Every day I have one word that travels with me throughout the day. Today that word is Acceptance. We admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable.
Presently, a friend is struggling to find a way to help another friend who needs to be in treatment. The problem is that her friend refuses to accept the fact that she needs help. Her lack of acceptance that she needs help reminds us again that there is nothing that we can do except to “let go” and keep the focus on our own recovery. Let them know there is a Depressed Anonymous group that they could attend which could be of help.
In the meantime, I refer to the support that I receive today in the Depressed Anonymous 12 Step recovery program. I continue to believe that many families and friends want to “fix” whatever is wrong with their depressed loved one. They have no clue of the nature of depression and how immobilizing it is.
My own acceptance of not being able to “fix” someone brings home to me that I am not God. Because I am one of many who believe that they can only “fix” themselves and no one else, this acceptance is the starting point of our recovery. The main thrust of my wanting to produce the 12 Step recovery program of Dep-Anon, for families and friends of the depressed came from my acceptance that I had to “let go” and let God “untangle” something I could not fix. The only thing or person that I could change is myself. That is the power of admitting that I was depressed. This is the message that I want to give to the families and friends of the depressed. They need to gather family members together, keep the focus on themselves, and by putting the Steps into action in their own lives find the peace that they are looking for in their lives.
The following message is for a family who wants to help a depressed family member or friend.
The main idea of Step One is that we are at the point where we finally “get it” that our efforts to change our loved one will always fail. Our main thrust is to be supportive, non-judgmental, and uncritical. We are powerless over them and their behaviors. Our fellowship will now help us understand the nature of depression while giving us the critical and essential tools for taking care of ourselves. We begin to seek the support of other family members through the Dep-Anon fellowship and learn as much as we can about depression.
- (C) Dep-Anon, A 12 Step Recovery Program for families and friends of the depressed. (2021) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 17.
- (C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd EDITION (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.