“…you begin to feel a small bit of serenity growing inside of you.”

“The real risk is when that first inkling comes that because of your active and regular work in the Twelve Step depression group, you begin to feel a small bit of serenity growing inside of you. This is what scares us all. Our guilt, shame, our sadness in life have almost completely shut down our sense of spontaneity and playfulness, so that we are afraid of the new way we are feeling. Our first thought is that it won’t last. That is when we need to face the fear, stay with it, and it will flee. As long as you stay with these unpleasant feelings, keep working on yourself at meetings and telling yourself that you can beat these negative attitudes about yourself, and start to rebuild
your future and your world.
At this time, call a friend and tell them you need help rebuilding instead of allowing your fears to imprison you. You are now using those bricks to build a bridge between you and the other members of the group who want to free themselves from the isolating feelings of sadness and hurt. ”
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COMMENT: As my depression worsened I started to walk 5 miles every day. Walking was one way that I could for a brief time escape thinking about the painful hollowness and meaningless that had gradually taken over my body and mind. It was like I was being sucked down into the darkness of quicksand. And just as I wrote the above account, I remembered so well how I believed the pain would never go away and if it did — when would this happen? But slowly after this continual activity of walking and doing what I had to do to survive, I felt a small glimpse and feeling of lightness. And the first thought that came to mind was that this good feeling wouldn’t last. In reality it was only a brief pause in my pain but I kept on walking. Shortly after that, the lightness and feeling of hope grew stronger and the day finally arrived when the fog, the cloud of hopelessness was gone. I faced my fear. I realized, like all healing, it takes time, work and prayer. Hugh

SOURCE: Copyright(c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.Page 93-94.
For more literature on the subject of depression and the 12 Steps please VISIT THE STORE. ***ALL LITERATURE PUBLISHED BY DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS IS WRITTEN BY THOSE WHO WERE DEPRESSED AND IN RECOVERY AND LIVING WITH HOPE AND SERENITY.

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