How it was before recovery and the way it is now. Please read on.
“I had always know that I was hard on myself. I reamed myself every time something bad happened. “Why can’t I find someone to love me? ” “Why isn’t God looking after me? ” But for some reason, when I realized that I was doing this to myself, it made me realize that maybe all I would have to do is stop doing it. All of a sudden it made sense.
If I tell myself negative thoughts, I feel negative. If I tell myself nothing, I feel nothing. So if I tell myself positive thoughts, eventually I’ll have to feel positive.
Of course, I’m still testing it out, but I feel better and for the first time in 14 years, I have hope. It’s not that hard to find something positive about myself or my life now. So I remind myself of something positive every day of my life everyday and that’s what keeps me going and that is what I am going to do until I don’t have to remind myself anymore because I’ll know.
I’m slowly finding out that my life is not as horrible as I’ve made it out to be. I used to tell myself that since it happened before, it will happen again — and that simply is not true. Yes, my past was horrible and its no wonder I ended up with depression. I want out of it and the only person to get me out is me. There is not a magic wand to transport you to the life you want. Everyone knows what they wish their life could be – so do it! Make the changes you have to make, trust in God and always remember that good things come to those who wait. I’ve waited over half my life. I don’t have to be a victim of my past or of my mind any more. I’m more than ready fore the good things! With love and hope!
-A Depressed Anonymous member
SOURCE: Copyright(c) : Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Kentucky. Pages 120-121. #9 A victim in my own mind.