If you open it, close it.
If you turn it on, turn it off.
If you unblock it, lock it up.
If you break it, admit it.
If you can’t fix it, call in someone who can.
If you borrow it, return it.
If you value it, take care of it.
If you make a mess, clean it up.
If you move it, put it back.
If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.
If you don’t know how to operate it, leave it alone.
If it’s none of your business. don’t ask questions.
-Author unknown
Yes, this statement is so true for any of us who have had to make the hard decision to face ourselves, our addictions and our sadness. Indeed, we all have to pray that we have the courage to face those situations in our lives where we have to admit, finally, that it’s do or die. We live with the conviction that something has to change. And I have found personally that it is when I decide to change, when it is that I admit that I need help, that my courage grows inside of myself and I start to find the resources and the help that I have been looking for and praying to find.
I now live out the Steps of recovery in my personal life and share with others how it does take courage to change. Also, once we take the step to seek help, it is then that our fears of “what if ” no longer decide our fate!
“On awakening, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives. Free of these, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for God gave us brains to use. Our thought life will be on a higher plane when our thinking begins to be cleared of wrong motives. If we have to determine which of two courses to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then we can relax and take it easy, and we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.
We usually conclude our meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, asking especially for freedom from damaging self-will.” Page 243 (As Bill Sees It).
And some more thoughts from our friend Bill W.
“In meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts or prayers of spiritually centered people who understand, so that we may experience and learn. This is the state of being that so often discovers and deepens a conscious contact with God.” Page 108(As Bill Sees It).
Promise #4: We comprehend the word serenity and we know peace of mind.
Agitation, anxiety and jitteriness were all part of my life as I muddled through day after day, one foot in front of the other. Serenity was definitely not a part of my life.
As with any attachment to a negative behavior, serenity and peace was the farthest thing from my life. The new beliefs and thoughts which I heard expressed at Depressed Anonymous meetings started to help me change the way I thought about myself, my world and my future.
I believe that it takes work, time and prayer and quiet periods of meditation to achieve the peace and serenity that we are talking about here.
PEACE OF MIND IS THE RESULT OF:
I am firmly convinced that in order to continue any semblance of peace and serenity I will have to structure a daily quiet period into my life. This is an essential part of the prescription for getting well and staying well. Also, I believe that when I am quiet, God can give to me all that is mine to have. My will and my life have to be attuned to God’s presence and love. We will know that in order for God to make itself present to us and demonstrate its love we have to sit still, be quiet and listen with purity of heart. This is an essential part of the formula where we will find our sobriety and serenity.
It is my belief that God does speak to those who remain quiet and have a design to listen. Peace is defined as “an undisturbed state of mind, absence of mental conflict.” Serenity is defined as “a quality or state of being serene; calmness, tranquility.”
The quality or state of being serene all takes time, work and discipline. I believe that the big book of AA says it best: ” When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new employer; being all powerful he provided what we needed, if we kept close to him and performed his work well.
Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in plans, our little designs and ourselves. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of his presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or hereafter.. We’re reborn.” ( Page 63, AA).
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SOURCE: Copyright(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 36-38. The Promises of Depressed Anonymous.
A member of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship shared this prayer.
“God I give you my life and my will today…to do with me what you see fit. I ask that you use me as your tool and instrument to Bless your children whom you want Blessed. I thank you for finding favor upon me to do your work and will. I am privileged to be chosen.”
Submitted by Debra S / Her 3rd Step prayer
SERENITY PRAYER
“God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things that we can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Today, we “trust God to be God, and let this Power help you, as it has helped millions of other men and women before you.”
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SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 52.
If you really want to begin to “live outside the box“, a description of what the box feels like and looks like might be helpful to you. First of all, a box has an identifiable shape. It is a box mainly because it contains something–whatever that might be. And when we speak of the subject of depression, we talk about depression having us boxed in. The box as it is used here, in this context is a metaphor for feeling enclosed and which there is no exit. It is like being trapped or like in a prison.
Now, in order to live outside the box we want to live creatively, which means that we are having to learn how to live outside the box. Now, if you find this hard to believe -stick with me now as I will explain what I mean.
