Today is your day !

 

If you are depressed, this is your day. Yesterday is gone forever, except in our memories. Tomorrow is not here yet, except in our imagination. This is all we got. This 24 hour period of time is  my time.   This is the space in which we will be living for the next 24 hours. For some of us, it won’t pass fast enough.  But  think about it: we’ve told ourselves thousands of time that we will not face who we are and what we want today but only when we feel like it. I will do it when I feel like it. Sound familiar?

The physical and mental pain of our sadness won’t allow us to think about anything BUT  my pain.  I feel like I am in a prison and no matter what keys I am supposed to have to get out, nothing will work.   I won’t accept that I have options for my release. Once depressed –always depressed, that’s my mantra.

Today is your day. This is the day you are going to make a break ! This is your day to do something different.  Namely, to listen for that other voice inside your head. You are going to hear that there is another way out. The lockdown is over.  You don’t have to live this way. Isolated. Imprisoned and without hope.

In “I’ll do it when I feel better is written for all of us who are waiting. Waiting. Waiting for what, I ask? Yes, I know what you are waiting for–you are waiting for   the depression to just  disappear. Poof! And it’s gone. But you and I know better than that. We have been depressed for so long we can’t accept that we can do anything about our life sentence  of misery.   I have personally been at this struggle for so long that I know something very important about leaving behind the misery of our lives.  The fact is that when we begin to take charge of our thoughts, feelings and lives, good things will begin to happen today. How? Talk to a person who has been there and is now recovered-living that life of hope. Read   the hopeful material from folks who have successfully found that  making today decision day  is today.

Let’s be honest. I once faced the same feeling of being hopeless  and  despair. I never thought that I was able to dig out of the hole that I had been living in.  My continuous negative and hopeless  thinking   eroded  all  the  motivational   energy that I might  have had to  try something that might work for me.

This is your day! You still have hours left in this day to make a decision to start   the  life that you have been wishing for.  Throw the sheets off–get off the couch-call a friend–check out this website depressedanon.com discovering how to get motivated for something that will work for you.   Why? Here you will   find the written accounts of folks, just like you  and me,  who have begin to live one day at a time. They are  making the most of each day.  Many of us begin each 24 hours by saying this prayer, the  moment upon awakening:

God grant me the  serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

It’s similar  to putting your toe in the water. Too cold? Too hot? No, just right. Why? Because there is hope here. There are folks here who are available for you to talk with.  There is an International  online SKYPE group that meets every Sunday. People who need to talk with others about their own  recovery using the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous.. People who are in recovery. These are those who  are spending today reaching out to others for assistance. They  find kindred spirits everywhere.

You can read hopeful stories  of people like yourself in Depressed Anonymous who have made a decision to live each day with hope.  For example, the following is  Gloria’s story of how her “today”  was on June 6, 1985. (First meeting of Depressed Anonymous was  founded  at this time).

“There are four of us who were together first on June 6th, 1985. We have become very good friends. I still remember what the counselor from the very first meeting told us. “I’ve seen people come and go. Some helped, some for just one meeting, some wanting a magic  wand waved.  It has helped me over the rough spots, and gave me courage to go on as a widow. I have found a peace in life, a special joy in knowing and loving people. In helping others, I have helped myself. I know my background in life has made me depressed at times. My Mother was abusive and I realized later in life that it was an emotional illness. I forgave her.

I will continue t attend Depressed Anonymous. Every time  is different and who knows what mystery each group holds? One never knows who needs me, who needs a smile or a hug or  who needs to feel that they are not alone, or who needs to know that there is a God who loves all. ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Annonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. (Personal Stories section. Page 141/In helping others I helped my self).

“On awakening, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives. Free us of these, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be on a higher plane when our thinking begins to be cleared of wrong motives. If we have to determine which  course to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then  we relax, and take it easy, and we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for awhile.

We usually conclude our meditation with a prayer that we are shown all through the day what our next step will be, asking especially for freedom from damaging self-will.”  Bill W.

TODAY IS YOUR DAY! WHAT CAN YOU MAKE OF IT?

For more information please contact: depanon@netpenny.net.

  www. depessedanon.com for BLOGS and information about depression and recovery tools.

Visit the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more information  on how to order books online

SOURCES:   (Copyright) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

(Copyright) I’ll do it when I feel  better. Hugh Smith (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Page 101. Louisville. KY.  (Quote from  As Bill Sees it. The AA Way of Life… selected writings of A.A.’s co-Founder. AA World Services Inc., New York. 1967. Page 243.)

Get the body moving and the mind will follow!

Sue, tells us how working at a local Zoo got her out of the house and focused on a new volunteer position at the zoo. She found that she loved it. It gave her a purpose and a self dignity that her depressed lifestyle had taken from her. The following is her own account of what this volunteer position brought into her life.

Action does precede motivation and I began working at a local zoo. It is a beautiful place (and safe from muggers too). I began talking with people and learned about classed there to become a docent (a volunteer teacher). I enrolled and graduated. This gave me a new purpose in life. I get great joy from working there doing outreaches to schools, nursing homes and hospitals. I have made friends with both animals and humans. There isn’t a day that I go  there to talk that I don’t get thanked by someone, a visitor, or employee (or sometimes an animal).

My family hasn’t changed ( although my mother commented on the change in my face), but I have. In this the Serenity  Prayer really helps.  I know that I can’t change them but I have new friends and a real support system so this doesn’t matter so much now.

Whoever you are, you who are reading this. Believe! The first Three Steps are the most important. Walking or other exercise is important. Staying with it is also important. Going to the meetings and participating is important, but above all else, faith is important. Faith will truly move mountains.”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 142-145. Personal Stories: Sues story: Faith does move mountains.

