All posts by Hugh Smith

The coming of faith! I was alone no more!

Bill W., writes “In my own case, the foundation stone of freedom from fear is that of faith: a faith that, despite all worldly appearances to the contrary, causes me to believe that I live in a universe that makes sense.

To me, this means a belief in a creator who is all power, justice and love, a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however little and haltingly, toward his own likeness and image.  Before the coming of faith I had lived as an alien in a cosmos that too often seemed both hostile and cruel. In it there  could be no inner security for me.

“When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask for the gift  of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains  and problems  notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God’s love; I was alone no more.”

SOURCES: AS BILL SEES IT.  Page 51.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

“Not allied with any sect…”

“While AA and (Depressed Anonymous)  has restored thousands of poor Christians to their churches, and has made believers out of atheists and agnostics, it has also made good A.A.’s out of those belonging to the Buddhist, Islamic, and Jewish faiths.  For example, we question very much whether our Buddhist members in Japan would ever have joined this society had A.A. officially stamped itself a strictly Christian movement.

“You can easily convince yourself of this by imagining that A.A. started among the Buddhists and that they then told you you couldn’t  join them unless you became a Buddhist, too.  If you were a Christian alcoholic under these circumstances, you might well turn your face to the wall and die.”

Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, in As Bill Sees It.

____________________________________________

The World Health organization has stated that Depression is a global problem and that ethnic and religious populations are all affected by depression.

Persons from almost every nation come to our website, seeking help.

They are also able to read our BLOG and gain hope, guidance and the tools which can  help free them from the pain and isolation of depression. The also learn that they are not alone.

Some of our more flourishing Depressed Anonymous  groups, members  are located in Iran, an Islamic republic.  We are in contact with them  on an ongoing basis. Presently, they are translating our Workbook and Big Book into Farsi, the Iranian mother tongue.

Also,  our Depressed Anonymous Big Book has been published in the Russian language and is available to all those who speak Russian.

Is that all there is?

Today’s societies, actually  a consumer oriented society  in which   the latest “gizmo” or the latest “just have to have it”   item appears on the horizon or on the market.

Now that Christmas is over, all gift packages    unwrapped and all the “gizmo’s”  batteries from our toys have gone dead, it’s back to square one. It’s back to thinking about which of our many video games to give our undivided attention to.  Or it’s time to return our gifts that either don’t fit, mechanisms don’t work as well as we thought, or they don’t quite fit in with our tastes for our  home décor.

Now add to all of this, at least in our Northern hemisphere, longer and dark days, plus the frigid temperatures.  Most of us stay inside  our homes, unwilling to brave the snow, sleet and  icy roads.

A common two word complaint from the younger generation that I didn’t hear much of when I was growing up is “I’m bored.”   Also, “there is nothing to do.”  “What”  I say to myself, “how can this be?”    There is so much to do!

I believe that all of the above is a set-up for melancholia. We are face to face  with ourselves, and with no particular purpose or meaning for our lives except looking for some form of  immediate  gratification.  We become isolated in our negative thoughts and begin to feel alone and like nomads in the midst of a desert with no map  indicating what our next step should be.  Life sometimes is like a chess game where we are  check-mated–no where we can go to escape  being trapped and totally isolated. And by  being “bored”  and “with nothing to do” we  may slowly and imperceptibly descend into the enveloping quicksand of depression.

“Is this all there is?”  No, not at all, but if YOU  are all there is,  then  you may  probably   find yourself trapped and isolated.  Everything will come to a standstill, excepting that painful  hollow feeling in your soul that material possessions, prestige or pride will be unable to fill.  What will heal this gaping hole in your spirit?  What will allow you  to again look beyond your self so that you might see that this world filled with color and beauty can once again be yours?

Here is what I have discovered after having been trapped, isolated and depressed. I discovered and became part of a fellowship that helped me gradually climb out of my depression where I found out that “there is more!” Yes, there  is hope beyond just what I have, what I own or my desire for  more. There is the hope that what I have now has nothing really to do with anything material –it has to do with the  belief  in a  Higher Power greater than myself -a God of my understanding.

