for the better. When I come to a Depresseed Anonymous meeting I am making the first major step –namely, admitting  by my presence at the group meeting that my life is out of control. My compulsion to depress myself is  at the root of my inability to take the challenge of living life with  risk, hope and  enthusiasm. But how can I say that I want to depress myself?   We are NOT BLAMING ourselves but are taking resposnsibility  for our own feelings, behavior and thinking. Now that I am conscious of some negative patterns of my own thinking and behavior,  I can get on  with learning new strategies for my own healing. With the heartfelt prayer of a monk, I now understand that it is by sharing the story of my life –and with the conviction that someone is there to listen to me, that this can in  time  deliver me out of my prison of fear and sadness.

I can be empowered by taking the bull by the horn and choosing each new day, one day at a time, where I can  start   feeling  different.  I now have the support of the group –support from people who have walked where I am walking.

I am investing in myself. I am  making my recovery my highest priority.  I may have been on all the antidepressant medications and  I may have seen all the best counselors and psychiatrists and doctors, but now I am coming to a group of depressed persons, men and women–people who will understand me, not judge me,  but will support me. I investing in myself and my future. What will I find there? I will find some of the most caring people on  the face of the earth. Some of the group members will have been coming for months, and week after week,  know that they are gradually feeling different and having more good days than bad.  And it’s getting better for them.  The more meetings they attend the better they feel and the more support they receive from the fellowship.  They are feeling empowered. It’s the miracle of the group. Instead of living with a compulsion to repeat old negative and life negating thinking, we now have a compulsion to live with hope. We  now  have  a desire for a brand new way of thinking. We want to change the way we live — not just the way that we talk to ourselves.

We  are seeking out a new way to live.

I now feel that I am getting better in learning how NOT to repeat my old way of thinking and bashing myself mentally with bad feelings. I am learning how dangerous it is for me to isolate and separate myself from others.    I now know that healing all takes time and with work and patience I will get better.  For most of us, it has taken a few years to get here (depressed) so why not take  time today — focusing  one day at a timeempowering ourselves, and finding the hope and serenity that others like me are living out today in   own lives. Will you join us?

SOURCES:   Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Copyright(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

THE  HOME STUDY KIT, A COMBINATION OF BOTH DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, PLUS THE DEPRESSED ANONMYMOUS WORKBOOK CAN BE PURCHASED TOGETHER. PLEASE CLICK ONTO VISIT THE STORE AND ORDER ONLINE.

I can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

“I believe that by working the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous, the more my Higher Power can release in me the serenity that I seek.  While not giving up hope – I can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.”  The FOURTEENTH WAY out of the prison of depression.

The following is an excerpt from Believing is  seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2015) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

 

“As long as I have a belief that somehow, someway, I will begin to feel differently and I can believe that Depressed Anonymous was developed to bring the ‘sufferer’s  of depression together. By this gathering of like-minded folks, it resulted in individuals being empowered to find a support which slowly leads them out of the hole.  I have always believed in the power and the uinfluence of the group — either serving as a power for good or a power designed for destructive ends. But as for our group Depressed Anonynmous, I know that it truly builds, enhances and strengthens anyone who gets involved with it on a regular and consistent basis.  Those who do interact with our fellowship eventually come out of the pit of their depression and start feeling hopeful about their lives.  They are feeling hope instead of despair. This is actually happening all the time as those involved in the fellowship begin to see personal changes occurring in their lives.”   Pages 65-66.

How do people change?

People change by facing themselves and discovering a process, a step by step process, where we begin to be aware of why we are the way we are. In THE  DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS WORKBOOK, a companion volume to DEPRESSED ANONMYMOUS,  3rd edition, (HOME STUDY PROGRAM)  we  will  find  answers on how to change.

We learn that depression distorted us from the truths of life, namely, that life is to be lived with hope and serenity. Nursing along a good habit can in time wean us from old and debilitating  habits of thought and behavior. We want to daily fill our day with the gratitude that we are indeed getting better and that the trust we have is indeed placed in the Higher Power.

In order for us to escape depression we need to begin to be aware of the process of how people change. That process is of a nature a spiral instead of a straight line. In other words, now we are willing to risk feeling differently and we have been gearing up to improve our situation. In other words we are making a very important decision right now about our lives.

 

  1. AWARENESS STAGE: We become conscious that we can’t go on feeling the way we do. Something has to give.
  2. MOTIVATING STAGE: I am going to prepare  myself for needed changes in my thinking, acting and feeling.
  3. DOING STAGE:   I am going to take charge and be responsible for positive changed that have to be made by me if I am to feel differently.
  4. MAINTAINING STAGE: I will continue to seek out and sustain my recovery with people, concepts and my personal working of the 12 Step program for recovery.

