Years ago I took a chance. It was December 7th, 1982. I made a decision. I made a decision in my own behalf. I walked into a room where men and women had gathered for a 12 Step meeting of recovery. Truthfully said, I was scared that autumnal evening, as I didn’t know what was to transpire the moment I went through the door. I didn’t know who I was to see and what would be said to me. Would I fit in? This was my first time ever at a 12 step meeting. I came because they said they had what I needed. Hope. I came into the room, said hello, took a seat and waited for the meeting to start. And still today, 34 years later, I still go through the door, sit down and wait for the meeting to start. The only thing that has changed for me is that I have changed. I have hope. I have a plan. I have a plan that I put into effect every day of my life. The plan is simply to surrender my will to the will of a Power greater than myself. Nothing that I have tried before has worked but now this daily plan has exceeded my expectations.
You might say you have tried everything and nothing has ever worked for you. I just knew I was drowning in a sea of guilt, fear and anxiety. The more I touched the nerves of doubt in my mind the deeper the pain became. We all know that the more we ruminate and obsess on our unpleasant feelings the more unpleasant we are to feel. That is what was happening to me. Gradually my body closed down. The physiological result of these continual obsessive thoughts came to rest in a man’s body who felt beaten and diminished.
That’s the way it was. Now, today, I have gratitude for my new perspective on life and thank my Higher Power that I have walked through the door of hope and serenity. It took time and work and a supportive community to get me where I am today. I am not alone. Neither are you alone. Believe. I am following my plan today, 34 years of one day at a time.
What a gift God has lain out for me, for you, and all those who feel beaten and diminished.
Read all the marvelous stories in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville, Kentucky for inspiration and direction.