“If surrender of our wills to the ‘care of God’ is of the essence of the spiritual life, for anyone who truly desires to free themselves from a chronic and compulsive behavior such as depression, then the Twelve Steps can be your stepping stones to the path of a hope filled life.”
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
I used to hear the word “surrender” as it made me feel like I was in the hands and under the total domination of another. It was like I had no control whatsoever as to what I was to do or what I was to be. I was blind to the fact that in reality I had already surrendered my life to my sadness so that whenever I wanted to hide, or isolate myself, I just saddened myself and so didn’t have to feel anything. I am surrendering to the God of my understanding; slowly my life is filling with light and hope and this is what I really want for myself. I am finding that the ‘care of God’ is much better than anything I could ever wished for. My life is one filled with hope rather than being hopeless.
The spiritual life for me is filled with the excitement of knowing that this God of mine, as I understand him, is today wanting to lead me further into the light of his healing power. My spiritual life is filled now with a close and personal relationship with a God who loves and guides me on a minute-to-minute basis.
We are going to get as close to God today as we choose to get.
SOURCE: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 257-258. December 29.
I THINK I WAS A CONTROL FREAK!
“If surrender of our wills to the ‘care of God’ is of the essence of the spiritual life, for anyone who truly desires to free him or herself from a chronic and compulsive behavior such as depression, the Twelve Steps can be your stepping stones to the path of a hope-filled life.” (8)
My thinking is what has been keeping me depressed these many years. I haven’t thought of myself as being addicted to sadness or that I might even be a saddict. Now the truth is becoming clear to me as I work the Twelve Steps and attempt to change the way I think and feel. I no longer want to be a victim of my past, but I am becoming a person filled with hope and a new found zest for living. I am finding that my expectations for myself have decreased as my need to be perfect is yielding to a greater acceptance of myself as I am. Being perfect is such a bore. By letting go of my need for perfection it seems that my self-acceptance is beginning to grow.
One of the great freedoms I am experiencing in my life today is that I don’t have to be in control of everyone’s life or behavior. One of my character defects has been a need to always have everything and everybody under my control. I have even tried to control God until I learned that it is only when I surrender to God that my life can be filled with hope and peace.
We will no longer allow ourselves to continue to obsess about hiow bad our lives are when all we need to do is learn how to find our peace by allowing God to guide our will and our life on a daily basis. We don’t have to choose to live a life of misery –we can make different choices which restores my sanity.
SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days(c)