It’s time to Bloom!

It’s definitely Spring.  Here in Kentucky, USA,  everything is suddenly turning green. The tulips, the daffodils, jonquils and the trees are all budding.

Spring can only start in my mind and today I want to be a beautiful flower. I will visualize myself growing tall and bright and filled with God’s most beautiful colors. Go out and smell the roses. Don’t get stuck in the prison of your grey  colored depression.

“One of the reasons I am depressed is because I have made this an absolute belief of mine, namely., “Since bad things happened to me in the past and only bad things will happen to me in the future.” Dorothy Rowe

 

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Now that I am working on myself and admitting that I have work to do, beginning  some house cleaning on myself, I am beginning to hope and see a light at  the end of the tunnel. I also believe that I will begin to feel better the more I attend my Depressed Anonymous meetings and /or work my Home Study Program of Depressed Anonymous. I also will be attentive to how other people in the 12 Step program are  working out their healing, one day, one hour at a time..

The future is now. The future is where I live right now. The future now is the yesterday tomorrow. I am making my future now.

I no longer believe that only bad things will happen to me in the future, because now I hear how people who once were ready to give up on life now speak of how they have found a hope in the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous and are getting better, one day at as time.

MEDITATION

God, please help us live up to our belief that each day we will get better as we live only in today and not in the fears and anxious moments of a tomorrow that may never come.”

Personal comments please.

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SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for members of Twelve Step Fellowships. (1993, 1999). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. March 21. Page 58.

To thine own self first be true. Honesty is the best policy.

“If I were asked what in my opinion was the most important factor in being successful in the program besides following the Twelve Steps, I would say  honesty. And the most important person to be honest with is yourself…(Bill W., cofounder of AA )

And now back to our Depressed Anonymous Workbook where we continue to clarify our  thinking about the individual Steps and our relationship to them,. We are presently focusing on Step Eleven. (See: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville)

   Step  Eleven  states “Sought  through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry it out.”

The following are some questions that you may like to ask yourselves as you continue walking on the path to freedom. In question 12. 9  We are asked  an answer for the following question:  How  has your honesty with yourself made your life more free and more fulfilled with hopeWrite down the areas of your life where you feel your honesty has paid the richest dividends? How has honesty made your life less needful of pleasing others so that  they will like you more?

  Your response here.

12.10 How does our own honesty help us carry the message to others still hurting?

Your response here.

WORKING IT OUT

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Our feelings expressed and positively received by the group allow us then to focus on the way we think about ourselves, and make it possible for us to parent ourselves instead of  continually seeking out the lost unavailable parent in the guise of multiple sexual relationships, alcohol, gambling, and any of the many other compulsions that are used  to fill the void in our lives.

Practicing  the  program enables  us to be used by the Higher Power to do the most good that we can and which our Higher Power wants us to do.”

In the Depressed Anonymous Workbook(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville., in the section relating to Step number 11, (Page 80) read the following statement  and respond with your own answers to questions about what you are doing now that you were not doing before you came into the Depressed Anonymous group?

“I can’t do anything to remove my compulsive behavior until I choose to “live without it.” It is truly living in the will and mind of God that will help us, one day at a time to stop being so compulsive in our rigid and automated thinking about people and things so that we do not let our dated emotions and thoughts predict what the outcome of our perceptions ought to be.” (See Page 95 in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

For best results in working out a gradual release from the darkness of the depression is to use the WORKBOOK and 3rd edition of DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS together. We call this the HOME STUDY KIT. Please VISIT THE STORE here at our website (www.depressedanon.com)  for more information about the  literature that is now available.

“We find ourselves enervated and weakened…” But hope is Promised!

Promise # 3 of 13  continued: “We do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.”   The following is a continuation from the previous statement concerning Promise # 3.

“When we suppress a negative emotion and refuse to deal with it, either consciously or unconsciously, it becomes one of those blocks that form  the walls of our personal prison. These unexpressed emotions can fester and boil over so that our energy level is dissipated, scattered. We find ourselves enervated and weakened. We discover that with the internal war raging inside of us we can hardly find the energy to get to work and roll ourselves out of bed a morning.  We no longer have the freeing feeling of spontaneity in our lives.

We discover that our ability to make ourselves do something is now beyond our personal strength and power. We have become helpless.

We also discover that we are powerless. Our will power has no control  over this depression.

