First I need to forgive myself for not being perfect. I want to accept the fact that I am human and fallible.
” Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Step Nine of Depressed Anonymous
Clarification of thought
When I made up my mind to attend my first Twelve Step meeting that was the beginning of making amends to myself and to others. It was this taking the step and coming to a meeting that I made my statement that I needed help and that I might change the way that I lived my life. I need to lay all my cards on the table and get straight with anyone from my past who I feel that I hurt by my continual withdrawal from living a full life. I need to make amends to those who I passively watched when I would have been a support or a partner. For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.
This really means that I will take an active role in changing my life. Amends doesn’t mean that we just shift the furniture around the room of our life. I might have to rip out the plumbing, knock out a wall, that is, face a major overhaul on the way I look at myself.
Our God will help us locate the truth about whom we need to make amends; that is, how God wishes us to be changed and whom we need to have forgiveness from so that we will be God’s worthy vessels to carry hope to others still suffering from the despair of their sadness.”
Source: (c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step Fellowship groups. Louisville. Page 166.
Other sources of interest:
Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
I’ll do it when I feel better (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
Believing is seeing (2015) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.