Category Archives: Gratitude

Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Gratitude, Helpful Thinking, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps, The Promises

The rear view mirror as a metaphor for our recovery path

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How many times does it happen that we make a review of our personal recovery progress within our Depressed Anonymous fellowship? In a sense, it is like looking backward in our rear view mirror, taking a closer look at our recovery path,an inventory,if you will, of our positive and negative areas of our life. All with the belief, that our willingness, honesty and openness to that power greater than ourselves to change for the better, we make the choices to change, and live with serenity.

My memories of that first time that I walked through the door of recovery, is still fresh in my mind. This was the beginning of the journey of hope for myself and for all of us. Now, many years later, or maybe just a few months later , it is in looking back, that we can see that our lives have been changing, for the better, Sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly. We now live in hope, one day at a time.

We can see the way it was, and the way it is now, the difference between night and day. We are living in the light of hope, and with work, prayer and a loving fellowship that continues to embrace and fortify us for the journey ahead, we are grateful.

A member of another fellowship share, how “it was hard or impossible to recognize or appreciate the slow going of his recovery to see his his progress, until long after they took place. Looking back, THROUGH HIS REAR VIEW MIRROR he celebrates all the important and astounding things that HAVE happened to him in recovery.”
Please continue to move forward and then take a look now and then and give thanks and be grateful for where you are standing today.

Hugh, for the fellowship

A paraphrased quote From the Grapevine Daily Quote.Fort Worth Texas, November 2006, Where’s the miracle?, Step by Step. Submitted by Robin R.

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Affirmations, Belief, Choice, Community building, DA Literature, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Hope, I'll Do It When I Feel Better, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

One of the great paradoxes of human life…

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DECISION 12 : “I will learn to share my sadness with others and to share their sadness.” Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds. Understanding depression, Finding Freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Page 271.

“One of the great paradoxes of human life is that, in the way that we are born and die and in between create our own unique world of meaning, we are always atone, yet the only way that we can live with the essential aloneness is to share our life with other people.” Page 271.

Dear Reader, this concludes our journey of how to Leave Loneliness Behind. By making the 12 Decisions our own, and living out these truths as presented to us by Dorothy Rowe, we can leave loneliness behind.
I give total credit to Dr. Rowe, psychologist, for her wisdom, that she shares with us here in BREAKING THE BONDS.
Jill Tweedie. a reviewer, tells us that the writer Dorothy Rowe, is the “light at the end of the tunnel.” If you make that decision to read this work, I know you will agree.

Hugh S.

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Affirmations, DA Literature, Gratitude, Helpful, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Stress, The 12 Steps

I will learn how to receive a gift generously

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DECISION 10: Receiving a gift.
“IF you determine that the gift does come with the unstated message of obligation you then have three choices;
1. You can accept the gift as you always have, and not feel guilt, anger and obligation.
2. You can state the unstated message to the giver and say that you cannot accept such a gift. To do this you must completely abandoned your belief that you must never upset anyone ever and have developed some competence in dealing with upset people.
3. You can accept the gift as if it is a free gift, ignore the obligation, feel happy and enjoy the gift. To do this you must have given up being an expert in being good and have developed a competence in doing things which are not wholly admirable but are immensely enjoyable.

If you determine that the gift does come as a free gift, given out of love and concern, then yugo must receive it with the same generosity with which it was given. Let yourself feel joy, not guilt. Don’t say “Oh, you shouldn’t have.’ Say ‘It’s wonderful. I love it, and give the giver a hug and a kiss. All we want when we give a fee gift is to see the other person’s happiness.
Sometimes what gets in the way when we want to enjoy a gift is our envy.”

Dorothy Rowe, Breaking the Bonds. Understanding Depression, Finding freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Pages 209-210.
Dorothy Rowe is The author of BREAKING THE BONDS of the Twelve Decisions, contained in the chapter, LEAVING LONELINESS BEHIND, Pages 238-279.

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Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Leaving Loneliness Behind (4) – Dismantling the Barriers

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DECISION 4. “i will be interested in the other person.”

