Anger is a much talked about subject these days. People are anger at this politician or that politician, They are angry at how they are mistreated on their job. Or they are angry at the government for whatever reason. They are angry at their spouse, or ( choose one) who have done them wrong. Yes, I am angry and I don’t like it. I don’t like it most times, but sometimes I think, wow, that felt good getting it out of my system. It’s better than punching a hole in the wall again, or picking up a gun and shooting someone. I believe that so many of us are angry. We are angry and we think that giving someone the “what for” is going to change them. But then we see that our anger is pouring gasoline on a fire.
Let’s take a look at the Depressed Anonymous book, which says a lot about anger and what our own anger says about ourselves. Is there a solution here. Yes.
” Many times we hear how depression is anger turned inward. This is one way to explain it. Depression is also a way to keep from assuming our rightful place in the world and society. You must tell others that your very fear of the future and of others is the very thing that builds your prison. You need to surrender the fears and hurts in your life. You need to give them up to the Higher Power or to God as you understand God. It is with this in mind that you begin to gain more insights and honesty in your life. Others in the DA group will also help you see that you can blame the other people in your life for your problems all you want, but it is only when you no longer see yourself as victim that you can stand up and say that you no longer choose to stay depressed. “I am going to enjoy life and hope for good things to begin to happen to me”, you can say. I think sometimes we can say we liked being called a “depressive” as it made us feel as though we couldn’t help being the way we were and, of course, we know this isn’t true. Once we admit our victim stance and no longer consider ourselves as permanent sufferers of depression, then this honesty, can release a new sense of identity for ourselves. The support of the group will allow me to say that I don’t have to be what I was anymore. I don’t need it.
The fifth immutable belief that builds hopelessness in us is the belief that it is wrong to get angry. We have learned from childhood that not only do little girls not show anger, but little boys likewise were made to believe that any type of outward expressions of one’s unpleasant feelings was not permissible. We believed that we had no right to be angry. To be always smiling and happy means you are good; to experience and express the emotion of anger is a sign that you are out of control, and being out of control is bad. But if anything can cause us to be depressed it is a lifetime of swallowing our anger. This might have its roots in our childhood when we were abused, physically, emotionally or even sexually by a parent, relative or guardian. The mere thought of this might throw us into a deep sense of personal worthlessness and rage — until we were able to get in touch with it. Sometimes this rage is so powerful that we have to numb ourselves so as not to feel the power of it and so be afraid that it will destroy our very selves.”—–More about ANGER in tomorrows BLOG.
RESOURCES:
(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY (See Step Five chapter in DA book, Pages 59-64). ).
(C) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002 Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY (Step Four Pages 22-47 contains some excellent ideas on anger which can help us look at our anger and deal with it.)
+Both of these excellent books can be ordered online (depressedanom.com) at the DAP Bookstore.