All Or Nothing Thinking, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Spiritual Heroes, Step 11, The 12 Steps

A Way Out Of Depression

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” During  acute depression, avoid trying to set your whole life in order all at once.  If you take on assignments so heavy that you are sure to fail in them at the moment, then you are allowing yourself to be tricked by your unconscious. Thus you will continue to make sure of your failure, and when it comes you will have another alibi for still more retreat into depression.

“In short,  the ‘all or nothing’ attitude is a most destructive one. It is best to begin with whatever the irreducible minimums of activity are. Then work for an enlargement of these –day by day- Don’t be disconcerted by setbacks –just start over.”

Source: Bill W., in Letter, 1960.

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CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Here is my take on the  statement above by Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.

When I first got involved with the Twelve Steps, I couldn’t wait to read all the steps and get busy reading as much as I could about them. But as I continued to stay in the program and get more involved in the Fellowship I discovered that I could not read ahead and think that now that I have read all the literature about the addiction I was done.  I graduated.  Instead, after thirty years plus, I am still working through these Steps and finding material that I need to look at in my life. The Twelve Steps and the study thereof, alone using the Home Study Kit,  and in the context of a fellowship  group, I have continued my quest to live one day at a time. Step Eleven is one of my constant companions which states that I “sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry it out.”

Our guide, Depressed Anonymous 3rd edition,  written by those of us who were depressed, contains an excellent commentary on Step Eleven (Pages 94-103). The Steps provide you and me with a lifetime of hope and help. The Steps continue to provide me  with a lifeline that is available to me, today, every day and every time.  It works for me!

-Hugh

Focus, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Hope, Positivity

I WILL LIGHTEN UP TODAY!

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AFFIRMATION

When I take myself less seriously, I find myself less hard on my self, and this in itself, is an expression of my hope..

“Giving up taking things personally makes life much more pleasant. But to give it up can be as hard as giving up certain hopes.” (7)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

To hope means to expect something to happen that we are wishing for. I know that when I hope, I am going to be in a better state of mind and have a more positive attitude about myself, my future and my world.  I find that most of my hope comes after I throw off my fear of change and take on the ability to risk living, without having to know exactly how the day will finish. I want  to laugh and have humor in my life. Maybe in seeing that my life isn’t  so deadly serious, I can afford to lighten up a bit.

This is  a word that I have placed on a shelf for most of my life as nothing ever seems to work out for me. But I have found this to be true –whenever I find my attitudes changing and starting to shift in positive directions, the more I find that good things begin to happen to me in small ways.”

MEDITATION

We  want to know it is God’s will for us to have hope and see the inconsistencies in life. Nothing is ever meant to be perfect. We are more concerned that we stay and live in God’s will –that’s the place where we want to live today.”

SOURCE: (c)Higher Thoughts for Down Days. Pg. 77

Acceptance, Courage, Prayer

More Than Comfort

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When I am feeling depressed, I repeat to myself statements such as these…”Pain is the touchstone of progress.”…”I fear no evil.” …”This, too will pass.” … “This experience can be turned to benefit.”

These fragments of prayer bring far more than mere comfort. They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion, and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Bill W., writing in Grapevine, March 1962.

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My mantra, personally,  is the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Acceptance, DA Literature, Isolation, The 12 Steps

I GET IT!

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I GET IT!

I didn’t get it at first when I walked through the door and into the fellowship of a Twelve Step meeting. I was there with  a bunch of people that I didn’t know.  Instead of feeling threatened by the fact of being like a stranger in a foreign land I was made to feel welcome. I sat down and listened to what members of the group had to say. When I was asked if I had something I would like to share I said I would pass. That was the first meeting.

But the longer the meeting went the more I began to feel that these people were talking about me and my life.  They were sharing how their lives had fallen apart, how they were despairing of any help.  They said that  just by walking  through the door was an admission, a public admission (public only to this group) that their life was unmanageable and out of their control. They felt helpless and alone. Wow! I thought to myself. I just might be in the right place. No one told me to “snap out of my pain” they just listened and  responded with how their lives were before coming to the Twelve Step meeting and how, after work and time  living out the Steps, how their life was today. I hung on every word as to how their life was today.   By  the members honesty, willingness and openness to come to terms with what they needed to work on, I finally  saw the light. I got it!

There are no magic potions, no magic wands–no, all that is needed to start the process of personal recovery is to believe that, with the group’s help and with the map of the Twelve Steps to follow,we can find our way out of the prison of depression.  Finally, just as a final thought, I still get it!

(Read: Depressed Anonymous (2013) Third edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications)

Belief, Choice, DA Literature, I'll Do It When I Feel Better

ARE YOU GOING IN CIRCLES? THE ADDICT’S CIRCULAR DANCE

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In the work  I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER,  recently published  (2013) by Depressed Anonymous Publications, Chapter Six centers its attention on COMPULSISIONS AND CHOICES; THE ADDICTIVE NATURE OF THE DEPRESSION EXPERIENCE. The following thoughts reflect some of the ideas discussed in  Chapter Six.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

“We all  know that any addictive/compulsive type of behavior gradually removes you from the regular  activities of persons around you, including family, friends and coworkers, until you are established in the narrow confines of pain and isolation. We are always going to be just a little more isolated the more we try to think our addiction through in the circle of our own thoughts.

This is what I have found out about addictive/compulsions is that they are like that of a dog chasing his tail. It’s a circular dance that can never end. The dog can never catch his tail. The addict can never get enough of what they are chasing, be it one substance or the other. The next physical rush  is the next hit, the next drink, the next porno movie/picture.

Once we have admitted that our lives are powerless and unmanageable we begin to get excited about a vision, a vision of the new person that we might become. We also learn that there are other alternative ways and various choices that we can make in our behalf. It is beginning to sink into our minds that we are truly responsive for our choices and personal decisions. Like others in the program of recovery who broke out of the vise grip of their addictions they slowly learned to make decisions that favored sobriety and serenity”. Pgs. 61 – 62.

DA Literature, Focus, Higher Power, Journaling, Spirituality, Step 02, The 12 Steps

God Is The Rudder Of My Boat. I Am Going To Put My Oars In The Water!

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 AFFIRMATION

I will have the peace I desire as I continue to pray to do God’s will.

“Being in God’s will is the beginning of peace and the beginning of the end of your depression with its hollowness and jitters.” (8)

 CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Most people don’t understand this who have not been in the program very long. What it means is that I must attempt to work and live this spiritual program. I need to let myself be guided by God’s hand in my life and so become open and ready to fiollow his guidance.

The beginning of wisdom is to hear the voice of God. It is imperative that I take an active role in getting better. I often say that God is the rudder of my boat and I have to put my oars in the water if I am going to get to the shore. I believe that one of the best ways for me to start to feel better is to take each step (Depressed Anonymous, Third Edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications) and try to do what it suggests.  Keeping a journal lets me know what I am feeling for each day. I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.   I wonder sometimes if this hollow feeling inside myself isn’t more of a longing and hunger for a spiritual food that nothing in my life now can and ever will provide.

MEDITATION

We pray that God will show us the way out of our depression by living and following the program that  has healed other people who have been addicted to a behavior or a substance and which  continued to bring them down instead of up.

SOUIRCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for Twelve Step Fellowship Groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 71.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, The 12 Steps

“I NEVER KNEW THAT THERE WAS A TWELVE STEP GROUP FOR DEPRESSION”

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What a surprise, for those who search on Google for groups that help people with depression. Just the other day someone mentioned that they came upon our group by accident and were not aware that there was a group focused solely on depression.  There are groups which help all sorts of maladies, including depression, but as far as we know there are not many whose sole focus  centers on depression and who use the suggested spiritual recovery program of the Twelve Steps for  a solution. But, here we are, DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS.

If you would like to learn more about our group please keep on reading the articles/BLOGS which appear on our website menu. It is here that you can find  information about who we are and what we do. Presently, we are trying to help others start their own DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS and if there are no groups in your locale you can use the HOME STUDY PROGRAM which can help you start your own mutual aid group. The HOME STUDY PROGRAM utilizes the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS MANUAL along with THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS WORKBOOK.  It only takes  yourself and one other person to form a group. If you would like more information about our Twelve Step approach to depression please read more about our DA literature  available at the Website store.

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YES, THERE IS AN EASTER BUNNY.

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Well, what a surprise Easter Sunday when our four Grandchildren came to find the 38 or so hidden colored Easter eggs  hidden around our yard.  But there was a surprise waiting for them. And  for myself as well. Right there in our yard, was a huge bunny. Who said there was no such animal as an Easter Bunny?  And previous to this,  we finally got past the Santa Claus thing without too much  damage  to the children’s psyche.  Like all children,  they eventually  moved on and past the Santa Claus mythology. Now we all had to  think about the Easter Bunny. Here, in our own back yard, was the living proof, a real live bunny. And a big bunny at that. The children were in awe. And to think he (yes, a he) laid  38 eggs all by himself. Amazing to say the least.  But after all was said and done, what the children put into their Easter baskets,such as candy, gum and coins  took most of  the shine off of the rabbit’s magic  appearance. They knew. Not even our 5 year old got pulled in on this one. With all the emotion of a large rock,  not even one of the children even mentioned this supernatural event –this cosmic  occurrence – when a bunny “just happened” to show up in our yard on this day, Easter Sunday. It does sort of baffle the mind, does it not?

