I’ve learned that asking for help is so important in this program and in my life. Reaching out for help when I’m hurting can be a really hard thing to do. Reaching out and asking for help anytime can be hard – but especially when I’m in a bad place. Pain, however, is the great motivator. When I’m in enough pain, I know what my solution is. Pick up the phone and call someone. Ask for help. Ask for a sponsor. Call my sponsor and take suggestions. Talk to my Higher Power, surrender my will, and ask for my Higher Power’s help. There are people in this fellowship who understand me and will support me. It is such a blessing to be a part of a fellowship where encouragement and support is freely given. All I have to do is be willing to reach out and ask for help.
Why do I need to ask for help? Many reasons. My best thinking got me here. What I mean is that my best thinking brought me to the point of severe depression, suicidal ideation, and the inability to function. Clearly, there is something wrong with my thinking. I am a depressive, or a saddict. My first thought tends to be a negative one. Left to my own devices and my own thinking, I sadden myself. But now that I know this, I can reach out and ask for help.
Self-sufficiency has failed me. It’s an old and well engrained idea of mine – the philosophy of self-sufficiency. The idea that I should be able to solve all my problems myself. The question I need to ask myself is “how well did that work for me”? In my case, it led to self-destruction and severe depression. This program has introduced me to the concept of God reliance, or Higher Power reliance, or even fellowship reliance. The idea of relying on a Power greater than myself. That idea works for me. It gives me hope, better days, connection with others, and a way out of depression. But to do that – to get help – I’ve got to ask for help. That is my responsibility and my privilege.