Category Archives: Choice

Choice, Faith, Fellowship, Isolation, Journaling, Mindfulness, The 12 Steps

My Feelings Are Becoming Unfrozen

January 4, 2020 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

“I pray that God will give me the courage to live today with hope – hope that God’s leading will take me past the dead end of despair.

If we want to live life fully we must have freedom, love and hope. Life must be an uncertain business. This is what makes it worthwhile.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I know how the feelings of depression, and the deadness and greyness of my sadness keep me holed up in the narrow confines of my dark past. Today my feelings are gradually becoming unfrozen as I attempt new things, new connections with other persons. These cause me to reconsider that a life lived in unpredictableness is a risky but nevertheless a healthy way to live my life.

Since I hold on to the belief that since bad things happened to me in the past, bad things will happen to me in the future. I need to live each new day with the belief that I can change the way I think, feel and act. I know now that I am not mentally ill nor am I losing my mind when I am depressed. I want to live just for today to try to learn how to face the uncertainties of today. Life is unpredictable . To have any certainty that it will be other than that is clearly an illusion, and for sure one is being set up for many a disappointment.

MEDITATION

We see that it is only in risking., that is, getting a different map, a map that shows a number of different routes instead of the one that leads us down the road to narrow isolation and despair. I ask the God of my understanding to lead me according to it’s guidance. Hopefully the road that leads to hope and serenity.

RESOURCES

(C) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications . Louisville. KY. (January 5th).

Check out VISIT THE STORE for more material that can be ordered online.

Choice, Compulsion, Fellowship, Isolation

Keeping the dance going: A metaphor

December 30, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

When I was depressed (for over a year) I got hooked up with a dance partner who continually stepped on my feet. I knew that stopping the dance was my only way out. I imagined if I could learn a little more about the dance and the proper step sequence things would turn out better for me.

The more I tried to think things out, try different step sequences the worse things got. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs and carefully watching each foot as it lifts to go from one level to the next. It’s a strange feeling as our mind and body become frozen from what is normally an automatic sequence. We don’t even think about the fact that our feet are taking the steps up one at a time.

From my own experience with this circular dance I learned that the more I thought about why I was doing what I was doing the more my partner (my physical body) came to a standstill. My mind went round and round over a sequence, which I was hoping would free me. Instead, the dance stopped. I left the dance floor (my world) and retreated into my own little life surroundings, going over and over again , completely obsessed with trying to figure out a dance sequence, with a result, like the wrestler’s “body slam” which flattened and pinned me to the floor. No matter how hard I tried to figure out what went wrong, the more this circular dance tightened it’s grip on my thinking, my body and everything else that had made me an active part of my world, friends and future. I am all alone.

In the Depressed Anonymous Publication, I’ll do it when I feel better, we read

“We all know that any addictive /compulsive type of behavior gradually removes you from the regular activities of persons around you, including family, friends and coworkers, until you are established in the narrow confines of pain and isolation. We are always going to be just a little more isolated the more we try to think our addiction through in the circle of our own thoughts. ”

Copyright(c) I’ll do it when I feel better., 2nd edition. Hugh M. Smith (2018) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. Page 61.

Belief, Choice

I am going to make a list of my strengths today!

December 21, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

I am going to make a list of my strengths today.

“Practicing these principles keeps us in tune on a daily basis with the God as we understand God, and helps us keep our hope strong enough so that we can move away from our compulsion to sad ourselves.”

—Depressed Anonymous

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

These principles refer to the Twelve Steps and the fellowship of our group which helps us keep the focus on ourselves and our daily need to improve ourselves. My hope gets stronger when I find myself being less compulsive about the affairs of my life and more conscious of how I need to believe that God is going to help me walk out of my prison of depression.

Our lives revolve around principles – some good and some not so good. One of the principals formerly guiding my life was that I was only a passive victim of my depression. My belief was that there was nothing that I could do in my power to change my life. A new and exciting principle is replacing the old and that principle is that I am choosing to feel better. I am now going to be an active participant in my own program of recovery using the Twelve Steps. I am finding my strength grows as I believe in my own resources and talents.

MEDITATION

God, you are the creator of all spiritual principles that promote healing, sanity and serenity. Please let us place these principles of healing and hope first in our lives today. (Personal comments)

RESOURCES

(c) Higher Thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY.

NOTE: These excellent publications and more can be ordered online from the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore at www.depressedanon.com.

A Spanish edition Depressivos Anonimos is now available for ordering online.

