PROMISE # 9. OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER PEOPLE IMPROVE
Why wouldn’t our relationship with other people improve. After we have begun to put into place our daily program for recovery, namely through prayer and meditation we now are expectant and hopeful. We reflect upon each step, and we complete a piece of the structure that in time will be the new me.
I think that one of the more critical areas to mend in our lives is the thinking part of our selves. Depression appears to start with the way our minds react and perceive events outside of ourselves. So, from the start we need to promote to those persons depressed to get involved in as much physical activity as possible, namely, walk, express to others, go to meetings, talk on the phone with supportive people – in other words, get connected as much as possible. The point where we hope to enter in the life of the depressed is at the point of hope – be it at different stages of recovery.
Most importantly we discover at our group meetings that there are many persons, much like ourselves and at the same level of recovery.
One of the immutable truths, according to Dr. Dorothy Rowe, who wrote the award winning book, Depression: The Way out of Your Prison is “that other people are such that I must fear, envy or hate them.” If we believe that we are bad and valueless then it follows that we must fear other people because they can find out how bad we are and so reject us. When we fear anyone for long enough we come to hate that person, and when we fear someone we don’t get close enough to that person to see their own difficulties. We think that they are having an easier time than we are, and so envy them. You will believe that everyone around you is on easy street. It is only when we ere able to look honestly into our souls that we will begin to see that it is how we feel about others that has an influence on our feelings today.
“Once newcomers hear the before and after of our lives it will make it easier for them to believe us when they experience our own enthusiasm and cheerfulness. Depressed Anonymous. Page 124
“We also believe that what you think is what you become.”
We can learn something not only about alcoholism but depression when Bill W., stated ” He can settle for mediocrity and self-satisfaction even though this may indeed prove to be a precarious perch. Or he(she) can choose to go on growing in greatness of spirit and action.”
In Depressed Anonymous (Page 125), we learn one of the best ways to grow out of our sadness is
” to start acting the healer instead of being the passive victim. We are under the care of no one except our God.”
I believe that our involvement with other people like ourselves in the group gradually broadens our perspective in the area of hope. We learn to utilize new found tools that help us live with hope as well as enable us to learn that we have to be active in our own recovery. In retrospect we know that it is in our making amends to those we have harmed by our depression that make our lives more open around us. Even if those to whom we make amends don’t accept our amends the main thing is that we have made them, We are doing the amends for ourselves. Whether or not the other accepts our amends is none of our business and out of our control.”
(c) I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER.” ( 2009, 2020, 2ND EDITION). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pages 28-53.