This Higher Power, and  this fellowship of Depressed Anonymous has for these many years  led me to others who  are looking for something to believe in – something to hope for. Possibly your own feelings of worthlessness and helplessness, which were my feelings too before  Depressed Anonymous as well. It is here where the   freedom  and the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps continue  to provide  me   peace and joy  to this very day.

Hugh

_______________________________________________________________

Read my story (there IS more!)  and many others in our DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, 3rd edition,(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Click onto VISIT THE STORE for more information.

As my mind began to heal…nothing will stand in my way to make choices

“As my mind began to heal and my thoughts became more lucid it became apparent that something inside of me is changing. Depression, when you begin  to examine the various symptoms up close, and deal with them, the experience becomes less threatening. Some say that depression is a collection of behaviors that are brought into play to defend us against things that are too painful to face. Also, depression results when a love object is lost through death or that one feels abandoned. We have become so at one with our lost love, that we mourn the death of part of us. The love object and ourselves has become one. I believe we use the word co-dependent   today.

At first I was frightened by my various symptoms of depression.  The symptoms proved to be baffling. I was not able to get out of bed as well as being unable to concentrate or manage a complex thought. I began to worry that I was losing my mind and I often asked myself if I was going to survive.   But now my ability to handle situations  in a meaningful way is due to my frequent attendance  at meetings, and by making a daily time for prayer and meditation and a feeling that my life has purpose and meaning. The more I am physically  active, that is.,  going to meetings even when I don’t feel like it. Working in my Depressed Anonymous Workbook, reading my 12 step literature. This behavior is where my freedom begins. And yes, I do feel lousy a times but I also know that nothing can stand in my way to make choices in my own behalf. Previous to my involvement with the group I had no idea that my depression was not so powerful as to  prevent  me from  even thinking that I could choose to feel differently. ”

SOURCE: (Copyright)  I’ll do it when  I feel better. (2016) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.  #11 PROMISE:  Intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. Pages 50-51.

If there is a God, let Him show Himself!

 

“When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.

My depression deepened  unbearably, and finally it seemed to me as though I were at the very  bottom of the pit.  For the moment, the  last vestige of my proud obstinacy  was crushed.  All at once I found myself crying out, “If there is a God, let him show himself! I am ready to do anything, anything.!”

Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. It seemed to me, in the mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain  and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing.  And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy  subsided. I lay on the bed,  but now for a time I was in another world,   a new world of consciousness.  All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, “So this is the god of the preachers!”

SOURCE:  Bill W., As Bill Sees It.  Page 2.  “In God’s Hand.”  (The above quote is from Alcoholics Anonymous, P.100.)

Who is in charge of your life? What and who is the source of your strength?

Good question. Bill W., co-founder of AA has an answer for us.

“The more we become willing to depend on  a Higher Power, the more independent we really are. Therefore, dependence as AA and all the other Anonymous groups practice it, it  is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit.

At the level of everyday living, it is startling to discover how dependent we really are, and how unconscious of that dependence.  Every modern house has electric wiring carrying power and light to its interior.  By accepting with delight our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves personally more independent, more comfortable and secure. Power flows just where it is needed.  Silently and surely, electricity, that strange energy so few people understand, meets our simplest daily needs.

Though we readily accept this principle of healthy dependence in many of our temporal affairs, we often fiercely resist the identical principal when asked to apply it as a means of growth in the life of the spirit. Clearly we shall never know freedom under God until we try to seek His will for us. The choice is ours.”   As Bill W., Sees It. Page 26.

————————————————————————

Our Big Book, which is a 12 step program of recovery  directs each of us on our path of personal recovery so that our mutuality of purpose as a fellowship ignites meaning for each of our daily lives.

The following is a quote from the Denise List, from the Therapist’s Views on Depressed Anonymous section in our Big Book. Page 27.

