THE WORRY TABLE
THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN 40%
THINGS THAT CAN’T BE CHANGED BY
ALL THE WORRY IN THE WORLD 35%
THINGS THAT TURNED OUT BETTER
THAN EXPECTED 15%
PETTY USELESS WORRIES 8%
LEGITIMATE WORRIES 2%
RULE # 1 DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.
RULE # 2 IT’S ALL SMALL STUFF
RULE # 3 IF YOU CAN’T FIGHT AND CAN’T
SOURCE: University of Nebraska Cardiologist, Robert Elliott,
ON HOW TO COPE WITH STRESS.
I WANT TO SHARE SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT SOME DOMINANT FEELINGS THAT I AM EXPERIENCING TODAY.
OCTOBER 18 Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications (2014) pages 207-208.
Today, I want to write down the dominant feelings and share some thoughts about them with some friend.
“…Whenever we bring something clearly into consciousness and then put it outside ourselves in words or in something we make, we take control of it and thus reduce its power.” (7)
I am finding that letting out feelings and ideas into the open after having stuffed them for a time is like steam being released from a boiler. The more I release my sadness and my feelings of helplessness and despair, the more I am able to feel a bit lighter in mood. When I see in front of me, on black and white, what I have been thinking, I am able to debate the material that has had me crippled for so long. I am able to rattle the skeleton’s cage and not run away.
When I give away my power I give away a part of myself. And to give away part of myself is to lose hope about my life and my purpose e in life. Purpose, self and power all go together. I have, within my grasp, the power to work myself out of my helplessness the more I put my power to work.
God, grant me the power to take hold of the power that comes from you and put it to use in controlling the fear that pushes me deep into my sadness. I now have the hope that God is going to deliver me my power, that I am taking hold of it and using it to hope.
All growth is gradual and today I am taking another step toward my recovery.
“We just pray to be set free, and gradually, with small steps and subtle changes taking place inside our selves, we feel a change occurring.” (8)
It’s clear to me that only by making a conscious effort, can I begin to get better and feel better. The truth is that only by taking steps toward my own recovery, learning what I need to do to change, is when change begins to take place. I have the tools which I can build a new edifice upon which my depression can gradually be eliminated. by admitting my problem (see Step One of DA), that is, my need to hide and withdraw, my need to be perfect, wanting everyone to like me, are all considered and dealt with one by one. (See DA Workbook).
Any changes that takes place in my life are going to have to be initiated by myself. To take the risk to change is to take life as it comes. I want to change so I will have to take the risk and change.
God, you are the source of the power inside of us to change what we can change. Help us determine what we need to change first, so that we might find the peace and serenity that comes to those who believe in your assistance.
(Post your comments)
The toolbox of Depressed Anonymous
I think all of us have a toolbox in our lives that we use from time to time. For some of us, our toolbox provides us with a living. The same is true for my own toolbox. I received my toolbox back in 1982 when I joined a 12 step fellowship group of recovery.. The tools that I received at that time I still use. In fact I have added other tools as well. The tools I need the most I use every day. Have you a toolbox? And if your answer is yes, what do you have in your tool box?
In our DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS Big Book, one of our fellowship writes the following account of her use of the toolbox of DA. She states that “it seemed that I was living in another world until one of my parents gave me a phone number of Depressed Anonymous. The Depressed Anonymous meetings, plus reading the Depressed Anonymous literature and manual have all provided me with the tools to live without being depressed. Most important of all, the Twelve Steps mentioned in the book have made me understand that God (my Higher Power) will give me strength to deal with my depression and get on with my life and be happy with myself.
I read the Depressed Anonymous manual, go to counseling, and attend the Depressed Anonymous meetings. The meetings are a must. I need them to survive. The support group’s members help each other by listening, talking, expressing their feelings, and give support on how to cope with depression.
All these new tools have helped me and will continue to do so…”Depressed Anonymous. Page 148, Personal story #29.
Waiting in truth implies trust –a trust in a promise. In the last number of weeks we have been talking about the PROMISES of Depressed Anonymous and how with time, patience, work and trust we can gradually free ourselves from the ravages and pain of depression. Truly it does take one to know one when we are speaking of depression and how that painful and isolating experience is such a debilitating experience. When I was depressed more than a few years ago, I trusted that the Promises of the 12 Steps of AA and now Depressed Anonymous would help me too. It took time and work–something that had its root in my childhood was not going to be healed in a matter of days or weeks. With a firm trust in those people who, in the context of a group fellowship, said it was because of using the 12 steps that gave them hope and discovered a new way of living.
