Category Archives: Mutual Aid

Spiritual Kindergarten

 

“We are only operating a spiritual kindergarten in which people are  enabled to get over drinking and find the grace to go on living  to better effect. Each man’s theology  has to  be  his own quest, his own affair.”  Letter. 1954.

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“When the Big Book was being planned, some members thought that it ought to be Christian in the doctrinal sense. Others had no objection to the use of the word “God,” but wanted to avoid doctrinal issues. Spirituality, yes.  Religion, no. Still others wanted a psychological book, to lure the alcoholic in.  Once in,  he could take God or leave Him alone as he wished.

To the rest of us this was shocking, but happily we listened.  Our group conscience was at work to construct the most acceptable and effective book possible.

Every voice was playing its appointed part. Our atheists and agnostics widened our gateway so that all who suffer might pass through, regardless of their belief or lack of belief.”

A.A., Come of Age.

 

Who is in charge of your life? What and who is the source of your strength?

Good question. Bill W., co-founder of AA has an answer for us.

“The more we become willing to depend on  a Higher Power, the more independent we really are. Therefore, dependence as AA and all the other Anonymous groups practice it, it  is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit.

At the level of everyday living, it is startling to discover how dependent we really are, and how unconscious of that dependence.  Every modern house has electric wiring carrying power and light to its interior.  By accepting with delight our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves personally more independent, more comfortable and secure. Power flows just where it is needed.  Silently and surely, electricity, that strange energy so few people understand, meets our simplest daily needs.

Though we readily accept this principle of healthy dependence in many of our temporal affairs, we often fiercely resist the identical principal when asked to apply it as a means of growth in the life of the spirit. Clearly we shall never know freedom under God until we try to seek His will for us. The choice is ours.”   As Bill W., Sees It. Page 26.

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Our Big Book, which is a 12 step program of recovery  directs each of us on our path of personal recovery so that our mutuality of purpose as a fellowship ignites meaning for each of our daily lives.

The following is a quote from the Denise List, from the Therapist’s Views on Depressed Anonymous section in our Big Book. Page 27.

“The spiritual emphasis of Depressed Anonymous is its greatest strength. People come together and hear from one another how their Higher Power is healing and guiding their lives. They realize that being part of the group, they are not alone, and also  encourage true living. Depressed Anonymous has been a wonderful healing tool in the lives of many depressed persons  I’ve worked with.  It will always be one of the greatest resources I use in my work. It is true that ‘it works if you work it.’ ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

“We’ve got work to do.”

When my grandson  was  3 years old  and older he would always say “papa, we ‘ve got work to do. ”  When he would see me with a hammer in my hand or a can of paint and ready to work on some repair project around our house,   without fail he would always be willing to pitch  in and do his part. As a little guy he always seemed so much older than what he was because of his strong desire to help his papa. He is 19 today and now he is doing his own  work. But not surprising is his continued willingness to help me when he can. Now that I am in recovery, thanks to our Depressed Anonymous program of recovery  and  after these many  years,   I am still free from depression.  I attribute that  this freedom is due to what I did learn  when I was depressed and continue using these tools on  every basis. I have found  that it does take some work to get through the darkest periods of the depression. It also takes a supportive group of men and women who know what we know,  and feel what we have felt when depressed.

Every meeting that we attend, and every step that we take on the road of our recovery, we find the fog lifts, the desire  to live again returns. Not all at once–but in short spurts – the fog lifts and we feel the hope churning in our hearts and minds.  And at every Depressed Anonymous meeting we hear the following words read from HOW DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS WORKS.

“You are about to witness the miracle of the group. You are joining a group of people who are on a journey of hope and who mutually care for each other. You will hear how hope, light and energy have been regained by those who were hopeless and in a  black hole and tired of living.

By your involvement in the group we are feeling that there is hope – there is a chance for me too – I can get better. But we are not the people with the magic wand and the  easy formula for success. We believe  that to get out of the prison of depression takes time and work.

