I am coming to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. I look forward to my meetings because it is there that I am accepted and I feel worthwhile.
“Seeing yourself as basically good reduces the need for other people’s approval… but if you see yourself bad then you need everybody’s approval.”
So often I think of myself as mentally deficient because of the way my sadness keeps me from having a sense of mastery over my life. and withdrawing into my own little world of ruminating about how bad and worthless I am.
Now, thanks to the Twelve Steps, I am seeing that I am not alone in my sadness. I can, in time and with work, get out of this thing that I myself unknowingly have created over time. The more I “carry the message” of hope and how the Twelve Step program works for me the more I am feeling better about myself. By helping others I help myself.
I think I would be less than honest if I said I didn’t need other person’s approval of me. The problem is in never wanting to hurt other people’s feelings. I’m afraid that I might not have said things just the way the other party liked to hear them. I sometimes feel guilty because I have to disagree with a friend and then beat myself up over it for days later. Is something wrong with this picture? I now know that I need my approval of myself first of all. That is most important and above other’s approval of me.
It is one of the immutable truths of the universe that the more we give out in love and hope, the more that love and hope come back to us. What we give can come back to us. If we begin to see how we fooled others into seeing ourselves as less than worthy to be alive, then we give the message to others “kick me.” What goes around comes around.!
(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowship groups. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. February 2nd. Page s 20-21. (Please add your own personal comment).