“How many times have we heard persons say that ‘my depression is such a comfort to me.’ Many depressed people say that this feeling of worthlessness and hollowness is all they have ever known. In fact, they add, ‘since all I’ve ever known I’m too scared to feel something different.’ It appears that their whole identity is based on how they feel, and so they feel they are bad.” (9)
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
I know that I can recover and feel good about myself. Each new day I can choose to think differently about myself. I believe that, with time and while working my Twelve Step program, I can feel better. I will make a list of how I want to feel and then start to experience these brand new feelings of mine. My spiritual program of letting God run my life is beginning to payoff as I can feel a change in myself occurring.
I am taking out one of the main bars of my prison cell. I am no longer considering myself as someone who is bad, worthless, unacceptable to myself and to others. I am finding myself acceptable to me.
Our feelings of hollowness are greatly diminished after and during a meeting where we hear the hopeful stories of those members of the group who are feeling better because of the Depressed Anonymous program of recovery.
-Copyright(c) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. page 112.
I will affirm myself by getting in touch with my feelings and expressing them.
” To know how to behave you have to rely on other people’s opinions, and so you live under the tyrannies of ‘they.’ What will they think? is the thing that accompanies every action and determines ever decision.”
I am so accustomed to living my life on the basis of others feelings, thoughts, and decisions about myself that in the end I feel de-selfed. I feel empty and horribly alone; I feel saddened over the loss of my identity as a person.
Now, I am hopeful as I see that one of the best ways to defeat my sense of nothingness is to seek out the presence of this force bigger than myself and be willing today –just for today, to let it work its power in my life. My identity as a person is going to grow slowly and spiritually.
When depressed, it’s hard to make up my mind. Just knowing that this is part of my depression makes it less painful as I make a mental decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand him.
Our God is consciousness and is knowledgeable of everything in the universe. Our God is at the center of our lives, replacing the sadness around which our world revolves. The more conscious we are of God working in our minds and thoughts, the more we are going to feel like some one we can love.”
“MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU! Again, we are back to the conviction that the God of my understanding will guide me down the path that best suits me and my recovery. How many times have I reflected upon comments made at Depressed Anonymous meetings by members who speak freely about God’s work in their lives. It is amazing how often the thought pops into my mind how frequently people speak about God’s power operating in their lives. The comments made by members originate in their own “spiritual awakening” resultant of living out the Steps in their own lives. Anyway, it’s heartening for me to know and believe that God will work in one’s life if one trusts this power greater than oneself.
— SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step Fellowship Groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky 402i7. Page 49.
THE PROMISES #6 The feelings of uselessness and self pity disappear.
In the Promises of Depressed Anonymous we see that “One of the major areas in our lives that change quickly by our attendance at the group meetings is that we pity ourselves less and less. We begin to be grateful for all that we have and all that we are. We begin to see that once we start getting connected to others like ourselves on a regular basis, through our Depressed Anonymous meetings, we now are listened to by others and we are validated. We don’t hear “snap out of it” at our meetings. Suddenly our years of self pity, isolation and desolation have been cashed in for a currency that buys us a new competency, a new identity, autonomy and a burgeoning interrelatedness with others. We know we are not alone.
We now can speak about our experience with depression in the past tense. We can now show how we have the tools of self-care whereby we can dig out and begin to construct an edifice of hope that will last the rest of our lives. As long as we continue to use the tools of the program we are bound to feel different as well as think differently.”
SOURCES: Depressed Anonymous (2011) 3rd edition; The Promises of Depressed Anonymous (2002); I’ll Do it when I feel better (.2013) Page 41.