Acceptance, Choice, Fellowship, Higher Power, Mindfulness

There is hope for you now

May 21, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

“One of the most important things to remember in the midst of depression is that it won’t last forever, that there is hope for you to begin to feel better. We won’t tell you to SNAP OUT OF IT (who have never experienced depression) like other folks, because we are not turning something on and off like a water faucet. Just as it took years to get where you are now, it takes time to get better and air out your sad thoughts as well.” D. Rowe

I know that in our program of recovery we try and live one day at a time. This is not easy for someone who usually wants to know the outcome for something that might happen ten years from now, not to mention the need to try and make right something not done properly ten years from our past. When I work my program I want to work on myself, finding serenity in knowing that in time and with patient work I can begin to feel better. There are just too many success stories of how people get better when they work their Twelve Step recovery program.

Forever is a word that hardly is heard in a Depressed Anonymous meeting. I intend to try and live just for today. I accept that I am depressed but that I do have a choice to find my way out of this sadness. I also believe that it is irrational to think that this sadness can last forever. The more I change the way I think and behave the more positive will my attitude be about my recovery.

MEDITATION

Our Higher Power, or our God as we understand God, is guiding and leading us toward a life free from sadness. We intend to place more of our trust in its hands. (Personal comments).

RESOURCES

(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

Note. To discover more literature about depression and recovery please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore at VISIT THE STORE. All literature can be ordered online.

Choice, The 12 Steps

People have the seeds of their own recovery within themselves

March 12, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

” Having spent time researching causes of, and vulnerability to depression, I know that I was a prime candidate for the disorder. The person typically diagnosed as depressed is likely to be a married woman who is also a mother, and beset with practical problems.: Children, interpersonal relationships, and spouse concerns. What I learned from my own depression and recovery and try to practice when working with clients, is that people have the seeds of their own revival within them. I want to ask the right questions so that people can hear what they say, recognize what changes they want to make, and how they can choose to make them. Specific time limits are met, and I prefer to focus initially on people making changes in their behavior, rather than mood. I explain that although the depressed mood colors the whole world, it has not been shown to be causally related to improvement, whereas behavior has.

When clients know that there are specific and tangible things they can do, they begin to experience an immediate upswing. A specific time limit is often motivating. People begin to see themselves making positive changes in their behavior, and can begin to change attitudes about themselves. They begin to see themselves controlling aspects of their environment, and as this happens, helplessness and hopelessness begin to dissipate and self- esteem level rises proportionally. People see themselves to be improving as a result of their own efforts. Nothing can be more rewarding to a depressed person.”

Sources: Wounded Healers. V. Rippere. Pages 86-87.

The Antidepressant Tablet Vol. 2:3 Spring 1991.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

Acceptance, Choice, Step 04, The 12 Steps

I Can’t Make A Decision!

February 7, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

I make a decision today to read one of the newsletters listed at the Newsletter Archives on this website (www.depressedanon.com.) or the BLOGS from the past week.

“Psychiatrists regard a person’s statement, ‘I can’t make a decision’ as a symptom of an illness, when really it is a reasonable effective defense…if you are trying to shut out all the matters which you find uncontrollable, threatening and confusing, you cannot give those matters the careful scrutiny they need if you are to make a decision about them. They create such turmoil in our mind that you decided that it is best to not decide. You can say ‘I am depressed. I cannot make my decision.’ Spending the day with the blanket over your head is as much a result of a decision as is going out and facing the world.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Most times when I am depressed, I don’t want to think about changing anything. Everything is hopeless and useless anyway so why try and use all that mental energy to sort it all out. This is the type of thinking that continues the fuzziness and the confusion. It is a refuge from having to do something. about where I am today.

But when I decide that I’ve had enough, I get my dander up and declare to myself, and really to the world around me, that I am going to play my cards differently. This is a good place to begin working on the Fourth Step, that “I will make a fearless and moral inventory of myself.”

Meditation

God help us change what needs to be changed today and let us know what it is and what is OK with us as well. Help us sort out the fog and fuzziness of our mind so that your guidance will create in us a desire to help ourselves.”

SOURCES: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. February 7th.

Depressed Anonymous , 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

I’ll do it when I feel better. (2018) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

Choice, Fellowship

The “noise” of my depression decreases…

November 17, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

I accept and believe that however hopeless everything appears right now, I will make a decision to recover from my depression. I am not helpless. I will make a choice to get better.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT.

The “noise” of my depression decreases the more I am able to share my feelings of anxiety, hurt and helplessness with others. I am not going too far to say that “all my sadness is gone,” but I am saying it seems to help to talk about my fears and anxieties. I can do this sharing within a Depressed Anonymous group, by journaling or talking with my sponsor. I am noticing that my life improves in relationships, the more that I force myself to get connected with others who are suffering from depression just as I am.

I accept myself now that I feel that I am depressed. I now have a definite way out of my sadness. I don’t have to be this way all my life, I tell myself. I believe that I can accept the fact of the way that I feel and that I can choose to feel something other than the misery of my sadness. I am no longer going to run and hide whenever something or someone appears on the horizon of my life that I don’t like. I accept the fact that I am going to choose to feel better today. I am going to spiral up instead of down.

