What do beagles, rabbits and circles have in common? I know you must be curious. Well, first of all, let me tell you that when I was growing up in a small community in Indiana, my Grandpa took my brother and I hunting. We hunted a lot. We mainly hunted squirrels and rabbits. Grandpa also had some great help when hunting the rabbits. He had the assistance of Red and Dukie. They were awesome beagles! When you are out in the wild hunting rabbits it always helps to have your helpers stirring up trouble. That is where the beagles come in. They always made things happen. When you heard the beagles with their high pitch cries you just knew the rabbits had been found out. Here is where the circle come in. Maybe you are aware or maybe you are not aware that when rabbits are running away from danger, they appear to run in a circle. How do I know this? My grandpa told me. So one morning we three, my brother, Grandpa and myself heard Red and Dukie starting their high pitched cries, Suddenly through the opening in the brush, two rabbits whizzed past, right in front of us. Then here come the beagles in hot pursuit right behind them. Grandpa told me to stand on a stump facing the opening. He told us that they might come back this way. The cries of the beagles grew faint — but not for long, as Red and Dukie’s cries started to increase in volume. And then, presto! first one rabbit came through the brush, and then the second, I raised my shotgun, fired a shot at the second rabbit and missed. Those rabbits for some reason made a full circle and there they were again. I missed my chance.
So that was the day when I learned how some animals, who knows maybe all animals tend to run in circles. I do know that when I had gotten lost hunting squirrels and thought I was heading away from where I started I found myself back in the spot at which I started. What is it I thought? Why do we go in circles–does it have to do with a dominant foot always turning us left or right?
Somebody smarter than me will have to help me here with this one.
With my symptoms of depression, I too keep circling trying to figure out in my head why I am depressed. The more I spiral downward in the unending circle of despair, the more I return to those many places I have been before. None of these places gave me comfort or answers to the why I am depressed–only the fact that I have been here before. The mind when burdened appears to run in circles as well. What’s chasing us?
Fear is part of this whirling whirlpool –a veritable wave of the Melancholia that engulfs the person depressed. Fear, gloom and despair are all part of this experience we call melancholia. For some, tragically, it may even end in the self-destruction of suicide.
Below is a poem given to me to share with you from Ryan, my Grandchild. My Ryan is a Rapper (No, rapper is not a “door knocker” per dictionary) but one who loves to put his words into a music genre called RAP – Rhythm and Poetry.
Here is his poem that speaks of fear and its progression, causing the human spirit to spiral around and around into the darkness of the unknown.
Hope is part of the antidote of fear. The fellowship of Depressed Anonymous is likewise the antidote to fear. Again, expression of our fears to another human being is what can pause, even stop the vortex that kills.
THE SUDDEN PAUSE
Where to go now?
I WANT TO SHARE SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT SOME DOMINANT FEELINGS THAT I AM EXPERIENCING TODAY.
OCTOBER 18 Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications (2014) pages 207-208.
Today, I want to write down the dominant feelings and share some thoughts about them with some friend.
“…Whenever we bring something clearly into consciousness and then put it outside ourselves in words or in something we make, we take control of it and thus reduce its power.” (7)
I am finding that letting out feelings and ideas into the open after having stuffed them for a time is like steam being released from a boiler. The more I release my sadness and my feelings of helplessness and despair, the more I am able to feel a bit lighter in mood. When I see in front of me, on black and white, what I have been thinking, I am able to debate the material that has had me crippled for so long. I am able to rattle the skeleton’s cage and not run away.
When I give away my power I give away a part of myself. And to give away part of myself is to lose hope about my life and my purpose e in life. Purpose, self and power all go together. I have, within my grasp, the power to work myself out of my helplessness the more I put my power to work.
God, grant me the power to take hold of the power that comes from you and put it to use in controlling the fear that pushes me deep into my sadness. I now have the hope that God is going to deliver me my power, that I am taking hold of it and using it to hope.