Now apply these  four stages which serve as antidotes to our character defects (ideas and habits which continue to make us feel sad). These defects of character cause us to stay imprisoned in our prison of depression.

In the days to follow we will examine  THE FOLLOWING THREE  issues which confront the daily lives of most of us when we are depressed.

(1) BLAMING ourselves and/or others for our problems.

(2) BEING A VICTIM.

(3) ANXIETY AND INNER JITTERINESS.

For those of you who desire a more complete approach to finding what depression is, what it does to our self esteem and ways to overcome our isolation and sadness, persons  depressed  have utilized the HOME STUDY PROGRAM.

THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS WORBOOK, with its question and answer format,  provides a pathway leading  to the road to serenity and community. You find that others just like yourself started where you are starting and found answers to why we have become depressed in the first place.  By the time you have worked out answers to all the questions posed by the author in the WORKBOOK you may discover your best self. And, isn’t that what we all are looking for?

With the WORKBOOK, there is the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS Big Book, 3rd edition., which is coordinated with each Step in the WORKBOOK and provides a recovery process which will complement one’s own progress in working the program

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SOURCES:  (c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE, which lists all literature from DAP.,  and order online if you wish, the HOME STUDY PROGRAM.

Always trying to “please others” diminished me!

“I’d rather be imperfect and happy than always trying to be perfect.”  The THIRTEENTH WAY to leave the prison of depression.

The following two  excerpts quoted below  are from   Believing is seeing:15 ways to leave the prison of depression.(2015). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

 

”  One of the areas in my life where I strive to excel is in the area of trying to be perfect.  Somewhere in our early development as children we got the message that if we were perfect we could be more acceptable to others. I gradually began to believe the more I  tried to please other’s that this would bring me happiness. Instead all it brought me was a loss of myself.  The loss of self reduced me to a shallow self without direction  or meaning.” Page 63.

”   Eventually, my depression became a sort of a comfort as it kept me from having to risk an unpredictable life. In other words, this way of living took away all hope. This is what keeps many of us depressed. We hold onto the mistaken belief that since bad things happened to us in the past, bad things will continue to happen to us in  the future.” Page 64.

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SOURCE: Copyright (c) Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2015) Depressed Anonymous Publications Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE for more information on other publications offered to the depressed by Depressed Anonymous Publications.

“Just get on base!”

These few words are ones that all base ball players hear when they go to bat. “Just get on base.” If a team is to win the game they must get on base. They have to be able to score at home plate and rack up points needed to win the game.

In our world, we know that to recover from any problem, disaster or misfortune, we have to get back on our feet and get to work. The longer we wait to get the help we need the longer will we suffer with whatever ails us. In my own life, I know that this to be true. When I started to slide slowly down that slippery slope of sadness, I could feel, in an analogous way, my feet slipping out from under me. I was losing control. It was when I finally lost all control and could no longer get up the energy to do anything-except force myself to go to work- that I got on base. If I was to win this battle then I had to do something. It was when I admitted to myself that I was losing  it that I did something to help myself.

Because of my involvement in another 12 Step program of recovery I now knew that I had to admit that I was in trouble, physically, emotionally and every other  way. So, with the urgency that my situation demanded,  I got on base and started to walk miles every  day  I had to shake off this inner hollowness and jitteriness  that had my whole existence in its teeth. By remembering the 1st Step of the program, that “We admitted   that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable.” Yes, my life was more than just unmanageable-I was  totally frozen in place. I could only think about me-what was happening to me? It was a brand new experience and totally foreign to me.   I always was “in control”   and now I was totally “out of control.” Something else was running my life. I felt like the proverbial prisoner locked down in the small confining cell of my despair.

To cut to the chase here, I finally got back to a feeling of lightness in my spirit, after having  walked miles for weeks. By admitting that I couldn’t go on the way I was, I made the  choice to do something.- get on  base (work the Steps of the program of recovery). With the help of my belief in a  Higher Power, God as I understand God, I finally got moving and got better. It was slow process of recovery but it worked.

I want everyone to know who is reading this now and feeling alone that there is hope for you too. It does take time and it takes work-there  are no magic wands waved over our head and presto! we are back on the playing field of life again. No, it takes time, work and a day by day, Step by Step  program of taking care of ourselves coupled with the belief that I too can get better. With that attitude you will not only get on base but you can win the game.

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NOTE: If you would like to start your own program of recovery  having a roadmap out of your own prison of depression it would do you well to read the  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition Manual and the Depressed Anonymous  Workbook. These two excellent sources of self help are published by Depressed Anonymous  Publications and titled the HOME STUDY KIT.

To learn more about the helpful publications offered please VISIT THE STORE at this website, DEPRESSEDANON.COM.  You will be glad that you did.