Category Archives: Helpful Thinking

Acceptance, Belief, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Focus

BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 WAYS TO LEAVE THE PRISON OF DEPRESSION. ( SURRENDER AND WIN!)

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The First Way (#1) to leave the prison of depression: “WE ACCEPT AND BELIEVE THAT HOWEVER HOPELESS EVERYTHING APPEARS RIGHT NOW, WE WILL RECOVER FROM OUR DEPRESSION”

Often persons depressed give up the hope of feeling different. They can’t believe that they have the power to change the way they feel.  They don’t believe that they have a choice either to get well or to remain locked in the prison of depression.  This is why the belief coupled with the First Step of Depressed Anonymous, a Twelve Step mutual aid group, has a positive impact on one’s personal belief about the recovery process. The First Step of Depressed Anonymous states “We admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

First we have to admit that our lives are out of control. No matter how hard we have tried, we can’t shake this persistent hollow feeling that has us feeling hopeless and  helpless. This admission that we are powerless will begin to free us up and get us the help and support that we want. It’s a paradox. Surrender and win! The group doesn’t pass a magic wand over our head and suddenly you are freed of your symptoms of depression. In fact, the admission that we need help puts us in in contact with a step by step map which leads us out of the land of darkness into the land of light and hope.”

For more information see Literature reference

BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 WAYS TO LEAVE THE PRISON OF DEPRESSION. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.  Pages 1-2.

Choice, Higher Power, Step 01, Step 02, The 12 Steps

Made A Decision To Turn My Life And My Will Over To The Care Of God As I Understand Him

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AFFIRMATION

I admitted that I was powerless over depression -that my life had become unmanageable. I now choose freedom instead of security and place my trust and hope in God’s guidance and direction. Help me trust in you, O God.

REFLECTION

I know as I immerse myself in the program, the more I seek the security of not having to feel pain -not having to forgive and never getting angry, I will indeed have security, the security of the high walls of a prison. I will always be able to predict how I feel. It will never change. I was always told that by being good and trying to be as perfect as I could, I would be happy.  Somehow this doesn’t work. I have worked at being good, always doing my best, but I still ended up in the prison of depression. What went wrong?  For today I will choose to be someone different. I will call a friend and/or I will take a walk. I will begin to  work on myself, trusting that my God or Higher Power will begin to help me find a path out of this prison that I have constructed. Today. I will trust myself to trust the God of my understanding.

MEDITATION

We need today, to allow ourselves the opportunity to take responsibility for the way we think and feel. It is our responsibility to finally yield to God, to trust the God as we understand him and let him enter into our life. (Personal comments). Steps 1, 3.

Counseling, Spirituality

Late UN-breaking news!

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Wow!  How about that? Late UN-breaking news? Everywhere you go–it’s late breaking news. Come on folks.

I would be satisfied with more late UN-breaking news myself.  Put a trailer at the bottom of the screen and just let the late breaking news pass us by–like a watching the #17 bus head down the street. Well, anyway, I have some late UN-breaking news for you. As you can tell from the title of my BLOG, what I share here is pretty much your regular UN-breaking news. You know, like hey, if you are depressed have you ever considered doing this or trying that or whatever for your melancholia. By the way, that is what they used to call it–melancholia.   That is about as UN-breaking  as you can get. If you feel depressed,  paralyzed by fear, fatigue and purposeless in your life it might be the news for you to know there is hope. Maybe you know or don’t know that many times people who come into  counseling  for their symptoms of depression want relief–and they want it now. Not tomorrow–not next week–they want it now. Yes, that is what they want. So did I when my life was falling   apart. I couldn’t even put a label on what was happening  inside of me. I felt helpless. Hopeless. But the REAL BREAKING NEWS is that we have discovered, like millions before us, that once I began to believe in a Power greater than myself, my life gradually began to change. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t have the magic potion or the magic wand to all of a sudden remove   feelings of pain, anxiety, fear and lack of a desire to want to live. Let me share with you what we do have to offer.  We have a suggested solution. (This is really old news.)

In the coming days  I would like to share with you   my thoughts -solutions- about depression and its relationship to spirituality. What this means is  there a Power greater than yourself that you believe in?

Stay tuned for more UN-breaking news to come. I think what we have to offer will provide you with HOPE!

