Sometimes persons tell us that they get sad for no reason at all. All of a sudden they just feel down and don’t know why. Many times after reflecting upon this sudden rush of sadness, they realize that it has come from somewhere and they might as well take responsibility for it and deal with it. One of the best ways to deal with a feeling, especially the unpleasant ones, is to stay with it, and see what it is trying to say to you. When we run from it we lose. Granted, this won’t be easy and you might not find the source of the sudden sadness at first glance, but in time you can feel it and deal with it and then discard it. The more you ruminate about how sad you are and then how bad you are for feeling so sad, the more you have begun the downward spiral into physically feeling weak and hopeless. This is the time to call a friend or member of the Depressed Anonymous group. Just say: “Hey, I’m feeling sad and here is the reason why I am feeling sad – what do you think?” More times than not, your sad feelings will melt away.
Low moods, if not faced promptly can sometimes spiral into deeper moods, filling us with a sadness that slowly paralyzes our thinking and immobilizes our motivation to perform the most simplest of activities. These low moods carve out a beachhead in our psyche and have their own destructive way with our thoughts and behavior.
In my own case, I would be thinking of nothing in particular when suddenly, like a wave washing over me, I would be drowning in the darkness of these feelings, unaware of their source or able to predict their duration. Seeking relief I would escape to taking to my bed and sleeping.
These feelings, as unpredictable as they are, come from somewhere. Just like the rain, the snow and wind, they all come from somewhere. In truth, there is no mystery here as there source is contained in feelings connected to an event in our recent life and more probably have their origin in an earlier period of our lives.
There is truth that our body remembers situations from the past that we have not consciously thought about in years. It’s much like the deja vu experiences we have while at a certain place or life situation and it feels like we have been there before. We might think that we have been there – done that
A client once shared with me how he always felt sad when the cold winter season rolled around and he would become begin to feel sad and alone. As he told his story of growing up he mentioned how every February his mother would hole up in her bedroom and tell them “I am sick. I am afraid I am going to die.” Resultant from this personal experience of his fear that his mother was dying, every February or around that same time, his body would connect him with the sadness and fear felt when he was a child alone with his own fears, and would repeat in his body the same fears he had felt then. It wasn’t about the cold of winter but it was about those sad feelings coming to life at this particular season of his life. The body might remember everything while the mind and feelings remain submerged and hidden. Like a plant which bloom year after year.
In The Depressed Anonymous Workbook we read how early childhood memories connected to our deepest feelings can resurface as we gain adulthood. Because of a painful and meaningful loss of a loved one that was never discussed or talked about as we grew up, the feelings continue to remain and fester, like a wound that doesn’t heal.
Is there someone who was close to you as a child who died but whom you did not grieve or shed a tear for because you were still too young to say that you missed their love and their presence. All of a sudden they were gone and you got on with your life, but your body remembered that this person was once a meaningful part of your life. This might take some investigative work on your part, but we would well to talk to family and friends and see if there were deaths around the time that you were growing up and which you are now unaware, but might have effected your parents or guardians perceptions of life and so affected you.
To discover more effective ways to handle and deal with our feelings, please consider these two books written and published by members of the Depressed Anonymous Fellowship. Click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more details on ordering online.
These books can be a great source of help in dis-mantling our own depression and providing the tools to get our lives back on track. Please click onto www.depressedanon.com for more detailed information on ways to find the help you are seeking.
- Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, © 2011, Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville KY. Step 10 – Page 90.
- The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, © 2001, Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Louisville, KY. Page 75. Step 10.1