Why can’t I think my way out of depression?

 

Good question. You know, I tried to do just that. First, I asked why?  Then I moved on to what is going on here in my body?  I just knew, mistakenly, that all I had to do was just say a prayer (even though that is always a good idea) or change channels of thought in my mind. Click!  I was back where I wanted to be.  Back into life again.

I knew that life had changed drastically for me in the last few months. I had gotten myself on a path that led deeper and deeper into a very low mood, one that quite frankly worried me.  I didn’t feel sick or like I had the flu. I just started to feel irritable and moody. It was like I was emotionally sliding down a slippery slope and there was no way to stop the downward motion. I was in a free fall. That is what really got my attention. That is when it was time for me to yell help!

That is time for me to just sit and think and try and figure out this mysterious circumstance in which I found myself.  It was as I was trying to watch a video of myself  these last few months and to sort  out what had caused this gradual deepening spiral  which ground my life to a halt. I ran out of physical and emotion gas.  All my best thinking couldn’t get me to budge. I was down and out. Even my mind couldn’t  do anything for me –it was busy conjuring up all sorts of awful and frightful symptoms that convinced me that I was losing my mind. My concentration was zilch! I felt more than worthless. My mind and my body became enemies. My bed and sleep became my  best friends. And then, the moment came.  It was like a far- away voice that whispered to my psyche  “do something. Do anything! Move it! I did what the voice suggested. I moved my body. I began to walk and walk some more and I began to feel like I was starting to spiral upwards.

I had an “aha” moment at this time. Thinking wasn’t the way out–it was moving the body that was the clincher. It was the exercise of every nerve and limb in my body that got me back on track. I  began to believe  that I couldn’t think my way out of my isolation any more than I could fly. My mind had me go around in circles always ending up at the same desolate place.

I will cut to the chase now and share how my life came back together. It’s when I began to hook  up  with a bunch of people like myself. I had heard that they were freeing themselves from depression by coming together and sharing their feelings, hope and strategies for getting back on track with their lives.  The people in the group made me feel welcome right away. I knew I was home and that they had a message that gave me hope. It was that belief in myself that helped me choose the way out of my depression. It was the tools they provided me that helped me find a way to live free and without depression. It was like a miracle really.

This group is Depressed Anonymous. There is no charge and it is organized around people like myself who were depressed and who found recovery, unity and the opportunity to help others just like themselves. And just as our body and spirit got strengthened, so did our thinking.

 

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY  40241