And so at each and every Depressed  Anonymous meeting the group listens as we hear  what it will take to escape  from the prison of depression. ”

Also, at every meeting of the fellowship we hear how by using the spiritual tools, our Twelve Steps, we can gradually find the path that will that can lead us out into the light of freedom. We come to believe that a power greater than ourselves  can restore us to sanity. And then we make a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God as we understand God.”

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Page  67.

PLEASE VISIT THE STORE for more info on depression and ways to free ourselves from the agony of sadness.

Go to Groups on Menu to see if there is a DA group in your State or LOCATED  outside the USA.

SURVIVAL IS TO MEET LIFE’S PROBLEMS HEAD ON!

AFFIRMATION

I am going to take a fearless and moral inventory of myself today and list on paper my strengths as well as my weaknesses, that is those characteristics in my life that might keep me fearful and depressed,

“Step Four and Five really have to be faced head-on if our depression is to go away. Steps Four and Five are all about cleaning house. We must square off with ourselves and begin the rooting out process that will in time, free us from our sadness and our identity as a depressed person. So often a person depressed is afraid, panic stricken really, in facing some issues that were never their fault in the first place.”

REFLECTION

I see so many people are liberated from their depression the moment they begin to look themselves in the eye and reflect on  their character defects. These persons are the ones who are not afraid to make a list of all the persons they have hurt by their isolating depression and by the thought that they are unacceptable to others and to themselves. By working Step Five which states  that “we admitted to God, ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” I am assured by another person’s acceptance of me that I will get through this time of pain and hurt.

Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous had a spiritual awakening on night as he truly was at the lowest point in his life and begged God to help him. God’s love lit up the room for Bill and he was never the same after that. He was a changed man. I need to make restitution to my family, my friends, my spouse and to whomever for my withdrawing from life and hiding from my responsibilities. This is the work that is needed if I am to get free of the shackles of sadness.

MEDITATION

God, shine the light of your wisdom into our hearts so that you might help us find the way out of our depression and get on with living our  lives the way you would have us live them.  Our fears and anxieties are definitely not the way you would want us to live. You have shown us the way out of our misery by bringing us close to those who once were depressed, but now in recovery, are doing better.”

SOURCES: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for all members of 12 Step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous  Publications. Louisville. Page 224/ November 10th.

Now available in the KINDLE format. Check out our STORE for more information as how to order online or snail mail.

Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Dr. Dorothy Rowe, author and Psychologist commends Depressed Anonymous

Dr. Dorothy Rowe, award winning author/Ph.D., psychologist commends the mutual aid group Depressed Anonymous in her Foreword to Depressed Anonymous (2011) 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, the Big Book of its 12 Step program of recovery.

This book offers a framework for setting up and running such a self-help group, which can be adapted to the special needs and circumstances of many different people. It can be used as a blueprint for a group or as a study book for an individual. It offers a set of steps and an inexhaustible source of ideas for meditation and discussion. It shows how we can all experience “the miracle of the group.” Most of all, it shows how we can discover the essential unity of living and accepting ourselves and one another, of being close to others, and experiencing the sense of oneness in all in which we can reside in acceptance and trust”

Foreword to Depressed Anonymous. Page 18.

VISIT THE STORE for more resources on depression and how mutuality can be a healing force for those who desire hope.

Mutual aid as integral part of the 12 Step recovery program

 

The other day I was taking my grandchildren to a children’s amusement center here at home. My oldest grandchild ( 13 years) has an IPhone with a GPS(Global Positioning System) integrated with his phone. So, as we were traveling along on our way to our destination, he points out to me that his GPS indicated we were going the  wrong way. Alas, I turned off the road,  turned the car around and headed in the direction of the children’s amusement center-just as the GPS directed me.

