Friends are wonderful people

Dorothy Rowe in her book  Depression: The way out of  your prison tells us that friends are wonderful people.

“I always regret that I do not devote more time to my friends –write them longer letters more frequently, visit them more often, invite them here more often  — but in  my mental map of my world my friends stand like giant statues of themselves.  My friends are the people with whom I have a continuous conversation.  There may be long gaps between exchanges, since many of them live in Australia or America, but the conversation is never interrupted or concluded.

To turn an acquaintance into a friend you have to give that person time and attention. If you have no friends it is because  you are so wrapped up in yourself that you do not give other people your time and attention. One part of not giving time and attention  to other people is fearing that if you do they will reject you.  The other part is feeling that other people are boring and you have better things to do than talk to them.  But if you want to find your way out of the prison of  depression, you need friends.  ”  Pages 201-202.

Sheldon Kopp said, “Who can love me if no one knows me.”

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Really to have friends and to connect authentically with others is to tell our story. To do so initiates a contact with another at a  deeper and visceral level. This is the “miracle of the Depressed Anonymous group.” And when we are depressed doesn’t it make sense that we find it less difficult to share with someone like ourselves than to that person who is clueless about what it feels like to be depressed.  When we  share our stories, we find our stories mirror groups of people who, because of their own sadness and feeling worthless–in other words, being vulnerable,  will be the cement that binds us together as  friends. We are no longer alone and adrift in this sea of humanity. And as persons get to know me they will in turn be able to love me and know me as a friend. It is a fact  that our friendships grow and blossom the longer we stay involved  with the  fellowship.

Want to have a friend?  —  then be a friend.

For more information read how friends are made in   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2002) Depresed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Hugh

“WE HAVE LESS CONCERN ABOUT SELF AND GAIN INTEREST IN OTHERS.” PROMISE # 7 of DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

PROMISE # 7 OF  DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

“As we start our program of recovery we notice that there are persons in the group who are less well off than are we.”

Newcomers also remind us of ourselves when we stepped into the group for the first time.  They struggle to keep back tears and hurt as they speak, possibly for the first time, trusting that they are with people who have been where they are.   This is what provides the beginning of hope and healing.  People in the group speak their language of hope and possibility. They hear how recovery is possible. They want those tools to use in their own recovery.

…  We need to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story. (3)

I personally believe that once I have made the first step, and admitted my powerlessness, I set in motion a force, a loving force of the creator in my personal life. In time I am filled with energy and find that this power can change me and restore my life with purpose and meaning. It can prepare me to meet those who are willing to risk leaving the prison of their depression. By my own interest in getting in touch with the Higher Power and getting its direction to “do the next right thing” I find that my own life is gradually becoming more filled with purpose and energy.”

SOURCE:  I’LL  DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. (2013) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Pages 43-44.