Change the view of yourself. Reframe!

 

 

 

It is not the facts about myself that results in higher self-esteem – it’s how I view the facts (how I hink abut them).

Some of the very most accomplished people still have low or poor self esteem.

 

For example

Some pople view Bob Dylan as the grreatest, most talented folk singer of the day, others hear his voice and songs and  think he is unbearable.

Some people love  to hang out at (put your own favorite restaurant here) and others wouldn’t  put a foot in the place.

It isn’t whether we are good or bad, talented or untalented, attractive or unattractive.

Self-worth comes from the view we have of ourselves.

+When I am depressed I have a negative, punishing, self critical view of myself. It’s as if I have on dark glasses and I see everything about myself as ‘dark’ and negative.  But when I am less depressed I see myself much clearer.

I’m not as crititical and judgemental about myself. It’s as if I have on clear, clean glasses.

REFRAMING

Reframing is simply selecting another way of looking at something. It’s a little different from self-defense but  similar.

The following a examples  of how to reframe my negative view of myself to something positive..

1. Stubborn                       can be                                                       determined.

2. Emotional                        can be                                                       passionate, caring.

3. Loner                                   can be                                                        Independent

4. Inconsiderate                may instead be                                       purposeful.

5. In decisive                       could be  considered                             careful.

6. Hyper                                   Is                                                                     energetic.

7. Unpredictable               may be                                                              accommodating

8.. Pushy                                can also be                                                 forceful.

9. Dependent                      may be                                                           cooperative

10. Critical                             my be                                                            discriminating

EXERCISE

  1. Cover the right column. In the left  column CIRCLE all of the negative view words that you apply to yourself. Do that.
  2. Now remove the cover and CIRCLE all of the corresponding words in the right column which are positive non-judgmental views of the same behavior and qualities.
  3. To get used to thinking about yourself in positive terms, read the circled words in the right column out loud and say “I am……” before each of these characteristics.

Part II:

The following is a partial list of additional positive personality characteristics. Circle the ones that apply to you. At the bottom are some blank lines. Add some other good qualities that you can add to the list.

Thoughtful

Courteous

Polite

Helper

Persistent

Forceful

Emotional Diligent

Friendly

Determined

Cheerful

Truthful Adaptable

Gentle

Sensitive

Courageous

Enthusiastic

Hard working

Creative

Compassionate

_________________

_________________

_________________

If you circled less than five of these qualities, select someone from your support group, family member and ask them to help you find others in the  list that apply to you.

III. Pick three positive qualities from the previous lists and write examples of when you showed the quality:

I am _________________________________________________________________________and I showed that when I____________________________________________________________________________.

I am also _____________________________________________________________________and I know that when I ______________________________________________________________________________.

In addition, I am ___________________________________________________ and I showed that when I____________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________..

Source: Doctoral dissertation from Oregon Univ.

NOTE: Tomorrow, more thoughts on  building self-esteem.

 

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