I REFUSE TO BEAT MYSELF UP TODAY.
“Basically, I am questioning whether in the experience of depression there is an order of events similar to the order in a physical illness. For instance, the presence of a measles virus is followed by a symptom of chills, fever, and red macules. In a depression, it is said that there is a metabolic change which is followed by the symptoms of a despairing in mood, guilt, loss of confidence, loss of sexual drive and other symptoms. Could not there be another order of events such as a person sees himself and his worlds in such a way that he finds himself unable to escape from his isolation which itself intensifies his fear? The fear and the isolation, if prolonged, produce metabolic changes, which can, to some extent, be mitigated by physical means.”
Any feeling that I experience over any length of time is bound to have some physiological effect upon my body. This holds true whether the feeling or emotion is a pleasant or unpleasant one. Fear and anxiety, guilt and worry are all bound to complicate the way the mind processes attitudes in the inner intricate mechanisms of the human brain or animal brain. To lose anything that I have taken into myself and made it something precious to myself will be sorely missed when it is lost. And so any fear of the future can in time make me feel desolate, despondent, and despairing. What mitigates these fears is the distraction of myself from the all-encompassing feeling of despair, by believing that with time and work, and with a desire to feel, I can choose to feel better.
I think that as I gradually pull away from my addiction to sadness I begin to feel a shift in the way I perceive the world that I live in. As I begin to live with more hope, my perception is not so colored by my repetitive negative thoughts that I formerly bashed myself with , but now I have substituted them with new and life-giving positive thoughts.
“God, and I make a majority” is a saying that has meaning for many of us. We know that as we yield our desires, whether it is to get a loved one back or to escape some future tragedy, the Higher Power will, in its own way and in its own time, allow us to get through whatever we need to get through.”
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SOURCES: Copyright(c) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Pgs. 12-13.
Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.