A red thread, a beautiful tapestry, patterns and God’s will.


Some of us, in groups and individually, work the Steps according to the month. What this means is  when April 1st (4th month) arrives, we start spending quality  time studying  our  Step #4. This Step states that we “Made a fearless moral and searching inventory of ourselves.”  For many  of our members, myself included, we  use our Depressed  Anonymous Workbook in conjunction with our Depressed Anonymous book to discover  the patterns  of our lives that keep us from being our best selves.  The patterns have formed habits and these habits can end up becoming  addictions. Could it be that these  patterns  of our thinking, feeling   and  behavior keep us imprisoned in our depression? Is it now that we feel we are continually circling around in that morass of hopelessness and helplessness? Like any addiction, we feel there is no way out.

It is here   I  want to quote  from  Maria von Trappe  (Maria of musical The Sound of Music) who shared this thought:

“It will  be very interesting one day to follow the pattern of our life as it is spread out like a beautiful tapestry …. in looking back we can discover how a red thread goes through the pattern of our life: the will of God. ”  Quoted in  the Publication: Give us this day. Liturgical Press. Collegeville, MN. March 26,

As I   examine my life,   attempting  to discover  that red thread, I have found that there actually is a red thread   moving through my life tapestry.  The red thread  is there   for me and it is like looking into a rear view mirror showing me where I have been on this life journey.  There are these life patterns  consistently appearing  during the good times and the tough times of our lives.  Even a pattern in which I see life as   difficult and  the world a dangerous place. Many of these negative patterns and  fearful thoughts may start in our childhood and gradually become  even more pronounced as  patterns. But that red thread continues  its weaving through  our life   tapestry into   our adult lives.  For some the red thread   moves  forward along with a pattern of pessimism, while  providing us at the same time with  hope. And as I look over my own past life, I see that my negativity,   always following   me  into most of my relationships. Now as I   look at the whole life tapestry as part of my fourth step inventory, stretching as it does from birth to this day, I am able to see patterns which have formed over time, crippling and making feel less than. But even during the painful times I can still see that that red thread, the will of God, has always been there operating in my life, accompanying  me on my life journey, invisible, but still there  like the silent whisper of the wind, providing  me with hope.   Now I can see that the red thread  hasn’t just formed,  it has been there as for long as I can remember.  My present belief in a power greater than my depression is gradually setting me free. Today. Everyday.

I  know  how some Depressed Anonymous groups  work this  Fourth Step Study  on an ongoing basis. For example, there  are International Depressed Anonymous Skype Group meetings  who come together everyday of the week on the Internet.  You can access these group meeting  by going to https://join.skype.com and then signing in at 2019depanon@hotmail.com. The leader for  the meeting that day will sign you up and you can join the group. Meetings start at 12:30 PM Central Standard time and 1:30 Eastern Standard PM time.

Look back on your life up to today and see if you can recognize how that red thread weaving through your own life, no matter how difficult, how despairing, it is  the fact that    God has always been there with us and we gradually come to believe that He will always be there with us. And as a member of Depressed Anonymous I want  to share with others how that red thread never abandoned me or deserted me, no matter how bad things became.  And so when you do your inventory you too will discern that it has always been God’s will that the hope he provides will free you.








“If there is a God, let Him show Himself !”


“When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.

My depression deepened  unbearably, and finally it seemed to me as though I were at the very  bottom of the pit.  For the moment, the  last vestige of my proud obstinacy  was crushed.  All at once I found myself crying out, “If there is a God, let him show himself! I am ready to do anything, anything.!”

Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. It seemed to me, in the mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain  and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing.  And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy  subsided. I lay on the bed,  but now for a time I was in another world,   a new world of consciousness.  All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, “So this is the god of the preachers!”

SOURCE:  Bill W., As Bill Sees It.  Page 2.  “In God’s Hand.”  (The above quote is from Alcoholics Anonymous, P.100.)


Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it “God – consciousness.”

Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic (or a person with depression) capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.

We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man  in everlasting ignorance — that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”



Source: AA Big Book. Page 184. THIRD EDITION 1976.


In an effort to promote a spiritual sixth sense in ourselves as is discussed in Alcoholics Anonymous, we find that what is applicable to one addiction is also applicable to all  addictions. One enlarges their  personal  belief that there is a Force in our universe  which is bigger than ourselves. And as Step Three states in Depressed Anonymous , “We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God to be.”

“As God’s people we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl  before anyone.” AA Big Book (p.83).

”  We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the  way of weakness.  Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage.  They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, though us, what He can do.  We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us to be.  At once, we commence  to outgrow fear.”

AA  Big  Book, page 68.

“Joel Goldsmith a spiritual writer contends that the more we gain  this consciousness of God’s presence you have the whole secret of success in every walk of life.” He continues to remind us that  “there is an invisible bond between all of us. We are not on earth to get from one another, but to share those spiritual treasures which are of God.  Our interest in each other is, in truth purely spiritual. Our purpose in life is the unfolding of the spirit within..” (Goldsmith, Joel. The Infinite Way. Pages 145-146).


“Much  has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have became God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action.”  AA Big Book (p.85).

“…We now believe that we can tap into this God consciousness and let it unfold its plan, its purpose and mission for our life. It will not plan something small and insignificant but will, by small steps, lead us, cause to unfold in our lives what it has for us to accomplish”  I’ll do it when I feel Better. (p.45).

If we stick to the spiritual plan that God gradually reveals to us in the quiet moments of our reflection and meditation we can grab hold of the power of the Twelve Steps –integrating each one of the Steps into our consciousness –and moving out of the dark into the light. To accomplish this saving process of recovery we recommend the HOME STUDY PROGRAM and/or a Depressed Anonymous in one’s own community.