“There is an invisible bond between all of us. We are not on this earth to get from one another, but to share those spiritual treasures which are of God. Our interest in each other is, in truth, purely spiritual. Our purpose in life is the unfolding of the spirit within.” Goldsmith.
As Bill W., states in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book:
We let God demonstrate through us, what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what God would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.”
It is almost a truism to say about those of us who want this program, and are not now focused on self but on the will of God for our lives. I personally believe that once I have made the first step, and admitted my powerlessness (over depression), I set in motion a force, a loving force of the creator in my personal life.”
SOURCE: I’ll do it when I feel better. Page 45. Promise #7. “WE HAVE LESS CONCERN ABOUT SELF AND GAIN INTEREST IN OTHERS.”
“It seems to me that the more we share our story with other members of the Depressed Anonymous group, the more we can hear for the first time our own unique story. It is amazing how, when we speak to others about ourselves and our addictions, we begin to loosen up and release in ourselves a new sense of ourselves — a freedom to express our true selves. It is at these times when we discuss our addiction at the Depressed Anonymous meetings that we get first-hand information and feedback on how others are walking free of their sadness and hollowness.”
Source: Depressed Anonymous (2011) 3rd ed., Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Page 79.
PS. Also, in The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, on page 68 and at # 8.36 we discover how our depression may have kept us disconnected from others.
PROMISE # 7 OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS
“As we start our program of recovery we notice that there are persons in the group who are less well off than are we.”
” Newcomers also remind us of ourselves when we stepped into the group for the first time. They struggle to keep back tears and hurt as they speak, possibly for the first time, trusting that they are with people who have been where they are. This is what provides the beginning of hope and healing. People in the group speak their language of hope and possibility. They hear how recovery is possible. They want those tools to use in their own recovery.
… We need to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story. (3)
I personally believe that once I have made the first step, and admitted my powerlessness, I set in motion a force, a loving force of the creator in my personal life. In time I am filled with energy and find that this power can change me and restore my life with purpose and meaning. It can prepare me to meet those who are willing to risk leaving the prison of their depression. By my own interest in getting in touch with the Higher Power and getting its direction to “do the next right thing” I find that my own life is gradually becoming more filled with purpose and energy.”
SOURCE: I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. (2013) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Pages 43-44.
“Many depressed people will say, ‘I don’t know why I am depressed. It just happened suddenly, like a black cloud coming down.’ They say this because they do not want to look at the terrible events which threatened to destroy the way they saw themselves and their world. These events might not seem very significant to other people, but to the person concerned, they are very important. It is not the events in themselves which made them important, frightening, or overwhelming, but the meaning which we give to these events.” Dorothy Rowe, Ph.D., in the Foreword to the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS book. Page 12.
Wouldn’t you just like to see, at least once, why that 1 doctor, dentist, whoever, DIDN”T recommend this or that particular product? Who knows, it might lead us to rethink whether or not we should buy the highly recommended product. It’s like the TV commercials proclaiming how this or that particular medication is the one that can work for us. Well, possibly so, but there is a caution for those who do choose to use it. Following the glowing, miraculous effects of this or that medication, or latest product there follows the frightening list of cautions about what might happen if you do use it. Granted, by law, to protect the consumer, the product being hawked must list every side effect experienced by a user in the trials before being approved by the Gov’t. But as the list goes on and on about what MIGHT befall you by the use of their product this is enough to scare the willies out of any rational person.
Once when I gave a doctor at a local hospital our brochure on Depressed Anonymous, where it was written that since most medications contain some side effects, it is good that the patient refer these to their physician. We just wanted to help the person receiving antidepressant medications that there could be side effects for those taking these meds. Anyway, he didn’t think that disclosure would be helpful to his patients. Well, guess what–now with every med that you put in your mouth and with every filled prescription you receive, a piece(s) of paper detailing the side effects of the meds are always included with your meds. Nothing like being prepared for those potential side-effects which you are experiencing and which you need to contact your physician who prescribed them. I am thankful that this information is there for my protection.
My point here is that it is wise to consider the dissenting voice among those many who promote a product/group–even a Depressed Anonymous group such as ours. That 1 doctor, nurse, dentist, cardiologist might have something that we might need to be cautioned about.
So the next time you see and hear about a product which 9 out of 10 (whomever) recommend, you might want to say to yourself, ‘ I wonder that that 1 person didn’t want to recommend about the product.’