My Mother had died in 1983 and I fell into a severe depression. I felt overwhelmed and suicidal.
I never actually attempted suicide because the alcohol came into my life. It dulled my senses and made me oblivious. Alcohol also at the same time gave me this feeling of empowerment and happiness, but at the same time. – resentment because I knew what was bothering me and didn’t quite want to address the issue.
It wasn’t until 1993 that I joined Alcoholics Anonymous and got into therapy, which has been amazingly helpful. I’m growing and dealing with the death of my mother and with alcohol. My hobbies, like gardening and my writing give me great joy and are therapeutic. I’ve been working The Twelve Steps with an open mind that every day things will get better. If problem does occur, the Higher Power will give me the answer and the strength to deal with it and not to run away or shut it away like before.
Depression is something that’s so overwhelming. For me, it’s like crawling from beneath the earth and facing the light with fear that no ne would understand how I truly feel. When in depression, isolation would follow as my only friend, but actually, it was my own worst enemy. I should have been opening up to someone. Instead, I shut myself off from the world.
Through therapy, a belief in myself, and encouragement, facing each day doesn’t seem difficult.
Working my Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous and reading Higher Thoughts for Down Days gives me reassurance that we are not alone. I now appreciate what I do have when I work through the program.
Through prayer and appreciation, I realize that there’s more to life than alcohol and that I kissed a chunk of my life away because of it.
Now I’m gaining much more through life than ever before. Being sober, I see my life as a gift and not as a heavy burden.” Rheatha
Click on to Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more literature dealing with depression and the Twelve Step Program of Recovery.
Depressed Anonymous,3rd ed., Depressed Anonymous Publications. (Personal Stories). Pages 110-152.
Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications