“I don’t know why I am depressed…”

” Many depressed people will say “I don’t know why I am depressed. It just happened suddenly, like a black cloud coming down.” They say this because they do not want to look at the terrible events which threatened to destroy the way they saw themselves and their world. These events might not seem very significant to other people, but to the person concerned, they are very important. It is not the events in themselves which make them important, frightening, or overwhelming, but the meaning we give to these events.

We live in the world of meaning   which we have created. Indeed, as individuals, we are our world of meaning. This is why, when we discover a serious discrepancy between what we thought reality was and what it actually is, we feel that our very self is being overwhelmed, is shattering, and disappearing.

With this sense that our self is being annihilated comes the greatest fear, the worst fear  we can know. It is greater than  the fear of death. We can face death courageously when we feel that some important part of us – our soul or spirit, or our children, or work, or just the  certainty that people will remember us – will continue on. But when we feel that it will be as if we never existed, then we will feel the utmost terror.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Quoted from the   FOREWORD(c) , Dorothy Rowe. Page 12.   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

COMMENT

So often I hear persons say that they don’t have a clue why they are depressed. “My feelings of sadness just suddenly hit me.”  “My sadness just came out of the blue.”  Feelings as devastating as depression don’t just happen. There is a reason why we feel so isolated and alone.  Do you know that thoughts  over time can produce feelings, which produce moods, moods which ultimately can cause us to behave  in ways that are surprisingly foreign to our normal way of feeling. And if we continue to dwell on shameful, guilt laden and painful feelings,  these have to have repercussions on the way we feel.

Dorothy tells us that our experience of depression is a defense. The defense, depression, gives us a “slow motion” way of living. Our thoughts slow down, our ability to get out of bed and do what needs to be done gradually becomes impossible. A mental paralysis is the “new normal” where we can no longer navigate the simplest matters that once were automatic for our thoughts, feelings and behavior. To put it simply “we are stuck.”

What are your thoughts about all of this? I would love to hear from you.

Hugh

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