“I now have a new way of living!
“But with OUR new way of living and thinking we are going to stay in the now. We know tomorrow produces anxiety and fear. Yesterday is there with all the past hurts and anger. All I have is the now! If I live in the now I can begin to try to stay out of yesterday with all its old wounds and hurts and resist living in tomorrow with its unknown problems. Negative thoughts about our past or those about tomorrow can numb our feelings so that we don’t have to feel the pain of whatever it is that isolates us from the world around us. We also admit, like any one person addicted to a person, thing, place, chemical or drug, that our lives are out of control. We have to admit, that by depressing ourselves, we have chosen saddening ourselves as our drug of choice. We medicate ourselves with sadness any time we might have to change the way we live our lives. Sometimes, our depression or sadness arises out of guilt as we continue to turn our personal mistakes into giant catastrophes – this continues to make us feel as if we are nothing and valueless. This all adds to our frustration and the feeling of our being out of control. We know that if we just give up our struggle against depression and admit our powerlessness over it, we can begin to surrender it to our Higher Power and practice letting go of it. I can decide that I want to feel happy and put this constant sadness and hollowness behind me once and for all. I know that no longer will I have to retreat or flee from those sad feelings and escape with sleep, over activity or drugs. I know that, whenever my sadness seems unending, I then just admit that I am not helpless and that I can do something about it because I have the tools and I can learn the skills that I didn’t know were available to me before. Now I am deciding to think, act and behave differently, much to my personal credit and a new-found trust in the Higher Power. I am a sailor who sees the land, knows the right direction and does the rowing to get where I want to go. The Twelve Steps are my compass. I also know that this group of people which we call Depressed Anonymous will help me assume a sense of no longer feeling out of control.”
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd ed., Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Pages 34-35.