 

3rd Step prayer

A member of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship shared this prayer.

“God I give  you my life and my will today…to do with me what you see fit.  I ask that you use me as your tool and instrument to Bless your children whom you want Blessed. I thank you for finding favor upon me to do your work and will. I am privileged to be chosen.”

Submitted by Debra S  / Her 3rd Step prayer

SERENITY PRAYER

“God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things that we can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Today, we “trust God to be God, and let this Power help you, as it has helped millions of other men and women before you.”

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SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 52.

How to live outside the box? The depression box!

If you really want to begin to “live outside the box“, a description of what the box feels like and looks like might be helpful to you.  First of all, a box has an identifiable shape. It is a box mainly because it contains something–whatever that might be. And when we speak of the subject of depression, we talk about depression having us boxed in. The box as it is used here, in this context is a metaphor for feeling enclosed and which there is no exit. It is like being trapped or like in a prison.

Now, in order to live outside the box we want to live creatively, which means  that we are having to learn  how to live outside the box. Now, if you  find  this hard to believe -stick with me now  as I will explain what I mean.

Just briefly, my own experience with depression can be used as an example. First of all, when I was depressed I thought that I was losing my mind. The box that I put myself in was getting more restricting by the day and making my life hell. I could see no way out. I was trapped. What could I do I asked myself?  As hard as I tried, I couldn’t just will these feelings and scary  thoughts away–like taking a broom and brushing them out of my life. No matter which way I turned I hit a wall. With no answers forthcoming on how to keep my head above water, my body slowly  was being sucked down into  the quicksand of despair. The thought came to me, much like that small glimmer, a tiny light so far away, but nevertheless  a light. It was  like the lighthouse which with its  intense brightness warns seafarers that rocks were nearby and to be watchful before approaching. My mind began to race here and there for a way out of the box and then it hit me —   get moving. Move the body. Get busy.  The key out of this prison was already in my hand. And now, those of us here in the Depressed program of recovery,who have been putting “out of the box” ideas to work in our daily lives, we want to share what has worked for us and we know, if you actually use them for your own recovery, they are  bound to  ultimately free you. That is the promise I share with you today.

The following activities,  listed below  are some of  the tools that will get you “out of the box” when you get serious about using them.

I think taking a close and personal look at the following tools will not only help you get  “out of the box” but can be tools that you will be able to utilize, day after day as you continue your recovery.

  1. Exercise is a great tool if you happen to be depressed.
  2.  Getting out into nature will also help put your mind on beauty and your surroundings.
  3. Overcoming fear is also a great place to learn how to get out of the box. Learn about “first fear” and “second fear.” Fear doe seem to be at the center of our life when depressed.
  4. Recite the “SERENITY PRAYER” as often as you need it.
  5. The present. Staying in the now.
  6. Making use of the God box. This is an exercise, a simple one at that, which helps us learn the discipline of “letting go.”
  7. Feelings need to be examined and expressed. We will look at why expressing feeling is  so important,  instead of having them bottled up and causing all sorts of physical and emotional problems.
  8. Disable negative thinking: learn how to short circuit negative thoughts when they pop into our minds.
  9.  Reading Depressed Anonymous literature and all material on the subject of depression.
  10. Learn how we all have choices. We make those decisions that bring us closer to freedom–not those that continue to imprison and box us.
  11. Journaling is a great tool for writing down what has been our experience for the day.  It helps to clarify our thinking and puts things into perspective.

NOTE

In the next post, I will begin placing attention on each of the eleven ideas listed above.  Gradually we can take time to evaluate  our response to each individually and make our own notes as how to use these recommended ideas  for our own recovery.

Hugh

the serenity prayer

On this last Thursday of November, the people of the United States celebrate Thanksgiving. This is a national Holiday which reminds us of the many things we as a people can celebrate.

With a deep gratitude, I am also celebrating the many friends with whom I am in contact this day. I am also going to add my gratitude for all the special gifts I have received by being in a 12 step fellowship of recovery. I am also celebrating my freedom from depression and the fact that my own depression experience has helped me help others to free themselves from the deadly grip of sadness.
The prayer that means so much to me is the Serenity Prayer, which is said at the beginning of all our Depressed Anonymous meetings.

God grant me he serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

SOURCE:  (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

MORE THAN C0MFORT

When I am feeling depressed, I repeat to myself statements such as these…”Pain is the touchstone of progress.”…”I fear no evil.” …”This, too will pass.” … “This experience can be turned to benefit.”

These fragments of prayer bring far more than mere comfort. They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion, and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Bill W., writing in Grapevine, March 1962.

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My mantra, personally,  is the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

God grant us the serenity—

“God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

” We treasure the Serenity Prayer because it brings a new light to us that can dissipate our oldtime and nearly fatal habit of fooling ourselves.

In the radiance of this prayer we see that defeat, rightly accepted, need not be a disaster. We now know that we do not have to run away, nor ought we again try to overcome adversity by still another bulldozing power drive that can only push up obstacles  before us faster than they can be taken down.”

I think that Bill W., sure got it right on this one.  He tells us that defeat, rightly accepted, need not be a disaster. Well, initially when I felt totally defeated, I did not accept it. How could I? My life was falling apart and the pain so great that I did  want to  run away. Hide. Disappear. Anything but face what I knew I had to face.  But eventually when I did face up to my defeat,  my defeat didn’t turn out to be a disaster. Bill got it  right.  With time, work,and the 12 step fellowship my life started to straighten out.  Now, these many years later, I see how God made it possible to use my own defeat to help others overcome theirs. In other words, my Higher Power  gave me the necessary courage to change the things I could. One day at a time.