Dorothy Rowe in her book Depression: The way out of your prison tells us that friends are wonderful people.
“I always regret that I do not devote more time to my friends –write them longer letters more frequently, visit them more often, invite them here more often — but in my mental map of my world my friends stand like giant statues of themselves. My friends are the people with whom I have a continuous conversation. There may be long gaps between exchanges, since many of them live in Australia or America, but the conversation is never interrupted or concluded.
To turn an acquaintance into a friend you have to give that person time and attention. If you have no friends it is because you are so wrapped up in yourself that you do not give other people your time and attention. One part of not giving time and attention to other people is fearing that if you do they will reject you. The other part is feeling that other people are boring and you have better things to do than talk to them. But if you want to find your way out of the prison of depression, you need friends. ” Pages 201-202.
Sheldon Kopp said, “Who can love me if no one knows me.”
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Really to have friends and to connect authentically with others is to tell our story. To do so initiates a contact with another at a deeper and visceral level. This is the “miracle of the Depressed Anonymous group.” And when we are depressed doesn’t it make sense that we find it less difficult to share with someone like ourselves than to that person who is clueless about what it feels like to be depressed. When we share our stories, we find our stories mirror groups of people who, because of their own sadness and feeling worthless–in other words, being vulnerable, will be the cement that binds us together as friends. We are no longer alone and adrift in this sea of humanity. And as persons get to know me they will in turn be able to love me and know me as a friend. It is a fact that our friendships grow and blossom the longer we stay involved with the fellowship.
Want to have a friend? — then be a friend.
For more information read how friends are made in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2002) Depresed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
Hugh