…it is not until we have lost everything that had cocooned us from the world (which is very different from what we want it to be) and when we have our back to the wall at the bottom of the pit, that we can confront the stark truth of our life and our death…and crying in anguish and anger because the magical parent does not come. Instead at the bottom of the pit, we take charge of our lives. ”
Again I am reminded that I am responsible for my life and the way I live my life. So often I wanted someone to come and tell me that everything would be fine and all that I need to do was for them to tell me that everything would be fine. All I needed to do was wait and then everything would be better for me. This isn’t true. It is only today when I admit that I have become powerless over my depression that I can begin to allow the light into my life. I realize that I can begin the work of reconstruction in my life today.
Fear of our own death can keep us frightened so that we can’t move beyond it. My rigid and absolute beliefs about life and death both have me imprisoned me. Life is terrible and death is worse. Since I have moved beyond my rigid ways of looking at myself, I am beginning to feel more relaxed as I look at the world in a more real fashion.
We know that the God of our understanding is ever present waiting and willing to help us with times life these. The God of our lives will not break down the doors of our resistance to its love , but instead, waits patiently for us to open the door from the inside.”
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Thought for today October 3rd. Pages 199-200.)
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