I have hope that I can accept myself today and just let fly by all the old messages from old tapes of childhood.
“You desperately wanted people to love you, but you became very wary of giving your love to others. You reasoned that the less you loved another person the less it would hurt when the inevitable rejection came.” (3 )
I have been holed up for so long in my own little world of feeling hurt and rejection that to attempt to love someone else seems like the greatest challenge of my life. I desire so badly to be loved by someone else that this lack of another’s love makes my isolation from others so hurtful.
After having witnessed the miracle of the group in Depressed Anonymous, where depressed people come with their feelings of hurt and being rejected, I find that other’s love and nurture challenge me to hope once again. I can share with the group the fact that I haven’t measured up, that I am angry and that I just want to lay down and die.
I am open enough now to let the light of love from others, who like myself, realize that I am not alone and that I am beginning to feel better already now that I no longer need to be perfect. This means to be willing to affiliate and give of myself for someone else’s good. In the program I am starting to love –myself.
We are going to make a mental decision right now to let God, as we understand him, guide us and instruct us on how best to love ourselves. ”
Source: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. (1993,1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky. (p.47).
Please Visit the Store for more information about literature specifically geared to the subject of depression and the utilization of the 12 Steps for recovery.
For a further clarification of thought, do yourself a favor and read the Depressed Anonymous manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook.