Belief, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Ego Deflation, Egoism, The 12 Steps

WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE, ANYWAY?

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“The faith of my Sunday school days was gone, and the  “god of my understanding” was far off.  (But not so far as it turned out).  It stretched me to even imagine ” a power, a strength, and I became unwilling to take this route. I wasn’t ready to take on God yet.

However, God was ready to take me on, for in my ignorance I’d done about all AA  (We could add DA here. Editor) asks — I had become willing. And this is how he did it. In some casual reading about seeds, this statement caught my attention: ” Science can construct a seed identical to a natural seed in every detail but one –science’s seed will not germinate.”  The words seemed to leap from the page. They demanded answers. What is the missing ingredient in the man made seeds?  Is it some dimension I don’t know about?  Is it in everything? Even people?  And then the big question. Who is in charge here, anyway?

Backed into a corner finally, by a logic greater than my ego, I conceded. Too many miracles, too much confidence, and too much evidence of a power greater than myself all around me left me defenseless. and in awe. I surrendered. And the power wasted no time in reinforcing my belief with these words from the Big Book: “We found that as soon we were able to lay aside prejudice and  express even a willingness to believe in a power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God…

He is always there if I but look, feel and want him to be; my conscious contact is dependent upon my being willing.

My personal  thought about this passage is that it took a complete deflation of my ego before I said “I give up.” My life was in ruins and I had nowhere to go. No one had an answer–not even my church fellowship. (That came back in spades later). But who was able to help–it was that Twelve Step group  who said that they believed in this Power  that was truly greater than the booze, depression, gambling–insert your own addiction here–and you know what, they were right. That was more than 30 years ago.  The seed that was planted by these Steps has now produced in my life that is lived one day at a time.

SOURCE: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Depressed Anonymous Publications. (Question 11.11 in STEP ELEVEN SECTION. Louisville, KY  40217.

Fellowship, Hope, Victim Thinking

I BEGAN TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HOW I FEEL, THINK AND BEHAVE. I AM NOT A VICTIM!

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” You  might now be feeling better for the first time in your life as you continue to make a conscious effort to take responsibility for your sadness.”

I began to take responsibility for how I feel, think and behave.

REFLECTION

One of the hopeful sights to see at a Twelve Step meeting is that the people who work their program and who are serious about leaving their depression start to not only look more content with themselves, their world and their future, but they also seem to be enjoying life once again.

Teresa told me that her Doctor never once said she was depressed after her physical exam and it wasn’t until she got involved in therapy with me did she learn that what she had  been feeling for months before was her depression, She was relieved to know that she wasn’t losing her mind but only that she was experiencing the excruciating sadness that we all create when  we get depressed.

She will feel better when she learns that it’s her life and the way she chooses to interpret what happens to her is also her choice. Misery is an option and if she wants  to go for that she may, but if she wants to live with  some unpredictability in  life, then she needs to get ready for some bumps in the road  – but also she needs to be prepared to smile, laugh and know that her life can be filled with hope.

 MEDITATION

God please give us the wisdom to know that you want us to enjoy this life while we are here. We want to to enjoy it, so let us seek to want to be in your will. We can make it.

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I GET IT!

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When I first joined the fellowship of the 12 step program of recovery. I really didn’t “get it  All I knew was that my life was in pieces and that I came to the 12 step group to see if I could put all the pieces of my broken world back together again. Well, it really wasn’t me alone that was putting everything back together. I knew it was my responsibility to  do all that I could to measure the work to be done and then get it done. I had lots of help. Lots of supportive people who saw me through the times when I didn’t get it. I especially didn’t get the surrender part to this Higher Power. But  after my prayer and  reflection time I realized that just by walking through the fellowship door for the first time that I was “:getting it.”  Just admitting that I had nowhere to go but up was a real  big step for me. Now after “still getting it” I am able to help others “get it.”  Our program takes time and it takes work. But it’s taking one piece, one shard at a time. By the time that we worked through all the steps, embedded ourselves in a loving fellowship,  plus admitted that there is a God and it isn’t me, good things happened for me. That was more than 30 years ago and I am still “getting it.” Get it?

Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Spiritual Heroes, The 12 Steps

DEPENDING ON OTHERS APPROVAL?

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AFFIRMATION

I am getting healthier the more I realize that I don’t have to feel the way I feel and that I have the options to feel content and even smile today if I desire. I will act like I want to smile even though I don’t feel like smiling.

“If you have made yourself a martyr to your unappreciative  family, remember the principle of partial reinforcement and apply it to your family.  If you are always at their beck and call trying to meet their every demand, they will not appreciate you, but once they find that they cannot rely on you to meet their needs, they will appreciate what you do for them.” (7)

REFLECTION

I    know that so  often those who are codependent and live all the time in everyone else’s feelings need to remember that the real maturity and happiness lies in being there for myself—not for everyone else.  I think that this reflection points out  the fact that I need to reinforce my own worth by going to meetings, actively getting involved with my own  recovery and putting the recovery over anything or  anyone else.  If I am going to begin to be  a pleasant person, I will want  to learn how to be pleasant to myself.

Now is the time and this is the program where I start to detach from other people’s opinion’s of myself and start to reflect on my own opinion  When I am depressed, I know that I have not been able to forgive anyone, much less forgive myself. I feel totally cheerless. I meet my own demands and continue to work the  Steps so as to get in touch with what I need to do to reinforce those positive concepts that I am forming about myself. I need to get prepared for a new me today. We are now on a different basis: the basis of trusting and relying upon  God. We trust, infinite God rather than our finite selves. Just to the  extent that we do as we think God would have us do, and so humbly rely on  God, does he enable us to match calamity with serenity.” Bill W.

MEDITATION

When we gradually work our way to the real self we get closer to God who made us.

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SOURCE: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville, KY 40217.

Fellowship

A POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES

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I love that statement.  A few times with my work in the prison system I ran across one or two individuals who said  that they didn’t believe in God. No one fell off their chairs when that statement was made. Like, this wasn’t a church meeting by any mean. I remember the one man telling us that the Depressed Anonymous group was his Higher power. It was this group that met every week in which he could share the ups and downs of his prison life. The group was there when he needed them and who shared their own stories of pain and the need for  the fellowship’s support. 

Was I a prisoner?  Well, like all persons depressed, I felt that I was in continual lock down.I felt that my own isolating  behavior prevented me,  by my own feelings of shame and guilt to remain locked up behind the bars of fear and anxiety.  But I also knew that we all were kindred spirits.  We all experienced or were experiencing the pain of depression.  We all were fighting this thing together. We knew that we were all equal in this fellowship. Even though I did not live my life in a physical prison, I knew that my own isolation and fear kept me chained to my past. The new me, thanks to a gradual spiritual awakening, and dependence upon my Higher Power and  support of the fellowship of my Depressed  Anonymous group, I finally moved out of the dark world of depression.

I do hope as time goes by to put emphasis upon this Power greater than ourselves. And what is the Power? How do you contact it? How does one  “…come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity? STEP TWO OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

For a refresher, you might like to go to our website menu where you can read THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS. I know these Promises to be true ..they happened for me.

Depressed Anonymous, Higher Power, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

A DESIGN FOR LIVING THAT REALLY WORKS.

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A DESIGN FOR LIVING

“There Is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed in to fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed

“…The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.”

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Speaking about the alcoholic, Bill W.,  tells us  “If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle of the road solution.that the alcoholic, who was in a, position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives:One was to go on  to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could and the other, to accept spiritual help.”

“Both you and the new man/woman must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen, When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.  Follow the dictates of the Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances.”  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.  2013. Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville, kY.

The 12 Steps

Having Had A Spiritual Awakening As A Result Of These Steps We Tried To Carry This Message…

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” Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs  THE TWELFTH STEP OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

The only requirement for membership in Depressed Anonymous is a sincere desire to quit sadding ourselves today.  Just for this twenty-four hour period. We want to try for this short period of time to let go of our sadness. But since we are saddicts, we need to know that we can’t just snap out of our sadness in minutes or even days.  To get to feeling better takes time because our learning to sadden ourselves goes back  over months, possibly years and one doesn’t just snap out of feeling bad in a few days when the whole way of living has taken years to develop. As was brought out in another Step, it’s not so much our addiction that we need to focus on as our whole life  – which we now admit is un-manageable. By practicing the principles of the Twelve Steps, we now know that we need to make  an inventory of our whole life. We can leave no rock unturned if we want to live with serenity and hope.  Our sadness, like any other addiction, is merely a symptom of some deeper compulsion that manifests itself in our need to seek comfort and safety in sadness. But this is the nature of our addictive behavior and thinking.  Our thinking has been compulsive. Every time someone hurts our feelings, and said something that wasn’t pleasant, we withdrew into the dark hole of our depression.  We shut down our feelings by numbing ourselves against future hurts.  Depressed Anonymous wants you and me to try for one day at a time not to withdraw compulsively into sadness when we come up against a stressful situation.”

—–Read more about the Twelfth Step in the DA  Manual, 3rd edition, (2013) Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville  Ky. Page 104.

Positivity

HAVE A NICE DAY UNLESS YOU’VE MADE OTHER PLANS

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I have heard this many times at our 12 step meetings. So much depends on how we look at situations that happen in our lives on a daily basis. I think the solution (solution focused) is about our attitude. Really, our attitude has a lot to do with our happiness or lack of it. Now, if you don’t make any plans for this 24 hour period, but instead spend your time thinking how bad things are you will more than not have a bad day. You will not have a nice day.

One of the best ways for me to have a nice day, even though it started out as a day filled with problems, the Twelve Step program of recovery gave me the chance to turn around my bad day and provide me with  a hope filled day.  I went away from a meeting knowing that what I have( depression) won’t last forever but that just for this time, I felt different–meaning I felt better. I made plans to have a better day and found out how to make it so.

Have a nice day!

Belief, Focus, The 12 Steps

HOW WOULD YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT WAS POSED TO A CLIENT BY HER PSYCHIOLOGIST? (SEE BELOW).

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Dr. Rowe in her book WHAT SHOULD I BELIEVE, asked her client Julie this question:

“Suppose you were faced with a situation where you could act only in one of two ways. If you acted one way people would like you, but you wouldn’t respect yourself, and if you acted the way people wouldn’t like you but you would respect yourself. If you were faced with that, which would you choose, respecting yourself or other people liking you?”

Julie answered immediately, “Respecting myself. That’s one of my standards. I realized that at university. One thing about depression, it does make you independent because you don’t care about popularity. You must function without other people anyway, so it doesn’t really matter about other people. I suppose you just live like an observer, observing people, the way they live, and just get a bit cynical. I am very scornful of people who do things just to be popular. I analyze myself and other people constantly, and “honesty and integrity” is the byword.  ….” Page 203-204.

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Hugh’s comment follows

Julie makes an interesting statement where she says that “depression, it does  make you independent.”  That statement, like the one in the above paragraph made me stop and reflect on my own experience with depression.  Did the experience, painful  and immobilizing as it happened to be, did it make me more independent?  In some ways I think it did. Like, I was more sure of myself as I learned more about my character and how some areas of my negative thinking and behavior were the cause of the spiraling downward of my person into the dark pit of depression.  First of all, I became more aware of my thinking processes and nailed the times that I was beating myself up or not watching the way I ate and the fact of my great need of exercise which I was neglecting. No matter what, I now am embarked on a healthier lifestyle and am convinced that the Twelve Steps continually help me assess my strengths and defects of character. Yes, Julie is right. I am more independent. Now,  instead of going about  my life in a  mindless fashion I am mindful of what prevents me from being in the present moment. I now try to center myself, by my daily prayer and meditation times. All this is critical to my staying sane and serene. What do you think?

Choice, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Hope, Isolation

RIGHT NOW, I FEEL A GLIMMER OF HOPE…

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Right now, I feel a glimmer of hope.  I will make this glimmer grow brighter by trusting in my ability to expand my activities today and talk to a friend about the small steps I am taking to feel better today.

“Those of us who cope with life have  put up some barriers, have made some disconnections by maintaining many connections. Those people who become depressed have disconnected themselves completely, and the barriers they  have built are the walls of the prison of depression.”

Depression continues for as long  as I stay disconnected from those around  me. I don’t want to be connected – I might have to change the way I think, feel and act.  This would turn  my comfortable world upside down and then where would I be. I’d be like the sailor on a cloudy night-nary a star by which to chart my course.  Being in contact and connected with others means that I am ready to risk getting someone else a look inside my prison. It means that my new connections will change me to face my old beliefs about myself and my world.  Today, I have the opportunity to choose to trust or to retreat back into my hole of hopelessness. What’s it  ‘gonna’   be?

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EXCERPTS:  HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS.

We believe that what we think, what we say, and what we do impact our depression. We believe that depression can be managed by applying the principles of the 12 Steps. All are welcome!