Not too long ago I came in contact with a captivating and insightful work by a Russian author who  described how everything in the natural world, human, animal and  plant life is able to survive because of mutuality among its  species. As many  believe, it is only by the  survival of the fittest that ensures ones survival in the natural world. It is this fact, according to Darwin, which  makes  it possible for its members to survive the struggle between individual members for the means of existence.

Peter  Kropotkin, who was a Russian Prince and an anarchist had these  important words to share about his belief in mutual aid among all species. In the foreword to his work on Mutual Aid the editor tells us how Kropotkin

 drew on his experiences in scientific expeditions in Siberia to illustrate the phenomenon of cooperation. After examining the evidence of cooperation in nonhuman animals, “savages,” “barbarians,” in medieval cities, and in modern times, he concludes that cooperation and mutual aid are as important in the evolution of the species as competition and mutual strife, if more so.

It was in reading this masterful work, Mutual aid: A Factor of Evolution, which was written over a 100 years ago, and all  based on scientific observations in  the real world that Professor Kessler, the  a well known Russian zoologist, in an address  (1880)  to Russian naturalists who is said to have understood the full importance of Mutual Aid as a  law of Nature. The following is part of  that lecture:

I obviously do not deny the struggle for existence, but I maintain that the progressive development of the animal kingdom, and especially of mankind, is favored much more by mutual support than by mutual struggle…All organic beings have two essential needs: that of nutrition, and that of propagating the species. The former brings them to a struggle and to mutual extermination, while the needs of maintaining the species bring them to approach one another and to support one another.  But I am inclined to think that in the evolution of the organic world  — in the progressive modification of organic beings –mutual support among individuals plays a much more important part than their mutual struggle.

I have written all this today just to arouse  the reader’s interest in the power of mutual aid to form viable, supportive   communities–while struggle for survival works against itself and  community formation with self serving individual concerns,  which may lead to more divisiveness and fragmentation in established societies and communities.

In our day,  the “selfies”  mentality mirrors a trend in our societies where the individual now stands like a nomad  in a desert, without  reference points to  past societal traditions which gave value and meaning to one’s life.  Familial breakdown, loss of traditional religious beliefs, migration, poverty and the disappearance of tribal and national customs gradually erase connections between peoples that were formerly in place  providing  support and a sense of security and trust  for the life of the individual and the  community where they lived. 

This leads us to a brief discussion on the importance of the  establishment of mutual aid groups, support groups in our society today.  Mutual aid group members are an integral part of a community where there is fellowship, support and mutuality. When   one member suffers, all members suffer with them and support them. No one suffers alone. No one is an isolated individual who swims alone in today’s  modern cultures of individual competition and struggle.

Amazing as it is, the 12 Steps have brought to us a way out of our isolation and a way into a supportive community and mutuality. Truly, these groups  promote the belief that everyone is equal in the fellowship — mutuality lived out in the real world–and all members of the group come together to serve each other with hope. The mutual aid given to each other in the group provides a dynamic positioning of one’s life so as to  live life with each other with hope and love. One has  a concern for the welfare of all just  as one’s own welfare becomes the concern of all.

Hugh

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SOURCE: Mutual Aid: A factor of evolution. Peter Kropotkin. (1902, 2008) Forgotten Books. Org.

 

For those who never experienced love growing up

“Depressed Anonymous provides a secure base (love and acceptance) for those who never experienced love or support while growing up.”

After ten years of repeated meetings with the depressed of Depressed Anonymous meetings, it’s clear that the meetings create a secure base for those who in their childhood had neither kindness nor the life giving warmth and affection of family life.

People who keep coming back to Depressed Anonynmous continue to grow and become aware of the inner change taking place week after week as they find not only attention to their story, but find that they are loved and cared for at the same time. Possibly for the first time, they find that they look forward to each weekly meeting and become attached to the positive feelings that emerge inside themselves as they continue to share the story of their pain . In time, they share how their week is suddenly being filled with more good days than bad. It also becomes obvious to the participant that childhood behavior and experiences are carried right on into adult life. Trusting is such a hazard for the depressed because every person is different. You can’t trust your environment because it could suddenly shift and you would be without a certainty that you were bad and worthless. The meetings gradually present to you an opportunity to be someone worthwhile and valued. Your sharing and risking information about yourself begins the construction of a new and secure you. The Depressed Anonymous group becomes for possibly the first time in your life, a very secure and stable enviornmment where you can share, trust and grow.