But how do we know that this particular Promise will come true for me?  What we can rely on is our own experiences.  Our experiences tell us that the more we live in the solution of the Promises of Depressed Anonymous the more serenity and peace will be ours. We have discovered that it is when we begin to live in the solution and not focus on our problems that will lead us past the fear of what might happen to the serenity of the present moment.  We no longer wait  with trepidation for the other shoe to drop. Our freedom begins when we start to reflect consciously on what is happening now at this very moment. I have noticed that it is when I become conscious about what I am feeling now is the direct result of my  thinking which enable me to make  the conscious decisions to bring myself back to the present.”

SOURCES: (c)  I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 35-36.

(c)  Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville

 VISIT THE STORE for more literature dealing with the Steps and Depression..

I am choosing to live in the security of my hope rather than in the fear of life’s possible pain.

“…Haven’t our sadness and thoughts of unworthiness been our last refuge from having to face ourselves, take charge and accept responsibility for our own lives? For many, just knowing that they might have a choice and be able to choose to feel differently can be a startling revelation. I can choose to be happy or I can choose to stay feeling miserable.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Life is one that provides me with many areas of choice. I can choose to live with the uncertainty of  hope or I can stay mired in the despair of having to always have everything predictable.  The latter is the hell of my depression.

MEDITATION

We choose to place our trust in you, our God, and to believe that all we can ever have is to be provided with your love and protection in our daily struggles to free ourselves from this continued depression.

SOURCE:   Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

1)  I walk down the street..

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost…I am hopeless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever for me to find a way out.

2) I walk down the  same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend that I don’t see it.

I fall in  again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But  it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I saw it there.

I still fall in.. it’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault. I get out immediately.

4) I walk down  the same street

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

Copyright(c)  Portia Nelson 1981.

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COMMENT

Definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Tapering off of booze, smoking, overeating etc., negative thinking, suicidal thinking, I hoped  it would finally  help me end my strong attachment/addiction to any one of  these life threatening behaviors. Wrong. I kept  going down the same street and falling  in the same hole. The Twelve Steps is what gave me the courage to go around the hole and begin to  travel down a different road. The road I followed and still follow after 30 years is the great fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. You can read the stories of those who started walking down that  “other street” —  that broad highway of recovery that we call Depressed Anonymous.

Read their personal stories in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Overcome our need to be compulsive about everything…

Affirmation

I will be fearless as I take my personal inventory and uncover those thoughts that I sad myself with on an ongoing basis.

“The most common symptoms of emotional insecurity are worry, anger, self-pity, and depression. These stem from causes which sometimes seem to be within us, and at other times to come from without. To take inventory in this respect we ought to consider carefully all personal relationships which bring continuous or recurring trouble.”

Clarification of thought

I am seeing how my attitudes of worry, anger, self-pity and depression can keep me imprisoned. Working with my program has been and is part and parcel of my every waking minute.  The Steps that I put so much faith in are the road signs that keep me on this shining path which I call God’s will for me. I am reminded of not sticking my nose always into other people’s business so that my serenity is lost.

I am mindful that this program is mine for the used.  I believe that this program deals with the way we respond to our attachments and compulsions.  The Second  and the Third Step help me realize that there is a God larger than me. Once I am in his will, I can move on and be changed for the better. It is a simple reality to realize that to work on my program is to let God work through me.

Depression sometimes is a symptom of something inside me that I have lost. It is a sadness over something gone out of my life.  This loss could be the reality of never being good enough, never doing enough or being les than perfect. The symptoms disappear when I can learn to live with the belief that I will find hope and begin to feel better.

Meditation

God will help us today to overcome our need to be compulsive about everything negative that we say to ourselves. God will help us say Stop to all those compulsive and self-defeating thoughts.”

Sources:

Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 168.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

             Hope to hope. Depressed Anonymous Publications. (2000) Louisville.

Hope is a universal language.

The misery of depression is so powerful that it not only disables our thinking capabilities but likewise disables our desire to move or even to get out of bed in the morning. Now who in the world are you going to tell this craziness to? Family and friends don’t remember you breaking any bones. They know that you aren’t running a fever. You look fine to most people. And if you still have a job, everyone at your place of employment likes you, though you do  seem a little more reticent than usual. And because people will think you are losing your mind if you tell them how horrible  you feel inside, you continue to keep quiet and keep your “happy face” on.  Of course this makes you feel worse. So what do you do? Who do you tell? And what would you tell someone, even if they did want to listen? There is a solution for the way you are feeling but it is not the one most usually heard from people who have never experienced depression. You know what I mean as they repeat the old magical curative  of “snap out of it.”

