Not even will power could lift my sadness

“To this day I can tell you exactly the place and time when I began to feel this terrible sadness suddenly and dramatically come upon me. I felt myself sliding down and over a dark precipice from which I was not able to climb out of for over a year of painful months. An unfamiliar  feeling of inner pain and numbness descended upon me.

At the time I truly thought this descent into hell came from “out of the blue.” But like all feelings that we experience, I now know that because of situations in my most recent past, and my reactions to them, that these thoughts and feeling had accumulated a wealth of debt whose note had come due on this particularly warm day in August.  Starting with this day, I began to move through a fog that not even will power could lift.

I realized in time, unless I started to do something about the way I felt and take responsibility for myself and my behavior, my situation most probably would worsen.”

COMMENT: And my depression did just that–it worsened. Tomorrow the story will be continued. Stay tuned.

Hugh

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SOURCE: I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Chapter One: The Depressed Anonymous Story. How it all began. Pages 1-2.)

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