All posts by Bill R

Belief, Choice, Focus, Helpful Thinking

What you focus on grows

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What you focus on grows.
– Stephen Covey

Prior to recovery my focus was directed at what was wrong and why am I experiencing the difficulties in my life. I only dug the hole deeper making it that much harder to get out. If I look for problems I will find them. If I look for sadness and darkness I will find that as well.

The challenge that faces me is that I need to see things in a new way. I need to focus on love and healing. I need to seek out the good in the world because if I look for it I will find it. I strive to point my focus onto recovery and healing. I’m working the program and not working the problem. I’m not doing it in a Pollyanna way – I recognize that I have a disease and I’m not denying I have depression. I choose to focus on recovery and healing.

The true journey of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust

I challenge you to change your focus. What you focus on grows. Focus on recovery and healing. You are worth it.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

12 Step Meeting, Community building, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Purpose

Depressed Anonymous Conference on Hope

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Date: Saturday 4 March 2023
Time: 11:00am – 4:00pm Eastern time
Zoom Meeting ID: 851 593 3239
Passcode: hope
Direct  link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8515933239

The theme for the conference is hope.

There will be 5 time slots. Four of the time slots will be speakers sharing their story of recovery and weaving in the topic of hope. One of the time slots will be a brief meditation session and a brief yoga session.

All sessions will be recorded and shortly after the conference an audio only version will be available on the Depressed Anonymous website.

We hope to see you there.

If you would like to download a file containing the pertinent conference information please click: DAHopeConference.ics and then open the file on your phone or computer to add it to your calendar.

If you happen to use Google Calendar you can add the conference directly to your calendar by clicking:

Here is a link to a flyer if you want to distribute to others: DA Hope Conference

Do you want to hear what happened at the first Depressed Anonymous conference? Recordings can be found here: Depressed Anonymous Conference Recordings

Choice, Focus

Piloting your life and having depression

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There are different rules or methods of flying depending upon the current conditions.

  • VFR – Visual Flight Rules. In effect when the weather is clear during daylight when you can clearly make out the horizon and your orientation to it. You can also see the ground and estimate your altitude in relation to the ground. In this case you fly by using your senses. The actions you take when flying have a direct impact on your flight and you can see and sense the change in your flight pattern.
  • IFR – Instrument Flight Rules. In effect at night, or during a storm where your vision is poor. You may not be able to distinguish the horizon or your altitude in relation to the ground. In this case your senses are not reliable. You are better suited to fly by the instruments found in the cockpit: the altimeter, the horizon indicator, and the amount of throttle that is applied.

Why am I talking about flying a plane? What relation does that have to depression?

When my depression is in remission I can rely on my senses and my thoughts. I have a clear and concise view of what is going on around me. I can accurately see the consequences of my actions and I can respond to the updated situation clearly. I can trust my emotions and my thoughts because they are giving me an accurate representation of reality. I can go VFR and trust my senses.

When I am in the throes of active depression my senses and my thoughts are not clear. My emotions and thoughts are sending the wrong information and I should not rely on them. I must go IFR and trust the program of recovery. I need to step up the actions of recovery and be more diligent in my recovery work. I may need to go to more meetings. I may need to initiate an outreach call each and every day. I may need to journal. I may need to pray and meditate regularly throughout the day. Remember during active depression I can not trust my thoughts and emotions so I must fly by instruments.

This is not a judgment of good vs. bad. It is just a suggestion that you become aware of your current state. Are you in clear weather and trust your emotions and thoughts? Or are you in the midst of a current storm in your depression? If you are in a storm be sure to step up your recovery program. It works if you work it.

Yours in recovery, Bill R.

Choice, Focus, Mindfulness, Purpose

The OODA Loop: Observe, Orient, Decide, Act

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The OODA Loop – Observe, Orient, Decide, Act
Training methodology for US fighter pilots
Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop

OK, the vast majority of us will never be a fighter pilot. There is something that we can use from their training in our struggle against depression.

Observe – Become aware of your emotions. Are you: sad, mad, glad, lonely, embarrassed, guilty? If it’s not one of those you are probably tightly coupling an emotion with a judgment. Where do those emotions show up in your body?

Become aware of your feelings – what are you physically sensing in this moment? Not judging something as good or bad, just sensing. I’m wet because it’s raining – not it’s raining and my life sucks.

Become aware of your thoughts. Are you in stinking thinking? Are you in some sort of cognitive dissonance? Are you planning, reminiscing, ruminating?

Orient – Now that you are aware of your current state (emotions, feelings, thoughts) what impact is your current state having on your depression? What are your options? Are there things that could think or do or change in your surroundings that would help your depression and lessen it?

Decide – Come up with a plan of what to do. Be willing to try new things. Decide on a course of action.

Act – Deciding was the hard part – just take action. Execute your plan.

The OODA loop is not a one and done proposition. You need to go back into the OODA loop. What was the outcome of the prior loop? Did your actions lessen or increase your suffering? Let go of the terms good & bad – there is too much emotional baggage with those terms. Think of using helpful or unhelpful – these are neutral words that don’t have the same baggage associated with them.

Do not try to be perfect in executing your OODA loop. Observe, orient, decide, act. Then do that again. You will get better at it over time. Your depression will lift. Be willing to be aware, come up with options, decide on a course of action then act!

You are worth it. You are worthy of healing.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Choice

Laziness vs. choice

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On the subject of laziness – I have to resist the temptation to label myself as lazy. There is a finality to that statement and that I am doomed to be in that state forever. What I find helpful is instead bring a sense of agency to the situation. For instance:

In this moment I feel extremely fatigued and I choose not to do this task.

It’s OK for me to choose not to do the task. No one will die as a result of that decision. Also stating it as a choice opens the possibility that in the future I can change my mind and do the task. It leaves options open and available to me. Depression feels like I have no choice. Serenity feels like there is possibility of something different. It seems to work for me. Try it on for size and see if it fits. If it doesn’t that is OK – you now know a technique that doesn’t work for you. There are many other techniques here in the room that you can try. I need to be willing to try new ways of handling things.

Yours in recovery, Bill R