Just briefly, my own experience with depression can be used as an example. First of all, when I was depressed I thought that I was losing my mind. The box that I put myself in was getting more restricting by the day and making my life hell. I could see no way out. I was trapped. What could I do I asked myself? As hard as I tried, I couldn’t just will these feelings and scary thoughts away–like taking a broom and brushing them out of my life. No matter which way I turned I hit a wall. With no answers forthcoming on how to keep my head above water, my body slowly was being sucked down into the quicksand of despair. The thought came to me, much like that small glimmer, a tiny light so far away, but nevertheless a light. It was like the lighthouse which with its intense brightness warns seafarers that rocks were nearby and to be watchful before approaching. My mind began to race here and there for a way out of the box and then it hit me — get moving. Move the body. Get busy. The key out of this prison was already in my hand. And now, those of us here in the Depressed program of recovery,who have been putting “out of the box” ideas to work in our daily lives, we want to share what has worked for us and we know, if you actually use them for your own recovery, they are bound to ultimately free you. That is the promise I share with you today.
The following activities, listed below are some of the tools that will get you “out of the box” when you get serious about using them.
I think taking a close and personal look at the following tools will not only help you get “out of the box” but can be tools that you will be able to utilize, day after day as you continue your recovery.
NOTE
In the next post, I will begin placing attention on each of the eleven ideas listed above. Gradually we can take time to evaluate our response to each individually and make our own notes as how to use these recommended ideas for our own recovery.
Hugh
For many, just knowing that they might have a choice and be able to choose to feel differently can be a startling revelation. I can choose to be happy or I can choose to stay miserable. ” Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) DAP. Louisville.
The following is a story of how one person, deeply depressed told her story of how by letting go she was able to hang on. And she not only was able to hang on but she was able to help others and hang on and live life to the full.
” I started sleeping more, stayed in bed mostly and let the house and the children go. I felt empty inside. No one or anything could help me. If I hadn’t thought that suicide was the cardinal sin, I would be dead today. So one night I lay on the floor crying and praying from my heart. In the past when I prayed I wanted God to do all the work, while deep down I didn’t want to let go of my miserable, yet safe way of life. And as long as I wouldn’t really let go, God seemed to have no answers for me. This time though, I was at his mercy. Life for me could no longer go on this way. I prayed the most releasing prayer. I offered up my entire self to him. Nothing magical happened after this except the sudden urge to call my Church for Christian counseling. They referred me to this very affordable, warm, lady counselor, who I had seen in the past. She suggested that I start attending Depressed Anonymous, a Twelve Step meeting. This was a great effort for me. I was SCARED AND SKEPTICAL Since that first night I’ve been attending weekly Depressed Anonymous meetings and reading Depressed Anonymous literature. I also attend drug free therapy, attend church and church activities and continue to pray and walk regularly. I know that my life is being richly blessed. I am also using the Depressed Anonymous literature and listening to the people in the Depressed Anonymous meetings where I have received valuable tools which I put to daily use. The moment that I read that I had a choice to stay in depression, I immediately knew that I could make the choice to get out of my depression.”
And finally, a word from Bill W., the cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous who tells us, “When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.”
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Personal Stories section.
NOTE: For more information on a broad variety of subjects dealing with depression and the Twelve Steps click onto the VISIT THE STORE.
On this last Thursday of November, the people of the United States celebrate Thanksgiving. This is a national Holiday which reminds us of the many things we as a people can celebrate.
With a deep gratitude, I am also celebrating the many friends with whom I am in contact this day. I am also going to add my gratitude for all the special gifts I have received by being in a 12 step fellowship of recovery. I am also celebrating my freedom from depression and the fact that my own depression experience has helped me help others to free themselves from the deadly grip of sadness.
The prayer that means so much to me is the Serenity Prayer, which is said at the beginning of all our Depressed Anonymous meetings.
“God grant me he serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
SOURCE: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
THE SERENITY PRAYER
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will,
so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you in the next. Amen.
Reinhold Neihbuhr
“If I were asked what in my opinion was the most important factor in being successful in the program besides following the Twelve Steps, I would say honesty. And the most important person to be honest with is yourself…(Bill W., cofounder of AA )
And now back to our Depressed Anonymous Workbook where we continue to clarify our thinking about the individual Steps and our relationship to them,. We are presently focusing on Step Eleven. (See: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville)
Step Eleven states “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry it out.”
The following are some questions that you may like to ask yourselves as you continue walking on the path to freedom. In question 12. 9 We are asked an answer for the following question: How has your honesty with yourself made your life more free and more fulfilled with hope? Write down the areas of your life where you feel your honesty has paid the richest dividends? How has honesty made your life less needful of pleasing others so that they will like you more?
Your response here.
12.10 How does our own honesty help us carry the message to others still hurting?
Your response here.