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And again (I can’t let go of this) to set the record straight, it WAS quite a coincidence to have the bunny show up, on this day, on the traditional day when children all are on the hunt for eggs, and all the other good stuff that kids love. Anyway, I just thought that it made  a good story – especially a true story. It’s my guess, that they will remember this day for many a year hence. And just maybe, an Easter bunny just might show up when their kids are looking for eggs, candy, gum and all the good stuff that kids love. Thank you Easter bunny.

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Dear reader, I know this bunny account has nothing to do with depression but just maybe it can get us to reminisce about a time in our lives when our thoughts turned to discovering those hidden eggs in our back yard, placed there by a bunny whom we never saw, but believed he was  real.

Belief, Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Spiritual Heroes, The 12 Steps

Bill W. & Dorothy Rowe & Margie W.

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Three persons who made a big difference in my life and how they each  helped me deal with my own melancholia (depression).

First of all there is Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, who by his own witness, presented to us the spiritual program of recovery that we know as the Twelve Steps. Not only have they given me personally  a daily step by step program of recovery to follow but helped me fashion a program of recovery for persons depressed using the same spiritual program of recovery. Bill W., makes available through the Steps to any and all who seek a way out of their attachments to whatever is slowly  destroying their lives.

And then there is Dr. Dorothy Rowe, PH.D., a psychologist who has written many great books on depression and how to live one’s life. In 1985, a member of our newly formed Depressed Anonymous group gave me a copy of her book Depression: The way out of your prison. (1983, 1996) Second Edition. Routledge, London and New York. It was this book that opened my eyes and my mind to beliefs about depression that has accompanied me through my encounters with persons with depression in my own clinical practice, as well as  in the formation of  all the Depressed Anonymous  groups  focused and centered on the Twelve Steps. Not only have she and Bill W., been my mentors in this life long effort of mine, but both have given me keys that not only have released me from my own prison of depression, but persons everywhere have their lives back, plus a belief in a Higher Power,  thanks to these two pioneers.

Then there is Margie W., a charter member of Depressed Anonymous (whose account  appears in Depressed Anonymous in the Personal Stories section of our book). She states  “I can’t really remember for sure how I became involved in Depressed Anonymous. I believe a co-worker told me about a professor at the University of Evansville who had students who were helping people in the psychology field and wanted to know if I would be a volunteer to help start this new self help group. And it was free! What did I have to lose? I had seen Doctors, took their prescribed drugs and still ended up on the same old merry-go-round of ups and downs  and “hangovers” from the drugs. I joined a small group at first. We talked, set weekly goals, took short walks, visited with friends or enjoyed a cup of coffee to relax. We had to do something for ourselves. I had to learn to be good to myself, instead of nurturing  everyone else. I found a good doctor who gave me a lot of good advice about “pampering ” myself more. It hadn’t been easy.  I’ve read self help books, positive thinking books and worked hard on my way of thinking for years. I’m a natural born worrier, so things always seemed worse than they really were.  “(I) feel like I have something to offer the group. Hope is the word. I finally got above the edge of the rut that I could barely peer over for years. I know others  can do it too. Don’t give up. It’s a lot of hard work, but it can be done. I know. I was there.” Depressed Anonymous, (2011)  Third Edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville Kentucky.

Attachment, Higher Power, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mindfulness, Purpose, The 12 Steps

I LIKE BEING A RESPONSIBLE PERSON AND I WILL NO LONGER BLAME OTHERS FOR MY SADNESS.

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AFFIRMATION

“Responsibility is the name  of the game in recovery and it is here that we need to focus our attention.  As we get into a discussion with other  people who are depressed  – much like ourselves – we see that they talk about feeling better while at the same time acting on  their own behalf. ” (8)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

To blame someone else for all my problems, and to focus on someone else and not on myself, never  accomplishes anything therapeutic. I believe that as I commit myself to  my program of recovery I begin to feel a shift in the way I think and act.  I know that the only way out of my pain is to get into dealing with my sadness and the way that I sad myself.  I need to begin with Step One  and admit my problem. I need to admit that my life has become unmanageable because of my attachment  to depression.  I must remember not to blame myself for depression  – I just know that right now, today, I want out!  I tell myself I’ve had  it!  I intend to get better.

In order to change my life, I have to begin taking responsibility  for it today.  By setting a goal, just for today, I can plan some success into my life.”

MEDITATION

We know that our Higher Power wants us to live just this one day. God is neither a vengeful God nor is my God a punishing God. My God is there for me and the more I open up and trust God, I trust myself to change and be a better and more serene person.”

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SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications . Louisville, Kentucky  P. 69.

We believe that what we think, what we say, and what we do impact our depression. We believe that depression can be managed by applying the principles of the 12 Steps. All are welcome!