Belief, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Focus, Purpose, Spirituality

A Power Greater Than Ourselves: Our Go To Person

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A POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES: OUR GO TO PERSON

The more time that I spend in daily prayer and meditation the closer I feel to this Power greater than myself. Now, let’s be honest, it isn’t everyday that I feel this or think this way, but for most days I feel energized by my time in quiet listening. It was when I first joined a Twelve Step recovery program that I I knew that I was truly home. I had always been looking for a home where I could feel acceptance, nurturing and fellowship. It was at my first meeting, 32 years ago, that in all my brokenness, guilt and shame, that I felt I had made it home. It was here that I could reveal who I was, who I thought I was and get a plan for my life, just one 24 hour period at a time. My own feelings of being totally accepted in this new fellowship created in me the belief, without  doubt, that  sanity would be restored to me. How did I know this? What made me a believer? Simply the fact that the members of the group had pretty much the same story as my own. But for all of this, what stood out was the basic belief among all of the members, that there is a Power, and it is greater than me. And that this Power, whom we understand as God, is my GO TO person every day of my life. And the two things this group taught me early on,  is that THERE IS A GOD, AND IT IS NOT ME!

If today you are feeling alone, lost and frightened, please join me here everyday, as I speak about spirituality and the Power greater than myself,  and what it has to do with my recovery, and how it impacts  on our search for  that serenity that we are all seeking. Remember what you seek, seeks you!

Purpose, Serenity, The 12 Steps

I Even Tried To Control God!

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I THINK I WAS A CONTROL FREAK!

“If surrender of our wills to the ‘care of God’ is of the essence of the spiritual life, for anyone who truly desires to free him or herself from a chronic and compulsive behavior such as depression, the Twelve Steps can be your stepping stones to the path of a hope-filled life.” (8)

REFLECTION

My thinking is what has been keeping me depressed these many years.  I haven’t thought of myself as being addicted to sadness or that I might even be a saddict. Now the truth is becoming clear to me as I work the Twelve Steps and attempt to change the way  I think and feel. I  no longer want to be  a victim of my past, but I am becoming a person filled with hope and a new found zest for living. I am finding that my expectations for myself have decreased as my need to be perfect is yielding to a greater acceptance of myself as I am. Being perfect is such a bore. By letting go of my need for perfection it seems that my self-acceptance is beginning to grow.
One of the great freedoms I am experiencing  in my life today is that I don’t have to be in control of everyone’s life or behavior. One of my character defects has been a need to always have everything and everybody under my control. I have even tried to control God until I learned that it is only when I surrender to God that my life can be filled with hope and peace.
MEDITATION
We will no longer allow ourselves to continue to obsess about hiow bad our lives are when all we need to do is learn how to find our peace by allowing God to guide our will and our life on a daily basis. We don’t have to choose to live a life of misery –we can  make different choices which restores my sanity.

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days(c)

Fellowship, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

TODAY, I AM LIVING IN THE SOLUTION AND NOT THE PROBLEM. DO THE “WHAT IF’S” RULE YOUR LIFE?

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AFFIRMATION FOR TODAY, DECEMBER 27/ A HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY.

My serenity lies in my living in  the solution and not in the problem.

“…We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves…

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”  (8)

REFLECTION

I  am beginning to understand how this program of recovery works in my life. First of all, I learned that after a number of meetings, I was beginning to feel more hope for myself. I heard other older members of the group express the fact that the more they came to meetings, the more they began to learn how to live one day at a time and how to let go of all the fears and the “what if’s” that ruled their lives. Since the recovery program is a spiritual program, I have realized that I will be helped by my God as I understand him with whatever I need for my own growth in personal peace and harmony.

Before my eyes, I see lived out the promises for those who work the suggested Twelve Step program of recovery.  My belief in a power greater than myself is the priority of my life. I am  gradually  loosening the grip of sadness which once controlled my life.

MEDITATION

We keep the promises of God in our hearts which states that if we ask for anything it will be given to those who believe.”

I believe!

Fellowship, Purpose

BEST WAY TO EAT AN ELEPHANT?

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BEST WAY TO EAT AN ELEPHANT? ONE BITE AT A TIME!

AFFIRMATION

I will think only those   thoughts that today reinforce my self-worth!

“…try to live one day at a time as it’s a lot easier. As someone once said, if you want to eat an elephant the best way is one bite at a time.”

I desire to be part of God’s plan today by staying active in my own recovery from  depression. The more I give of myself without reservation to its leading, the more I am able to free myself from my feelings of isolation and deadening fear.

My fears keep me living in my tomorrows and in my past yesterdays. Fear is the foundation of my depression. I am becoming less fearful the more I attempt to live one day at a time and have this day lived with hope.

Thoughts leads to feelings, feelings lead to moods and moods lead to behavior. I want to think that my life will improve today by the active role that I am taking in my own recovery.

