DEPENDING ON OTHERS APPROVAL?

AFFIRMATION

I am getting healthier the more I realize that I don’t have to feel the way I feel and that I have the options to feel content and even smile today if I desire. I will act like I want to smile even though I don’t feel like smiling.

“If you have made yourself a martyr to your unappreciative  family, remember the principle of partial reinforcement and apply it to your family.  If you are always at their beck and call trying to meet their every demand, they will not appreciate you, but once they find that they cannot rely on you to meet their needs, they will appreciate what you do for them.” (7)

REFLECTION

I    know that so  often those who are codependent and live all the time in everyone else’s feelings need to remember that the real maturity and happiness lies in being there for myself—not for everyone else.  I think that this reflection points out  the fact that I need to reinforce my own worth by going to meetings, actively getting involved with my own  recovery and putting the recovery over anything or  anyone else.  If I am going to begin to be  a pleasant person, I will want  to learn how to be pleasant to myself.

Now is the time and this is the program where I start to detach from other people’s opinion’s of myself and start to reflect on my own opinion  When I am depressed, I know that I have not been able to forgive anyone, much less forgive myself. I feel totally cheerless. I meet my own demands and continue to work the  Steps so as to get in touch with what I need to do to reinforce those positive concepts that I am forming about myself. I need to get prepared for a new me today. We are now on a different basis: the basis of trusting and relying upon  God. We trust, infinite God rather than our finite selves. Just to the  extent that we do as we think God would have us do, and so humbly rely on  God, does he enable us to match calamity with serenity.” Bill W.

MEDITATION

When we gradually work our way to the real self we get closer to God who made us.

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SOURCE: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville, KY 40217.

THE GOD BOX or LEARNING TO LET GO.

I remember in my early days of my sobriety the PROMISES (See Past Posts for Depressed Anonymous) were the thing that kept me coming back to the meetings and gave me hope in the power of the 12 steps.
It was then and is still hard for me to turn over my fears and my hopeful thoughts to God. I was told early in my first years to write all these things that troubled me down on a slip of paper and put them in a GOD BOX.
I remember thinking how silly this really was. Well, I continued to go to meetings and do my work within the 12 steps and forgot all about my GOD BOX. Sometimes afterwards — probably going on a year or so later I found this slip of paper buried in a drawer in my desk. Everything that I was concerned about at that time, namely, all my fears, all of my guilt from the past which I had I turned over to God had been worked out. It was amazing to me. I had forgot I had even written them down.
I must admit that I have really worked hard and that God has given me the strength to do the work, to take a look at myself. Now the Promises are a reality for me. I do have a new freedom and a new happiness. I also have new fears, but that’s life.
So now I am going to put these in my GOD BOX. I am letting go and letting God work on those areas of my life that I still need work on so that I can continue to “carry the message” to others still suffering.
Tell me what you think?