I refuse to beat myself up today



“Basically, I am questioning whether in the experience of depression there is an order of events similar to  the order in a physical illness. For instance, the presence of a measles virus is followed by a symptom of chills, fever, and red macules. In a depression, it is said that there  is a metabolic change  which is followed by the symptoms of a despairing  in mood, guilt, loss of confidence, loss of sexual drive and other symptoms. Could not there be another order of events such as a person sees himself and his worlds in such a way that he finds himself unable to escape from his isolation which itself intensifies his fear? The fear and the isolation, if prolonged, produce metabolic changes, which can, to some extent, be mitigated by physical means.”


Any feeling that I  experience over any length of  time is bound to have some physiological effect upon my body. This holds true whether the feeling or emotion is a pleasant or unpleasant one. Fear and anxiety, guilt and worry are all bound to complicate the way the mind processes attitudes in the inner intricate mechanisms of the human brain  or animal brain. To lose anything that I have taken into myself and made it something precious to myself will be sorely missed when it is lost.  And so any fear of the future can in time make me feel desolate, despondent, and despairing. What mitigates these fears is the distraction of myself from  the all-encompassing feeling of despair,  by believing that with time and work, and with a desire to feel, I can choose to feel better.

I think that as I gradually pull away from my addiction to sadness I begin to feel a shift in the way I perceive the world that I live in. As I begin to live with more hope, my perception is not so colored  by my repetitive negative thoughts that I formerly bashed myself with , but now I have substituted them with new and life-giving positive thoughts.


“God, and I make a majority” is a saying  that has meaning  for many of us.    We know that as we yield our desires, whether it is to get a loved one back or to escape some future tragedy, the Higher Power will, in its own way and in its own time, allow us to get through whatever we need to get through.”

For more information on dealing with depression with  the spiritual principles of recovery click onto VISIT THE STORE(  The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore) and order online.

SOURCES:  Copyright(c) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Pgs. 12-13.

Copyright (c)  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous  Publications. Louisville. Ky.

5 thoughts on “I refuse to beat myself up today”

    1. Thank you Mylinda
      I think saying one positive thing about ourselves each day is a potent way to love ourselves. I remember well, asking the client beginning therapy to write down at least five qualities he /she likes about themselves. For most clients, who were in my office for the first time, were there because of depression. With pen in hand, there was no movement or writing down five qualities which they prized about themselves. In fact, most new clients confessed that they couldn’t think of one thing which they prized about themselves. Sad but so true. The well was dry. In a short time we went from the present , and then to the past. They could list positive characteristic before depression–but now their self-esteem had plummeted.
      So, I totally agree with you Mylinda–start somewhere. Build on the past then, say out loud what you liked about yourself and keep saying it out loud –day after day. Hour after hour.
      Today’s BLOG I mentioned how to restore one’s self-esteem…find what your strengths are and then affirm then in your thoughts. Write down your strengths – -make them second nature. Ask your friends(DA members) what they like about you. In time and with love of yourself you will gradually get your inner vision back and you will see the light.
      Thank you for your good thoughts.

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