“The best gift that you can give another person is to take an interest in them.”

Taking the other peron seriously, means being concerned about what they are concerned about. Remember little things about your new friend. Ask, if they life to read? Do they prefer Fiction or non-fiction? Do they like to go to movies? What are their hobbies?

You have to listen to another person to really know one. Seem simple enough? Be sure and share some of the things that you like to do with your free time.
People feel good when someone wants to know something about them.”

Reader. Please add something in your own life that you like to talk about with new friends. Do you like to share things which you are proud of in your life?

Tomorrow: (5) Leaving Loneliness Behind. I WILL improve my skills in Listening and asking questions. This is my way to get to know the other person.

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Community building, Courage, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Purpose, Service, Step 12

Service in Recovery

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Today I’m truly grateful to be able to do service in my 12 step fellowships. Especially in DA, which has done so much for me. But I didn’t always feel that way about service! At first, I was very scared to make a commitment to chair a meeting. How could I, someone suffering from depression, someone unable to function successfully in daily life, someone who didn’t know if I could get out of bed or not on a particular day, how could I possible make a commitment to chair a meeting? Well, the group supported me and said “we’ll be here if you can’t make it. Just let us know! And we applaud you for being willing!” So I agreed. I also faced technology challenges. At the time the DA meetings were using Skype and I didn’t know how to use that platform (or any online meeting platform, for that matter).  So on a day and a time when a meeting was not going on, I logged on and pretended to chair a meeting. I went for a practice run to learn the technology. I asked someone for help, and they helped me. I faced my fears and I showed up for the first meeting that I volunteered to chair. I stumbled. But the meeting went on, and no one died! I made a mistake and it was okay.

I had feelings of anxiety, but I walked away with an inkling of a sense of purpose. So I kept chairing, and that sense of purpose increased. I started going to business meetings, and they needed people to do service there too. So I volunteered. As I continued, I felt more useful and my confidence grew.

The point I’m trying to make is that doing service has greatly helped my recovery! I learn lessons here in DA that I’m applying to other areas of my life. I’m growing. That is one of my goals – to stay green and growing. Doing service gives me that opportunity. And the icing on the cake is that doing service allows us to help DA as a whole and ensure that DA will be there for others who need it, just like I needed it and still need it.

In closing, the Responsibility Statement, revised for DA:

“I am responsible – when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of DA always to be there, and for that: I am responsible.”

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12 Step Meeting, Community building, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful Thinking, Mutual Aid, Prayer, Purpose, The 12 Steps

What is an emotional laryngitis condition?

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Have you ever experienced laryngitis, that inflammation of the larynx, often accompanied by a temporary loss of your voice. Most probably you have have had that experience. It’s more of a nuisance than anything. But nevertheless, a problem that lingers around for a short time. This is a case which if you want to be heard, you have to whisper really loud.

Now how about your experience with an emotional laryngitis condition, a metaphor for being unable to voice unpleasant feelings, which causes you to be stuck in the dark pit of depression.

To experience an emotional loss of your voice, usually starts at a young age. You remember the saying, “Children should be seen and not heard.” And as it works out, that is precisely what happened to so many of us growing up. We lost our voice. We couldn’t share our feelings of hurt and loss.
We stuffed our feelings. We buried the pain of growing up, where we felt abandoned and unloved. We tried to forget about them. Which we did. Buried in our unconscious.

When we wanted to have a grownup, a parent, a family member listen to what we had to say, nobody cared what we had to say. We felt invisible. Also, to cry was forbidden. The message that we heard was “Little boys don’t cry.” Or, “just get over it.” Or, “suck it up.”

I remember on one occasion, standing near my mom and dad, I tried to tell them something. They ignored me. I remember feeling hurt that they didn’t want to listen to me. Strange, it was that one time which I do remember and I still wonder why I remember that one time. Does this mean my voice was always heard and that this time was an exception? I don’t know.

