A Higher Thoughts for Down Days- June 30th.
I am beginning to see that looking closely at my early life does, in fact, help me discover the reasons for some of my sadness today. With time and persistence I am going to live with even more hope and serenity.
“Then, too, damaging emotional conflict persists below the level of consciousness, very deep, sometimes quite forgotten. Therefore, we should try hard to recall and review the past events which originally induced these conflicts and which continue to give our emotions violent twists, thus discoloring our personalities and altering our lives for the worse.” Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, in As Bill Sees It.
It is always a good idea to look at our lives and see how we have changed one way or the other over the years. Sometimes I hope to write down as much as I can remember every year of my life. I will start today and if there is a parent or some significant other that can help explain missing portions of my early life , then this will be a great asset in getting to know myself. The more missing pieces that I can put together, including the oft-repeated phrases told to me as I was young, these can be an immense help in discovering who I am and why I am the way I am today.
I know all about conflict as this is often the genesis of my depression in that I have two conflicting wishes warring with each other. The greatest conflict is in myself and the way I see myself and the way I would like to see myself.
God, help us find our lost memories from childhood. Let them surface gently when they can do the most good for us..
SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowships. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. A Higher Thought for June 30. Page 130.
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