MY LIFE WAS A SINKHOLE!
If you know anything about a sinkhole you know one thing–you know that everything is gobbled up which sits on the sinkhole spot. I mean, houses, cars, buildings, streets, etc. And if you throw anything else down the hole it too gets gobbled up. Just recently, at the Corvette car museum in Bowling Green, Kentucky, a number of their vintage cars ended up at the bottom of a sinkhole–ironically, it occurred in their showroom. There was no way anyone was going to drive these vintage cars out of there.
In our Big Book, Depressed Anonymous as quoted in our recent publication ” I’ll do it when I feel better,” it states that
The overeater, gambler, smoker, sexual addict are all driven by their compulsions. The emptiness of our lives is like a hole that continuously needs to be filled with some compulsive and addictive behavior. By letting go of our excessive tightfisted hold on our life, which paradoxically it causes us to lose hold; we start to face reality for the first time without the crippling crutch of our compulsion. We let go of our compulsion to repeat –the ritual of addictions.
…Gradually over time, and due to being able to say no to the impulse to smoke, or sad oneself, you feel stronger and so the pained withdrawal becomes less intense. The same applies to the addiction of depression in that at first it’s difficult to stop completely the compulsive repeating of sad thoughts, but with time and working our Twelve Steps, and by our active involvement with DA we have the strength to say no to these sad thoughts and begin to choose hope and serenity.”
I use the analogy of a sinkhole because it truly expresses what happened when I was depressing myself. I couldn’t stop these incessant flow of thoughts that continued to gobble up my serenity,my peace and/or the desire to do anything positive for myself. All I could do was to sit in a room, look at the four walls and reflect on how hopeless I felt. As my pain intensified ( like a total body toothache) I found myself getting more isolated from life: meaning family, spouse, friends, groups, you name it.
How did I get out of the sinkhole? The first thing I had to admit was that I was IN A SINKHOLE. If this is where you find yourself today, you might want to go back to the Menu of this Website and read all the stuff there that tells about the” what” of Depressed Anonymous. And if you want to begin your own personal home study program for a further clarification of thought, you can get the Depressed Anonymous Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. I believe you’ll be happy you did. You’ll get some answers. It happens to be written by folks like you and me. That’s the good part.
Source: I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER, (2013) Smith, Hugh. Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville, Ky 40217.(p.60).