I start my day with reflections from Higher Thoughts for Down Days, providing me with a spiritual and meaningful kick start for the hours to follow. This work, contains a daily Higher Thought affirmation, a meaningful reflection, and closes with an appropriate short meditation.
Some Depressed Anonymous groups use this daily Higher Thought for their group meeting discussion topic. In my effort to produce a meaningful daily reflection book for persons depressed, especially those of us who work a Twelve Step recovery program, I found this daily approach to be most therapeutic for those of us who are or were depressed and isolated.
Now those of us who like the electronic handheld Kindle ereader, Depressed Anonymous Publications has made available a new KINDLE version of Higher Thoughts for Down Days. Not only are you able to put the meditation for that day on your screen, you are able to scroll through and find that particular thought which has meaning for you today.
Higher Thoughts for Down Days starts your day off with a hopeful boost, be it by way of a hard copy of Higher Thoughts or a KINDLE version.
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I will use a notebook to chart my course, list how ech day goes, so that I can repeat the feelings or thoughts that have allowed me to feel I am becoming responsible for my activities.
“…there is one great advantage about seeing yourself as helpless and in the power of others. You don’t have to be responsible for yourself. Other people make all the decisions and when things turn out badly you can blame other people. And things always turn out badly. You know this. That’s why you always expect the worst.”
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
Truly, I know this is where the great scrutiny lies, being responsible for myself. If all I did was sit around and say poor me, and woe is me, I am not only making life tough on myself but I am also making life miserable for those around me. This is why I, as a writer and therapist, and one who has been depressed, knows that it is only when I get moving, even though I felt like death, that I began to feel better. No one will make me feel better. I will now make myself feel better. I want to enjoy this world. I am tired of the pain of feeling worthless. I don’t want to blame anyone for my problems because no one is making me live in the problem. I will live in the solution from now on. The solution for me is working my Twelve Step program of recovery.
Blame helps me to never have to look inside myself and ask myself how much of my present state of depression is due to the way I have learned to think about myself and my life? I am not in the blame game and so now I am willing to face the enemy and start the changing process.
Faith can move mountains. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. I believe this. Personal comment?
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. (1993, 1999). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Thought for February 6th. Pages 28-29.
My feelings get frozen for me when I am depressed. My face sometimes masks the feelings of despair that lurks in my whole being. I feel only the pain and hurt of yesterday. I say “I’ll do it when I feel better.” I never do it because that day never comes. I need to have a list of feeling words that will help me best get in touch with what I feel and desire. The words that describe the feelings are just that – words- but the words that I describe myself with are the same words that I have allowed to imprison me throughout my life.
The major feelings are mad, sad, glad and fearful. It is when I can name my feelings, feel them, that I can make some headway accepting that they are there and then deal with them. In the past, I fled from what was new and uncomfortable.
In the spiritual life, I find that God is there whether I feel its presence or not. What I know is that there is some grand design for this universe and for myself. I am in debt to its plan and to its process. Right now, as I yield to its desire for my life (it’s desire is my desire). I will and I can find a way out of my depression. Even though I fear that I might lose something of myself, my very self, if I trust, just the opposite can happen. I will gain a new life filled with hope and a new way of feeling alive.”
SOURCES: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. January 11.
Copyright(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
I am taking full responsibility for myself and I am making a commitment to my own health and healing.
“Now that we have learned that we have to take care of ourselves and our recovery that we begin to look at the way we think and feel. Even though we don’t want to blame ourselves for having been depressed most of our lives, we know now that we are responsible for finding a way out of this depression. We can’t blame it on our genes, hormones or a chemical imbalance.
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
I am aware for the first time since I have been working my program that my thinking is cyclical in that my negative thoughts constantly keep going around and around in circles. I have found that I need to stop the negative self-destructive thinking that has dogged me most of my life. I am able to break the cycle of hurt and my own self-inflicted pain and come to my senses. I do have some good things going for me and I plan to use these good character traits as building blocks for a future filled with hope.
I am learning to take good care of myself. I am more interested in my own self-care than I am of what others around me want or need. I am not being selfish as much as I am being concerned about my own growth and development. In the Third Step we declare that “we made a decision to turn our wills and our minds over to the care of God as we understand God. To be in the care of someone means that they are concerned about us and are burdened with a concern for us.
“Restore our fortunes, O God, like the torrents in the southern desert that those that sow in tears shall reap rejoicing. Although they go forth weeping, carrying the seed to be sown, they shall come back rejoicing, carrying their sheaves. ” Psalm 126.
SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.