How often do I hear adults tell me HOW their home life was chaotic, filled with anger and fighting parents.
Usually, it was because of one or both of the parents were alcoholics and they NEVER wanted or even suggested, that they wanted to know how we felt or what was happening in our lives. In fact, our whole family didn’t want to hear from us. They never seemed to make time for us in their lives. We didn’t feel safe, and definitely we did not feel love. And what do we do? We began to hide, isolate ourselves creating our own little fantasy worlds. We wanted to have someone hear our voice. But there was never anyone that would listen to how we were feeling. We were the lost child.

Fast forward. As adults now, we discovered we have been addicted to alcohol, or opioid or gambling.or pornography. Anything to remove the pain.The core of all of these addictions, both substance and process addictions, were my attempt to fill the hole in my soul. Not only had we lost our voice, but we almost lost our lives. We lost the purpose for our lives. Not being able to tell people who we are had robbed us of the one thing that might have saved me – my voice. I was too scared to use it.
I needed to tell my story. How I survived. I never wanted to lose my voice again. Today is a good day.

Not until I became an adult did I attend a Twelve Step Depressed Anonymous meeting. It was here that I would use my voice and tell total strangers about all the losses in my life. It is here, that all my feelings, both pleasant and unpleasant are voiced. They heard me. They heard my voice. They listened to me. They didn’t judge me. I had RECLAIMED my ability to use my voice. I could talk about my feelings. My worst life hurts could now be shared and voiced. i was no longer the lost child. No longer was I the victim, the martyr, a clown seeking attention. And, all the time seeking for someone to tell me that I was loved.

It is here that my emotional laryngitis, accompanying me throughout my life, would no longer keep me from voicing who I am and who I want to be. No longer were my feelings shut down and no longer was I invisible. I am here–deal with it!

If you, are having an emotional laryngitis condition, and need a way to use your voice, and share you feelings, then we have a group for you. We call ourselves the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. You will always be welcomed into our fellowship.

For more information about who we are, click onto our website at depressedanon.com. Attend our Depressed Anonymous daily group zoom meetings and begin to hear the voices of hope. Come and share your own VOICE.

Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, (3rd Edition) 2011. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky.

Hugh S., for the fellowship

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Faith, Gratitude, Step 02, Supportive Actions

Just in the nick of time

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Today, I was in search of a 12 Step facility, where a member of the Louisville, KY DA fellowship, and myself, were looking to start a face to face Depressed Anonymous meeting. The first meeting was to start and continue on every Tuesday of the month.

Not familiar with this part of town, I realized that I was lost. So, having landed in a large shopping mall, and not knowing my around in this area, I stopped and asked a guy heading into a grocery store. The conversation went like this:

“Hey,” I said, “do you know where a large Bingo Hall is located down this way? I’m looking for a facility that is adjacent to this building, an AA Club house. Can you help me?”

“Well, sure” he answered. “It’s about three stop lights down the road. You can’t miss it.”

I thanked him, telling him that I didn’t want to lose my serenity, and he answered, “or your sobriety.”

I found the place, went in, got a cup of coffee, and started to look around. Just about this time, a man walked into the lobby. Surprised, I was sure he was the same guy that had given me directions.

“Oh, good,” he said, “you made it. I just wanted to make sure that you did make it. I would have felt bad if you hadn’t.”

I thanked him for his help. I asked his name. “Nick” he said. “I come to meetings here and I live right across the road.” I told him my name and I hoped we would meet again. I feel sure that we will.

For myself, who was lost, he showed up, just in the NICK of time. With all the people I could have asked for directions, my Higher Power made sure it would be a friend of Bill W., who would have us meet.

There will be more to this story, I am sure, but it hasn’t been revealed to me yet. I do remember, we are on God’s time, and God is always on time.

Hugh S., for the fellowship

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Belief, Community building, DA Literature, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Higher Power, Mutual Aid, Step 01, Step 06, Step 12

Lois, wanted to get rid of her pain

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“It was December of 1992 that I made that decision. I know that I was powerless over depression and that my life had become unmanageable. I was willing g to do anything that Depressed Anonymous offered. I wanted to get rid of the pain. If Depressed Anonymous had told me that I would get well if I stood on my head three times a day, I would have done it. Daily, I read from the book and consciously worked the Twelve Steps. I worked them one Step at a time, from Step One through Step Twelve. Working the Steps to me meant posting the Step I was working on and consciously pondering it throughout the day.”

