Looking fear in the face!

AFFIRMATION

I am no longer alone in my suffering depression. I believe that by getting more active in my recovery that my life will begin to brighten up.

“We of AA and Depressed Anonymous find that our basic antidote for fear is a spiritual awakening.” Bill W.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I know after becoming actively involved with the 12 step program, that one of the best ways to overcome the handicap  of depression is to start by working on my faith – a faith that I will and can get better. I know that it is mainly staring my sadness in the face that I will be clear of it. I also know that my depression which has been part of my life for so long can be dismantled if I so choose. Surprised? So often  I hear others stories say that they have been depressed all their lives–until- let me repeat – until they hear others stories as to how with work, time and belief in a power greater than themselves that they did and are feeling better now. I need to trust that once I have made my conscious decision to turn my life and will over to the care of God as I understand him, that my life will indeed begin to change.

We know that fear is truly a poison in some ways and in others it is a gift. We need to fear only that which will keep us locked in the prison of depression. Sometimes our fears are of what tomorrow might bring or it might be the fears of the past. One of the better antidotes to fear is trying to live, just for today, Today is all I have.,

MEDITATION

God, we believe that there is no greater power than you . We have already admitted that our depression has made us feel hopeless. Now we are ready to let you get to work on our lives,  take over and lead us where we know we will be   in a safe healing place.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous  Publications. Louisville. Pages 95-96.

I am certain that our life doesn’t always have to remain the same.

I am willing to live in the uncertain moment and focus on the now, not yesterday’s  now or tomorrow’s now.

“So  if we are to make changes in our lives we must be courageous. Such courage can be found relatively easily in two kinds of situations. When we are certain that the new situation in which we shall find ourselves will bring us every advantage and happiness.

  1. When we are certain that the situation we are leaving is totally and absolutely  bad.

2. Thus, if the new situation promises perfection, or if the old situation is totally imperfect, we have  certainty, and, if there is one thing you crave when you are depressed, it is certainty.”

Copyright(c) Breaking the Bonds –Dorothy Rowe

“The only certainty that I have today is that if I want to free myself from  the attachment that I have to sadness, I must be willing to risk giving up the certainty that my life will always remain the same. I know that it is only by living with some uncertainty, that my life can be lived with any hope.”    Copyright (c)  Higher Thoughts for Down Days.

My own experience with depression plus the  fear that my depression pain would always be with me, had me totally imprisoned.  In  fact, it was this fear which got me motivated to change – to do anything that could  release me from its deadly clutches. I didn’t have a clue  why I wanted to sleep all the time, sudden loss of memory, unable to concentrate, thinking hopeless thoughts, always wanting to sleep and a rapid weight loss. I felt that I had fallen into some deep and dark pit.

I was no longer my “happy go lucky self.” Always positive and upbeat.  Always feeling confident. And then, the fog began to settle in on my life. My mind was like it was made out of cotton. Also, like many people who suffer the same as myself, the symptoms are all pretty much the same, and with different intensities.  And for some, the painful and hopeless feelings of depression can be a real life threatening situation.  That is why I write this BLOG, to give others hope that they too don’t have to go it alone. We, the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous are here to help. You are not alone!

In time, all I wanted to do after a days work, was to come home and go to bed. I was beginning to feel more and more isolated as my world  became uninteresting and without appeal. All the pleasant things and activities which in the past had energized me,  had all  lost their power to lift my spirits. I felt paralyzed. And worthless.

In a short period  of time, I grew frightened as to what my life was becoming as I grew more and more isolated. Since I didn’t know what I had I didn’t really know what to do.

I got motivated. I walked everyday. Five miles. Every day. No change came right away. Then those insidious thoughts such as “you are losing your mind, ” or “you’re going crazy. You have a brain cancer which is making you feel sad, hopeless and helpless.”

After many months, and many miles, I felt that the mental fog and physical  pain was gradually disappearing until one day I realized that I began to feel like my old self , with hope and the old familiar upbeat feeling that I had always lived with. My first thought when this happened, the fog lifting, I told myself “this won’t last.” And I was right. It didn’t. But I kept on walking and the fog completely disappeared over time. I was free once again. It was like a night and day experience all bundled up together in my brain. Finally, with work,  time and talking to the  fellowship members of Depressed Anonymous, I found the necessary tools to keep me from relapsing.  And now, others are learning how they too can follow our path and get the relief and the answers they need to work their way out of depression.

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You can read more of my own thoughts about how to leave the prison of one’s own depression in DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, 3rd edition. (2011)Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

“I AM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!”

A quote from PERSONAL STORIES in the 3rd edition of the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS book. Page 148.

” I had to get my priorities straight. I put a lot of importance on things that were not important, or what somebody else might say about me.  I was afraid to change. I was afraid that I would change into a person that would be selfish and uncaring, but it didn’t happen that way. I just found a different way to go about it. In getting my priorities straight, I discovered that if a person doesn’t accept me the way I am,  then that doesn’t matter. I am going to do the best that I can. If someone else can’t handle that, I am awfully sorry about that, but it has to be. I want everyone to approve of me, but I am just not going to do that. I am not going to please everyone. I have got to take care of myself. I was so busy trying to please everyone else that I wasn’t taking care of my own needs. At the time I was doing it, I didn’t realize that I was doing it. Now I won’t deliberately hurt anyone else, but I am going to take care of myself.”   –Helen

NOTE:  The PERSONAL STORIES  include accounts from those persons who  found themselves  while being active participants in the fellowship of DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS. Their accounts of struggle and hope provide the necessary motivation for those still struggling with depression and shows how one can leave their own prison of depression. The DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS program of recovery provides not only a guide for productive and active living–it provides the tools on how to get to where you want to go.