Meditation

God, you created us with strengths and a predisposition of sorts that set us up to be a depressed person. We can’t choose the family we are born into, but we can choose to find out how to get in touch with those persons who seek health, our 12 Step family of Depressed Anonymous.

Personal comments

Source: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Kentucky . Page 228.

Please VISIT THE BOOKSTORE here for more helpful literature on ways to use the 12 Steps to overcome depression. Orders online are possible.

Choice, Fellowship, Focus, Mindfulness, The 12 Steps

If there is one thing that you crave when you are depressed it is certainty

September 1, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

I am willing to live in the imperfect moment and focus on the now, not yesterday’s now or tomorrow’s now.

“So it is if we are to make changes in our lives we must be courageous. Such courage can be found relatively easily in two kinds of situations. When we are certain that the new situation in which we shall find ourselves will bring us every advantage and happiness; when we are certain that the situation we are leaving is totally and absolutely bad.

Thus if the new situation promises perfection, or if the old situation is totally imperfect, we have certainty, and if there is one thing you crave when you are depressed, it is certainty. ” Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

My thinking always had been very black and white when I was depressing myself. I know that if I want to continue to live in uncertainty, in time, my depression will also be left behind me in the darkness of yesterday, as I live in the light of today.

The only certainty that I have today is that I want to free myself from the attachment that I have to sadness. I must be willing to risk giving up the certainty that my life will always remain the same. I know that it is only by living with some uncertainty, that my life can be lived with any hope.

MEDITATION

Today, we pray for the courage to remove as much fear from our lives as possible. We pray that God will let us live with the conviction that our lives can be one without fear of people, places, or situations. We believe that once we begin to live without the every present need for certainty in our lives that our fears can be diminished.

(Personal comments: See March 12, 2015 in the Archives of the Blogs.)

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. September 1.

Choice, Fellowship, Higher Power, Hope

The 12 Steps are my North Star

July 30, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“Depressed Anonymous means hope -as long as you want to get out of the pit of depression just start to believe that little voice which says “Yes, I am hopeful. I will feel better too.” The other members of Depressed Anonymous give me hope. Others have made it out of the deep lonely pit of depression and so can I. I choose to be happy even if I don’t feel happy right away. I am going to risk feeling different from this wretched sadness that I feel all the time. I have nothing to lose – except my fear of the future.

But with OUR new way of living and thinking, we are going to stay in the NOW. We know tomorrow produces anxiety and fear. Yesterday is there with all the old hurts and anger. All I have is the now! If I live in the now, I can begin to stay out of yesterday with all its old wounds and hurts and resist living in tomorrow with its unknown problems. Negative thoughts about our past or those tomorrow can numb our feelings so that we don’t have to feel the pain of whatever it is that isolates us from the world around us. We also admit, like any one person addicted to a person, place, thing, chemical or drug, that our lives are out of control. We have to admit that by depressing ourselves, we have chosen saddening ourselves as our drug of choice. We medicate ourselves with sadness any time we might have to change the way we live our lives. Sometimes, our depression over sadness arises out of guilt as we continue to turn our personal mistakes into giant catastrophes -this continues to make us feel as if we are nothing and valueless. This all adds to our frustration and the feeling of our being out of control. We know that if we just give up our struggles against depression and admit our powerlessness over it we can begin to surrender to our Higher Power and practice letting go of it. I can decide that I want to feel good again. I can decide that I want to feel happy and put this constant sadness and hollowness behind me once and for all. I know that no longer will I have to retreat or flee from these sad feelings and escape with sleep, over activity or drugs. I know that whenever my sadness seems unending, I then just admit that I am not helpless and that I can do something about it because I have the tools (see Tools of Recovery at Menu) and I can learn the skills that I didn’t know were available to me before. Now I am deciding to think, act and behave differently much to my personal credit and new found trust in the Higher Power. I am a sailor who sees the land, knows the right direction and does the rowing to get where I want to get. The Twelve Steps are my compass…”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (1998, 2008, 2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. Pages. 34-35.

Choice

Attitude is everything

June 21, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

I saw Jerry six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?”

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”

“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness? ” I asked.

Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great! They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes I read, ‘He’s a dead man.’ “I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctor and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathe and yelled, ‘bullets!’ Over their laughter, ‘I told them I am choosing to live.’ Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude , after all, is everything.

Personal note:

You have two choices now:

Delete this from your mail box (brain).

2. Choose to live

+Hope you will choose choice #2.

(This item has been picked up from the internet and forwarded around the system many, many, many times.)

We believe that what we think, what we say, and what we do impact our depression. We believe that depression can be managed by applying the principles of the 12 Steps. All are welcome!

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We believe that what we think, what we say, and what we do impact our depression. We believe that depression can be managed by applying the principles of the 12 Steps. All are welcome!