“When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.
My depression deepened unbearably, and finally it seemed to me as though I were at the very bottom of the pit. For the moment, the last vestige of my proud obstinacy was crushed. All at once I found myself crying out, “If there is a God, let him show himself! I am ready to do anything, anything.!”
Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. It seemed to me, in the mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy subsided. I lay on the bed, but now for a time I was in another world, a new world of consciousness. All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, “So this is the god of the preachers!”
SOURCE: Bill W., As Bill Sees It. Page 2. “In God’s Hand.” (The above quote is from Alcoholics Anonymous, P.100.)
I have hope that I can accept myself today and just let go of all the old messages from the old tapes of childhood that told me that I was bad and worthless.
“You desperately wanted people to love you, but you became very wary of giving your love to others. You reasoned that the less you loved another person the less it would hurt when the inevitable rejection came.” Dorothy Rowe
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
I have been holed up for so long in my own little world of feeling hurt and rejection that to attempt to love someone else seems like the greatest challenge of my life. I desire so badly to be loved by someone else that this lack of another’s love makes my isolation from another so hurtful.
After having witnessed the miracle of the group in DA, where depressed people came with their feelings of being hurt and rejected, I find that other’s love and nurture challenge me to hope once again. I can share with my Depressed Anonymous group the fact that I haven’t measured up, that I am angry and that I just want to lie down and die.
I am open enough now to let the light of love from others, who like myself, realize that I am not alone and that I am beginning to feel better already now that I no longer need to be perfect.
This means to be willing to affiliate and give of myself for someone else’s good. In the program I am starting to love-myself.”
We are going to make a mental decision right now to let God, as we understand God to be, to guide us and instruct us on how best to love ourselves. Wait, listen and follow the promptings of the Spirit.
SOURCES: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of the Twelve Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
Depressed Anonymous Manual and Workbook ( HOME STUDY KIT). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
Depressed Once-Not Twice.(2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications Louisville.
“This is the biggest challenge for those of us who are depressd. I need to get busy with whatever is in front of me. I can panic about the fears that cross my mind and throughout the day. I also know that just as I have had some good days in the past, these are going to be there for me again. I know its irrational to think that this sadness will last forever. When I start to spiral downward in my own sadness and self-pity I need to reach out and try to call a member of the group or my sponsor. Help is there if I want it. (Help for most of us is located in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd ed., (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.)
Do I really want to get well? I will do more for myself by facing the fears that scare and panic my mind, than to run from them and hide in the comfort of not having to change the way I think, feel and live out my life. Today, I am choosing to accept the fact that I am depressed and my admission of this fact may be the beginning of my healing.”
God, today let us accept the fact that we have usd our depression to keep from facing our own insecurity and that now, with your help, we will discover new ways to free ourselves from all those bars that imprison us in our depression.”
source: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days/June 11.
One of the best ways to overcome a difficulty is to be part of a group where others like ourselves are facing the pain and sharing ways to escape the prison of depression. Read the book (Depressed Anonymous) that is being used by many to help release themselves and others from feeling worthless and unacceptable. By going one step at a time you will learn, what many of us have learned and have utilized, that life only gets better. You have an opportunity to use the Home Study Program if there is no group in your locale. Who knows, you might want to start your own group.