Here is what I did these many years ago, like 30 years ago. I went to a 12 step meeting and found a map. This map was developed by people just like you and me and its  directions were clear. There were 12 Steps and as I walked carefully with the steps showing me the way, I finally found my way out. It was only because I was honest about the fact that I was hurting really bad,   and that I couldn’t depend on my will power alone to shut off this dreadful pain inside of me. I now was willing to do  anything to help myself get free of the deadly clutches of what had me and wasn’t  going to let go. I finally found that spark of hope inside of me thanks to the  recovery program of Depressed Anonymous. That spark ignited within me freedom. Freedom from fear, fatigue, and the hopelessness that all of us have experienced as we continue to live out our lives in silent isolation and self hate.

I now have hope and the great “tools” provided  for my recovery through the Twelve Step program of Depressed Anonymous,if you too want what we have, I recommend that you read the true stories of people like yourself who have tried our program and found freedom.

See Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. You can find this work plus many others at Visit the Store on our site  www.depressedanon.com.

The secret of life is that there is no secret. Sartre

This morning, before the rising of the sun, I was up and asking God to bless me for this next 24 hour period of my life. All I had left from yesterday was my memories of it. And the memories were good. My family and assorted friends came together for my wife’s brother’s birthday party. It was a lot of fun and lots of old memories from earlier times surfaced. From the youngest, a five year old grandchild to a 94 year old aunt. Anyway, I thanked God for family and friends. Today, I have memories of that time yesterday. But I live here now, in the space of these next few hours left in this day.

I have learned that yesterday is gone forever and tomorrow is not here yet. How true that is. Just try and live today.One day at a time. If I have a worry today about something coming up  tomorrow, I just keep informing myself, that I will have to  worry about that later. Later never comes. That’s the beauty of this strategy… later is interpreted as “push it off ” till another time in the day. It’s really a matter of making a choice at this point–worry or try and let it go. So,right now, I am going to enjoy the sun rising  over the horizon. I am also trying  to be mindful of what is right in front of me. Mindfulness is a very important habit to carry with us these  24 hours.  Be mindful of what is happening around us. Be mindful of the person with whom  you may be having a conversation. In other words, be present with your whole person to the person who is with you. When I look out now, with the sun beginning to cast its warm crimson glow in the East, I think God that I have shelter, food on the table, and a family that I love and care about. Morning is a gratitude time for me as I think about my ministry with the beautiful aged persons in a nursing home, the people  I may be able to  visit in the hospital today.

I also thank God for my sobriety, my spiritual recovery program of Depressed Anonymous, and the fact that I am mindful of  trying to be  honest with myself and others, that I am open about who I am. I  am willing to share with others how it is that I have the tools now  to stay out of the prison of depression. I love to tell the story of how it was when I was depressed and now how it is that I am part of a fellowship that uses a daily program of healing and serenity. (See Depressed Anonymous, 3rd ed., DAP. Louisville). You can also go to our site menu and find important and helpful literature there for your life.

Can you think about and write out all the areas of your life for which you are thankful? Try it. And then tonight before going to bed, reflect on how you still have hope that life can get better. I have found that living life one day at a time—with gratitude —  makes it a whole lot better!

A Power greater than ourselves!

Affirmation

I am conscious today that there exists a power who wants me to be free of my need to sad myself.

” Maybe there  are as many definitions of spiritual awakening as there are people who have had them.  But certainly each genuine one has something in common with all the others.  And these things which they have in common are not too hard to understand. When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he now has become able to feel and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resource alone. He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being.  He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered,. What  he has received is a free gift , and yet usually, at least in some small part, he has made himself ready to receive it,.”

Clarification of thought

I have learned that people who believe in some power greater than themselves and surrender to it that these same people begin to find hope and start feeling better.

I no longer just have to endure like a passive victim but instead can get active in my own recovery and start  to feel hopeful about my day and my life. I don’t have to feel this way anymore.

Meditation

It is only by our prayer, meditation and self reflection that we will gradually be free of our despair and begin to hope. Our lives have been permanently changed by our understanding that we will get well today, bit by bit. ”

SOURCES: Copyright(c)Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 164. August 15.

Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.