“The spiritual emphasis of Depressed Anonymous is its greatest strength. People come together and hear from one another how their Higher Power is healing and guiding their lives. They realize that being part of the group, they are not alone, and also  encourage true living. Depressed Anonymous has been a wonderful healing tool in the lives of many depressed persons  I’ve worked with.  It will always be one of the greatest resources I use in my work. It is true that ‘it works if you work it.’ ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

Filling up the “hole in our soul.”

AFFIRMATION

On this New Year’s day, I find that my work for my life today, and just for today, is to reflect on a time in my life that I have experienced a feeling of happiness and contentment.  If I can’t remember a pleasant situation from the  past, I will construct  a happy situation and imagine it occurring right now. Why not?

“In getting my priorities straight, my depression got better.”

CLARICATION OF THOUGHT

In my relationship to God, I am beginning to realize that it isn’t so much that I don’t believe that I’ll ever feel better, but that I just can’t know for sure.   My first priority is to admit that I do have a problem and that with God’s help, I can through my depression.

As soon as I give up my victim stance and begin to take responsibility for my feelings and my life, I can start to work as if my recovery is really up to me and that I will, in time, succeed in getting out of this deep dark hole that I call depression. My priority is to begin each day with  the conviction that the Twelve Steps  will be an aid in my getting out of  depression.

MEDITATION

God, we seek your guidance and your strength for our lives. Whatever we have lost  or feel we have lost, please heal the “holes in our souls” and fill them with your love and serenity. In our quiet time today, this first day of the New Year, show us what part of us needs to be healed.

See Steps 1,2, and 3.

__________________________________________________________________________

SOURCE: HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS : 365 DAILY THOUGHTS AND MEDITATIONS FOR MEMBERS OF TWELVE STEP FELLOWSHIP GROUPS. is now on KINDLE. Have it handy, everyday, and each day this coming year,  for your uplifting thought. You’ll be glad that you did.

PLEASE VISIT OUR STORE here at our website www.depressedanon.com.

Prayer by an unknown Confederate Soldier.

“I asked God for strength, that I might achieve, I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy. I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of others,  I  was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.,
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life, I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for — but everything that I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I among all people, most richly blessed.”

QUOTED in THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET.  Volume 6, # 2.

Coming full circle.

“When it first came to me that persons depressed might possibly profit from a 12 Step group approach to overcoming depression, not in my wildest dreams could it have prepared me for what had been unfolding these past thirty years.

While experiencing the Hanbedeceya or the Dakota (Sioux) people’s version of the Vision Quest I experienced the seed of a vision that is now gently and gradually beginning to unfold around the world.

On that South Dakota hilltop in April of 1977 I saw a large circle in the sky – the beginning of a vision that was beginning to unfold. This day was preceded by two days of total fast and without as  much as a sip of water. The days spent without food and drink –days spent in prayer and waiting – gave me a vision that there was something for me to do with my life,. I felt deeply for those suffering  isolation and who felt they were all alone in their personal agony, those alone in nursing homes and those incarcerated in their own feelings of hopelessness  and despair.

Somehow, fortuitously for me – grace happens – my direction would be that of helping others get connected with those still suffering from the same isolation as themselves. I realize that many times we can best determine God’s will by looking back over the events of our lives and see how God has led us to our present life work.  It was this personal joy to me,  that a person’s depression would be greatly diminished if they shared their story with people who much like themselves would come together and begin to learn to work  the spiritual 12 Step program of Depressed Anonymous.

This is the amazing power of Depressed Anonymous. It is a program that is available 24 hours a day and not just during business hours. It is a program that is based on the  suggested 12 step spiritual principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.

What is apparent is that our program is beginning to catch on and provide real lasting hope as  more persons who are depressed are discovering that to be connected to a Depressed Anonymous group is tantamount in connecting to hope itself.

I now see that this personal vision of the circle those many years ago is gradually unfolding and forming more circles of loving fellowship and can provide the hope that eventually will lead us out of the despair of our depression.

“We made a decision to turn our wills and our minds over to the care of God as we understood him.”  Step #3 of Depressed Anonymous.

Hugh

SOURCE: The Antidepressant Tablet.  Volume 6.  Number 2.