WHO AM I? WHAT DO I WANT? WHO IS MY GOD?

AFFIRMATION

I am going to give up my narrow, judgmental and perfectionistic way of thinking and behaving. I will live in a spirit of hope today!

“Then we see that we cannot go on living like a child, expecting some parents, be it our own parents, or our lover…to save us and protect us, and crying in anguish and anger because this magical parent does not come.  Instead, at the bottom of the pit, we take charge of our lives.” (7)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

My parents were who they were and they did what they did because of what their parents did or did not provide for them.  Alice Miller tells us that it is not so important what our parents did to us as what we do with the information as to how our parents treated us.  I am sure both are important and so today I am going to get in touch with the fact that my parents aren’t perfect, that some of what they did doesn’t deserve to be honored. I need to respect them because they are fellow  human beings. But today, I will begin to sort out my feelings for my parents, stepparents/guardians when I was young.

So often my life is filled with the anguish of trying to sort out who I am and what exactly is my role in the world.  I feel that I don’t have an identity and that I don’t know who I am. This is the worst feeling of all  – that I don’t know who I really am,.’

MEDITATION

God of all creation, respect our wish to discover who we are and what we are about while we are here on your earth. Give us hope that you will and can speak to us as you speak to others. Speak to us about  our truth and so help us find ourselves. We surrender to your will and we hear from others that this does work in getting on with a life filled with serenity and hope.”

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SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pages 100-101.

I CHOOSE TO THINK ABOUT THOSE GOOD THINGS THAT I SEE IN MYSELF.

AFFIRMATION

I am making a choice now to like myself and focus in  on only the good things that I see in myself. I am imagining happy situations from my past and putting myself in the happy picture so that now I can feel happy.

“Proving yourself to be a man or woman can be a positive activity of learning, exploring and discovering who you are, or it can be the meager, self-destroying activity of trying to hide what is experienced  as essential worthlessness.” (4)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

When I attempt to avoid my feelings and to dig in deeper to what I am experiencing in the here and now, I pass up a golden opportunity for growing and for being more human.  It is only in the here and now that I live and breathe. When I try to avoid what I am feeling and continue my frenzied feeding on all the bad things that I accuse myself of, I find that my feelings of sadness get even worse.

Now, today, I am taking the risk of being responsible for my own recovery. I know that it is difficult to change my way of thinking negative thoughts. If I change it often, in time I will cling not to the awful things I say about myself but I will hang onto the positive statements I am now making about myself.

I need today to engage in activity of the positive type. I want to start a daily exercise program.  I want to write down a list of five positive qualities that I would like to have and then imagine myself possessing these qualities. (By this same time tomorrow on May 20,  we will have our five positive qualities written down and we will reflect on what we have written down. We will have more discussion on choices and feelings tomorrow here at this BLOG).

MEDITATION

God, come to our assistance and help us discover your way out of this darkness. We trust that you will there  for sure  right at this moment. We will have courage!

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. May 19. Page 102.  (See website VISIT THE STORE  for more DA literature.)

I CHOOSE TO LIVE IN MY SKIN AND FEEL MY FEELINGS TODAY.

AFFIRMATION

I choose to live in my skin and feel my feelings today.

ALAN WATTS SAID, “THERE IS NEVER ANYTHING BUT THE PRESENT, AND IF ONE CANNOT LIVE THERE, ONE CANNOT LIVE  ANYWHERE.” (3)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

To live in the present is difficult because usually when I am depressed I live in the faults, losses, guilt, and shame world of the past. The horrible past with all its hurts, imperfections and sins make it impossible but for me to live in yesterday.

I am gradually learning how to live, one day at a time. I am also picking up on how to see the red flags that pop up in my mind whenever I have a thought, or an action that indicates a need to sad myself. I have to admit defeat over what  happened yesterday, accept myself for today and just thank God that I am alive and that I can choose to feel differently right now.

I accept the present as my only dwelling place . I find that the more I am in touch with my present feelings, the more I can grow into a healthier human being.

