“I just wanted to be left alone.”

“I had good friends at work – I am well educated – two degrees behind my name.  I wasn’t fulfilled. My world was falling apart. I left counseling after things went  better.  I had a major loss about two and a half years ago. I lost a job and then another job. I purchased a home. I lost my job and I lost my girl. Bills were too much.  I wanted to be left alone. The burden was too unreal.  Stress and anxiety were beating up on me. I didn’t want to get up in the morning. I just wanted to be left alone to be isolated and bored.  It was tough. I was nasty and mean.”

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Comment

How many of us have felt the way Bill felt? I bet most of us have felt this way. I have. But when you read the next part of Bill’s story tomorrow,  you’ll find out what he had to do to feel differently. And as you might suspect–he did find a way to feel better.

I remember  how it was when I was depressed. Getting out of bed was the biggest accomplishment of my day.  I had to force myself — I couldn’t afford to lose my job.

In time I discovered a way out. My recovery took time, work and support. I had the full support of my fellowship group, Depressed Anonymous. And now, 30 years later I still have the fellowship and all the necessary supports that I need to stay out of the prison of depression. If you are looking for an “easier and more comfortable way”  out of the quicksand of your depression–I hope you can find it. Most of us know it is not that easy. It’s a total body pain. It is analogous to having a tooth ache all over. A pain that won’t let up. For some, it turns into a life-threatening situation and ultimately the taking of one’s own life.

If there is  anything that I am most grateful for today it is the fact that I have found a powerful  program  with its 12 Steps and spiritual principles of complete recovery.  Our program comes with a complete set of “tools” provided for each and every one’s use. I have found, as does Bill now, that these “tools” are at my disposal every day of my life. By trying to live each day at a time, I have found my life is lived in the now. My life no longer is lived in the yesterdays or the future tomorrows.

NOTE

Put some sanity in your living today and read Bill’s whole account in DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (See Personal Stories).

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