RESOURCE: Depressed Anonynmous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Personal Stories. Pages 139-140.

I realized that I was addicted to the self

“As a person that has suffered depression since childhood, I can say that until you start to open up, share your hurts and feelings, listen to the members of the group, watch them as they grow from the support of the group, you will not be able to get out of the prison of your depression. I have been going to Depressed Anonymous for four years and only until recently have I realized that I was addicted to the self.  Only then did I start to take a good look at myself and start to ask God for his help and truly mean it. I am learning to trust in God  and do His will and not mine. I feel better about myself. I can tell you it is a lot easier to be depressed than it is to work on yourself and admit to yourself that there is a problem. It is God’s will for us to live each day to the fullest because of our time on earth is limited. Live each day, not yesterday or tomorrow. Share with the group and your friends and you will be surprised who will be glad to listen  if you would give them a chance. Accept the fact that all of us at Depressed Anonymous are here to listen to you and not make judgments  on you or give advice. Even if you don’t want to share, come to the meetings because you can always get something out of them. Eventually, you will want to share and the group will listen.

In conclusion, trust in your Higher Power – God as you understand God. Support groups are the  way out of our addictions. We may have given  up on God, but God hasn’t  given up on us. Start your day out by asking God: God I pray for the knowledge of your will and the power to carry it out. ”

-Starr writing about her experience with depression and the healing support that she receives in the Depressed Anonymous 12 Step mutual aid group.

Read Starr’s whole story in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Personal Stories section/Pages 129-130 ).

We need to tell our story

“Newcomers also remind us of ourselves when we stepped into the group for the first time. They struggle to keep back tears and hurt as they speak possibly for the first time trusting that they are with people who have been where they are.  This  is what provides the beginning of hope and healing. People of the group speak their language of hope and possibility. They hear how recovery is possible. They want these tools to use in their own recovery. We need also to air our hurts…and let others hear our story.”

We have less concern about self and gain interest  in others“.  THE SEVENTH PROMISE OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS.

Copyright (c) I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. (2014)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 43.

We Trust Our Newfound Beliefs

THE THIRD WAY TO LEAVE THE PRISON OF DEPRESSION : AN EXCERPT

“We trust others by sharing our recent episodes of loss/sadness while at the same time sharing our hopes and strengths.  We trust our newfound positive beliefs for getting  ourselves out of the prison of depression.

Many of us won’t allow ourselves to trust anyone. We are so distrustful of ourselves that we cannot trust ourselves to feel. The painful hollowness of depression is such that we can’t allow it to be felt.  It is only among our brothers and sisters in the 12 step group that we can share our hurts and deep pain of being isolated. When we hear other members share their stories of hurt and isolation we know that we are not alone. We gradually begin to trust ourselves to touch our own nerves of pain and hurts. We trust the nurturing and accepting atmosphere of the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous to take part of our hurt and help carry us along. Every time we share a hurt from our own past we remove one more brick out of our prison wall of depression. The more we find that our trust is validated by the continual acceptance from the group, the more energy we muster up for ourselves to continue trusting our deepest thought and feelings to others. No longer do we take refuge in the numbed comfort of our isolating sadness. Now we walk upright and begin making choices on how we want to feel, think an believe.  We no longer live our lives in isolation and disconnected from others.  Now we join in the mutual  fray of battling depression with all our new friends on the broad road of healing.”

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SOURCES: Copyright(c) Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 15-16.

Copyright(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE for more literature on the subjects of depression and the 12 steps of recovery.