Two days ago, quoting from her piece in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous (pages 111-112) we continue to read what she has to say about being a survivor of depression and not the victim.
Step Three (“Made a decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I unstand God”) required much time, thought, and daily meditation. My Higher Power no longer was a permissive parent whom I begged would give to me what I thought I wanted. All the love, the caring, and the intelligence was there. I just had to accept it for myself. Today, the God of my understanding is different than when I began the journey. As a professional educated woman, spiritually I was in kindergarten. I badgered my counselor for a guide to assist me in taking my Fourth Step inventory. I wrote for months and then quickly moved to Step Five before I could rationalize it all away. The therapist who is responsible for beginning Depressed Anonymous in our area became another human being from our Fifth Step…
During my recovery there were times when I would begin to interfere and I would remind myself of what it was like when I was attempting to run the show. Aloud I would say: “Oh, I turned that one over to you and I trust you. I don’t need to take it back.”
Today I view the situation as “unfolding” and my spiritual journey is unfolding with it. My Higher Power is in charge.”
SOURCES: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. (Personal Stories/Pages 111-112).
The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
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