I can live each moment as it comes. I can live only in today. Today is all I have.
“Try to work out which is your habitual response to change which you see as dangerous, so that as you dare to explore you don’t suddenly find yourself running away to the safety of old ways, or resisting the new ideas with old prejudices.( 3)
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
I find that when I am depressed I find all the comfort in the predictable and the familiar. Right now, I am in battle for my life and I am going to stay and work things out. My feelings are agitated and make me feel very uncomfortable, but I know that it is only by feeling them and accepting them (not run away) that I will, and can in time, begin to taste the freedom of a new me beginning to be born. I believe that by desiring change, this desire will produce a greater motivation in my self to think and feel differently.
This is an important concept when I am depressed. I desire the safety of the familiar and the predictable.
God, help me to live in the peace and the serenity of the present moment. And let us be aware of the moment when we begin to depress ourselves. Alert us to the moment that we can CHOOSE to turn our minds to something more constructive.
SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days(c). (March 17).
Dr. Rowe in her book WHAT SHOULD I BELIEVE, asked her client Julie this question:
“Suppose you were faced with a situation where you could act only in one of two ways. If you acted one way people would like you, but you wouldn’t respect yourself, and if you acted the way people wouldn’t like you but you would respect yourself. If you were faced with that, which would you choose, respecting yourself or other people liking you?”
Julie answered immediately, “Respecting myself. That’s one of my standards. I realized that at university. One thing about depression, it does make you independent because you don’t care about popularity. You must function without other people anyway, so it doesn’t really matter about other people. I suppose you just live like an observer, observing people, the way they live, and just get a bit cynical. I am very scornful of people who do things just to be popular. I analyze myself and other people constantly, and “honesty and integrity” is the byword. ….” Page 203-204.
Hugh’s comment follows
Julie makes an interesting statement where she says that “depression, it does make you independent.” That statement, like the one in the above paragraph made me stop and reflect on my own experience with depression. Did the experience, painful and immobilizing as it happened to be, did it make me more independent? In some ways I think it did. Like, I was more sure of myself as I learned more about my character and how some areas of my negative thinking and behavior were the cause of the spiraling downward of my person into the dark pit of depression. First of all, I became more aware of my thinking processes and nailed the times that I was beating myself up or not watching the way I ate and the fact of my great need of exercise which I was neglecting. No matter what, I now am embarked on a healthier lifestyle and am convinced that the Twelve Steps continually help me assess my strengths and defects of character. Yes, Julie is right. I am more independent. Now, instead of going about my life in a mindless fashion I am mindful of what prevents me from being in the present moment. I now try to center myself, by my daily prayer and meditation times. All this is critical to my staying sane and serene. What do you think?