MEDITATION

God you told us that we had enough troubles today and that we didn’t need to live in tomorrow.  Our depression will be diminished the more we take charge of our lives today, utilizing your guidance that we receive in quietly listening to your voice.

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SOURCE: Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups.

I HAVE BASED MY LIFE ON WHAT OTHER’S THINK.

AFFIRMNATION

I will affirm myself by getting in touch with my feelings and expressing them.

” To know how to behave you have to rely on  other people’s opinions, and so you live under the tyrannies of ‘they.’  What will they think?  is the thing that accompanies every action and determines ever decision.”

REFLECTION

I am so accustomed to living my life on the basis of others feelings, thoughts, and decisions about myself that in the end I feel de-selfed.   I feel empty and horribly alone; I feel saddened over the loss of my identity as a person.

Now, I am hopeful as I see that one of the best ways to defeat my sense of nothingness is to seek out the presence of this force bigger  than myself and be willing today –just for today, to let it work its power in my life. My identity as a person is going to grow slowly and spiritually.

When depressed, it’s hard to make up my mind. Just knowing that this is part of my depression makes it less painful as I  make a mental decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand him.

MEDITATION

Our God is consciousness and is knowledgeable of everything in  the universe. Our God is at the center of our lives, replacing the sadness around which our world  revolves. The more  conscious we are of God working in our minds and thoughts, the more we are going to feel like some one we can love.”

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“MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!  Again, we are back to the conviction that the God of my understanding will guide me down the path that best suits me and my recovery. How many times have I reflected upon comments made at  Depressed Anonymous meetings by members who speak freely about God’s work in their lives. It is amazing how often the thought pops into my mind how frequently  people speak about God’s power operating in their lives. The comments made by members originate in their own “spiritual awakening”  resultant of living out the Steps in their own lives. Anyway, it’s heartening for me to know and believe that God will work in one’s life if one trusts this power greater than oneself.

—  SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step Fellowship Groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky 402i7. Page 49.

BEST WAY TO EAT AN ELEPHANT?

BEST WAY TO EAT AN ELEPHANT? ONE BITE AT A TIME!

AFFIRMATION

I will think only those   thoughts that today reinforce my self-worth!

“…try to live one day at a time as it’s a lot easier. As someone once said, if you want to eat an elephant the best way is one bite at a time.”

I desire to be part of God’s plan today by staying active in my own recovery from  depression. The more I give of myself without reservation to its leading, the more I am able to free myself from my feelings of isolation and deadening fear.

My fears keep me living in my tomorrows and in my past yesterdays. Fear is the foundation of my depression. I am becoming less fearful the more I attempt to live one day at a time and have this day lived with hope.

Thoughts leads to feelings, feelings lead to moods and moods lead to behavior. I want to think that my life will improve today by the active role that I am taking in my own recovery.

MEDITATIION

God, we believe that you will not allow me to receive more than I can handle.”

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step Fellowship Groups. (2014). Page 253.

Expression-not depression.

Expressing oneself and sharing personal feelings can liberate ourselves from thoughts that imprison us and isolate us. They isolate us from others and the world around us.
I have found that it is in the milieu of an accepting and understanding group of people that I can grow and share my feelings. I have witnessed these many years (30 ) how all of us, including myself, can gradually come to trust others with feelings of shame, hurt and pain. In fact, it is in the context of my 12 step group program of recovery that I became a different person. I was able to come out of the shadows of my isolating depression and found people just like myself. They taught me and proved to me that just by coming back to meeting after meeting and sharing their own feelings that something, a power if you will, enabled them to move forward. No longer was I isolated in my own prison of depression but now I became liberated to talk freely, share freely, and join with others on this road to sanity and serenity. I AM NO LONGER ALONE!
Just by hearing myself share my feelings of how depressed I was–and listened to with respect–no “SNAP OUT OF IT HERE–I now found that toolbox of hope and freedom. I call this the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous.
Comments are always welcome here and a place where you too can share