MEDITATIION

God, we believe that you will not allow me to receive more than I can handle.”

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step Fellowship Groups. (2014). Page 253.

Depressed Anonymous, Focus, Purpose, The 12 Steps

PRAY, BUT KEEP ROWING TO SHORE! GRAB AN OAR!

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Some days I feel like my life is like that small boat on the ocean. I watch as the swirling waves and the thunderous noise of waves and wind wash over me. I watch as my small boat takes on water. No land is in sight. What to do? I pray. Have you ever had these feelings of helplessness? Well, let me tell you, I have had this experience more than I would like to admit.
One time in my life, one very difficult time for sure, I thought that my boat was sinking and that there was no recourse –no land in sight. This is when that deadening feeling of melancholia (depression) –like the Pac Man arcade game – began to chew me up. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what exactly. The time to row, so to speak, was when I couldn’t get myself out of bed and knew that I had to get to land, get my body moving, the best way that I could. I had to keep rowing.
Gradually, by walking everyday, and forcing myself to do what I didn’t want to do, like exercise, I gradually regained my balance. And after a year of this activity (rowing) I began to notice that the wind howling around me gradually subsided. My boat was still afloat and I could see land. Safety. This all happened almost thirty years ago.
It was then that my 12 Step life began. Now, with each new day, before the sun pops up over the horizon, my day begins with prayer and the centering of my thoughts. In our program of recovery we call this a meditation experience. I then read the Higher Thoughts for this day. I also read the Depressed Anonymous book, plus entering thoughts in the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. All this is accomplished in that first hour of the day. I feel like I truly am now on solid rock. And it’s like I take these morning thoughts and with them begin my day. With Step Two … I “came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” So this morning, I continue to “make a decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as we understand God to be.”
Turning my life over to to the care of God doesn’t mean I lay back and see what God is going to do…no, it means that I do my work and God will do his. And so I keep on rowing. Grab an oar!

Belief, Focus, Step 01, The 12 Steps

Sadness Can Be Overcome By Hope!

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”  Remarkable things happen to us when we are willing to admit defeat and talk about our powerlessness over depression and how our lives had become un-manageable.  This first step is the beginning of the flight of steps that takes us up and into our new way of living.  At our fellowship of Depressed Anonymous we talk hope, we act hopeful, and we think hope. We learn that our thinking depressed and negative thoughts might have gotten us in the shape that we are in today. What you think is what you become.  For us who find sadness our second nature, we at times continue to revert to the comfort of old familiar negative thinking and are in actuality returning to self destructive behavior. Hope is overcome by sadness.”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous. Depressed Anonymous Publications.Page 107.

We all have heard the saying, seeing is believing. I prefer the reverse, namely, that believing is seeing. Once the newcomer arrives through the door of a Depressed Anonymous meeting for the first time, they will hear and see recovery in action.

Possibly for the first time the newcomer  to the DA group  will hear their story voiced by the various  members of the group. They will see that they are not alone.  They discover how their own sadness gets a positive  jolt as they  hear hope expressed in the  recovery group. It is easier to believe someone when they share the same conditions of isolation, and feeling hopeless that you feel.   In fact, in a group of people much like oneself, you begin to see that maybe, just maybe, there is hope for you as well.

Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Higher Power, Prayer, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

THE MYSTIC EXPERIENCE OF BILL W., CO-FOUNDER OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.

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Granted that this site is not about alcoholism but about depression. But let’s face it, many of those addicted to alcohol are also depressed. I think many depressed try and medicate the pain with alcohol and then end up with two conditions that they need help with. We call this a co-morbid addictive illness.
A few days ago I wrote about the “spiritual awakening” that gave Bill the jump start that he had to have in order to quit his drinking. For Bill it came down to either lose (surrender) his life to this mystic power or to the disease of alcoholism. After this special illumination of the hospital room and to his mind, he knew he could not continue his drinking.
Bill describes his thoughts about this epiphany in the following light:
I was the recipient of a tremendous mystic experience or “illumination” and at first it was very natural for me to feel that this experience staked me out as somebody very special.
But as I now look back upon this tremendous event, I can only feel very grateful. It now seems clear that the only special features of my experience were its suddenness and the overwhelming and immediate conviction that it carried.
In all other respects, however, I am sure that my own experience was essentially like that received by any A.A. member who has strenuously practiced our recovery program. Surely, the grace he received is also of God; the only difference is that he becomes aware of his gift more gradually. Source: AS Bill sees it.