Our friend and member of our fellowship, Lois, continues to share with us her story and her experiences as a member of Depressed Anonymous.

“I no longer experience those black, bleak, and hopeless periods. My life is joyful. Then why do I continue to go to Depressed Anonymous meetings five years later? The Twelfth Step of this program “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principle in all of our affairs.” I am so grateful to Depressed Anonymous that I want to be there for those who are still suffering.
The final situation that brought me to my knees and to Depressed Anonymous has not improved. In fact, it appears to be deteriorating. Our book tells us(in the section which discusses Step Six) that many would no longer express themselves if they could be sure there wouldn’t be any more pain. No one can be promised a bed of roses without pain.

Today I view the situation as ‘unfolding’ and my spiritual journey is unfolding with it. My Higher Power is in charge.”

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous (2011) 3RD EDITION. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY Pages 110-111. Personal Stories.

All Depressed Anonymous publications can be ordered online. Check our our Depressed Anonymous Bookstore at Depressedanon.com.

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12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Affirmations, Community building, Depressed Anonymous, Gratitude, Love, Mutual Aid, Prayer, Service, Spirituality, The 12 Steps, The Promises

Won’t you be my neighbor?

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Remember that friendly greeting? Well, I do and so do my adult children and grandchildren. Even today, Mr. Rogers’ name and face is enshrined in each our memories. What a delight to see him come through the door, moving down a few steps into his living room, heading for the closet, where he cheerfully donned his sweater. All the while he’s singing “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, won’t you be my neighbor? Won’t you be my neighbor.” Then he sits down and puts on his gym shoes. We are now ready and excited to see our friends and neighbor(s) again today.

His neighbor’s became my neighbors, his friends became my friends.

Our day began with Mr. Rogers. Everyday started the same. Everyday was a new day, seeing a new friend or old friend, with lessons to be learned. It was a program that we looked forward to everyday. This relationship with Mr. Rogers continues today for our children and grandchildren. As an adult, I believe that Mr. Rogers neighborhood, all his friends helped my children, my family members all thrive on the goodness and respect that they witnessed day after day.

Mr. Rogers taught me a great lesson. The more I watched his program, the more I wanted to watch his program. I found that I had created a habit for myself, a daily listening with my children happily watching neighbors loving their neighbors. It was a habit I never wanted to break. I found that my thoughts, my feelings of goodness and happiness thrived within me as my attention was glued to the screen.

But as we grow older we discovered that there have been some habits in our lives that did not cause us to thrive. In fact, they caused us to spiral downward where we had fewer and fewer neighbors (friends) that were willing to help us thrive. The lessons Mr. Rogers had taught us early on in life had gradually faded. Now, today, we continue to look for those friends who will help us get back on our feet. I have learned to develop habits that help me to thrive upwards into a serene and healthy human being. In my recovery program of healthy daily living (God, and the 12 Steps). I now watch what I think about. I watch what I say, and I watch that I always show respect for others. I also watch that I speak to myself with respect and that I affirm myself everyday with the belief that God created me because of his love for me. God has a plan for me and is always with me to carry that plan forward for the good of myself and my neighbors.

I spend time, everyday, to pray and meditate (Step 10) as I make a conscious contact with my God. Everyday, every morning, always in the same place, the same time and in the same comfortable chair. In our program, it teaches us the importance of that daily relationship with our God.

Do you know who my neighbors are today? Let me tell you who they are and what happens when we meet. I meet with them as often as I am able. They help me thrive. Do they ever! I am part of a recovery program where all of us come together, meet old and new friends and learn life long lessons. We learn how to love ourselves and enjoy each other’s company. We learn lessons on how to live out our daily lives with hope and peace. Our lessons come from listening to others who have formed a habit, a habit of how to love their selves and their neighbors.
For more information, please click onto the Depressed Anonymous website at https://www.depressedanon.com.

Welcome neighbor.

Hugh S., for the fellowship.

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