Category Archives: Belief

Affirmations, Belief, Choice, Community building, DA Literature, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Hope, I'll Do It When I Feel Better, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

One of the great paradoxes of human life…

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DECISION 12 : “I will learn to share my sadness with others and to share their sadness.” Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds. Understanding depression, Finding Freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Page 271.

“One of the great paradoxes of human life is that, in the way that we are born and die and in between create our own unique world of meaning, we are always atone, yet the only way that we can live with the essential aloneness is to share our life with other people.” Page 271.

Dear Reader, this concludes our journey of how to Leave Loneliness Behind. By making the 12 Decisions our own, and living out these truths as presented to us by Dorothy Rowe, we can leave loneliness behind.
I give total credit to Dr. Rowe, psychologist, for her wisdom, that she shares with us here in BREAKING THE BONDS.
Jill Tweedie. a reviewer, tells us that the writer Dorothy Rowe, is the “light at the end of the tunnel.” If you make that decision to read this work, I know you will agree.

Hugh S.

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12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Belief, Choice, Courage, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Focus, Helpful, Hope, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, The Promises

I will try to improve my understanding of my behavior

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LEAVING LONELINESS BEHIND: 12 DECSIONS

“DECISION 7: I WILL TRY TO IMPROVE MY UNDERSTANDING OF MY BEHAVIOR.”

All actions have consequences. and they are usually different from what we expect.

In a situation where we want our cake and eat it too, we always try to have both, but we learn that in trying to get both, we lose both.

If you are to improve your skills in understanding people, in order to rid your loneliness, working out the consequences OF what you and others do, is extremely important.

You really have to develop more flexible ways in dealing with the consequences when the consequence is anger.”

TOMORROW DECISION 8: I WILL BE MORE ACCEPTING OF OTHER PEOPLES ANGER AND NOT TAKE It PERSONALLY.”

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Acceptance, Avoidance, Belief, Believing Is Seeing, DA Literature, Helpful, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

Seeing another person’s point of view: How important is it?

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DECISION 6: SEEING ANOTHER’S POINT OF VIEW.HOW IMPORTANT IS IT FOR LEAVING MY LONELINESS BEHIND?

By seeing things from another’s point of view has a lot to do with forming healthy relationships and coming closer to feeling part of another’s world. Dorothy Rowe asks “what does it feel like to be a mother. You are surrounded all day long by people only two feet high.” Any Mother can tell you that it is much different than being with a group of adults. Both of these worlds have their own uniqueness, by their very nature, possessing beauty and a diversity of their own. And one way to know someone, is to see life from their perspective. I call it one’s “lived reality.”

When we tell ourselves that we know what others are thinking, feeling, we are only confirming our own point of view. To find out if we are right, is to ask the question, “How are you?”

If we say that others think about us in a certain way, and if we do not check out their thoughts, we can claim that other people see things about ourselves, which will suit our purpose.

If we tell ourselves that we are boring and dull, we can refuse to talk with anyone. By being ruled by these negative thoughts, we don’t have to make the effort to talk to people. We continue to remain lonely. We build our own prisons, ultimately deepening our own lockdown. We create our own isolation. We cause our own loneliness.

TOMORROW’S DECISION 7: “i WILL TRY TO IMPROVE MY UNDERSTANDING OF MY BEHAVIOR.” LEAVING LONELINESS BEHIND. THE 12 DECISIONS.

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Belief, Choice, Courage, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Focus, Higher Power, Hope, Positivity, Purpose, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, Step 04

Detour – Taking a different way home

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Step Four

“MADE A SEARCHING AND FEARLESS MORAL INVENTORY OF OURSELVES.”

“Let’s Just say that you always took path A home from work everyday. You passed the same old signs, the same old buildings, the same old malls–you feel you could almost drive home with your eyes closed. This is of course boring, and also deadening to our thinking processes as we do everything out of habit. The saying is true that we are creatures of habit. But let’s just say, for example, that a detour sign pops up along our old familiar path -we become disoriented – we become confused. We say to ourselves-Where am I? Now where do I go? Good questions.” The inventory will ask questions of you which you may never have asked of yourself.

“But we have figured out that even though my path home is very predicable, it is still a path that is gradually incapacitating my ability to keep a focus on hopeful outcomes.” We need to be awakened out of our routine. The daily grind is putting our mind to sleep.

Let’s take an example taken from the Depressed Anonymous Workbook, which presents us with a metaphor, on how an inventory will become a critical part of our personal recovery. The 4th and 5th Steps in the Depressed Anonymous Workbook, includes questions dealing with our lives, while detailing areas which have been influenced by our everyday feelings of sadness, hopelessness and despair.The inventory questions, prepared in the 4th and 4th Step chapters of the Workbook, (all 12 chapters are in a question and answer format) will provide for us some surprising pieces of positive information about ourselves that will be recovered from examining some of our past life issues. (Don’t forget to share all the good things that you like about yourself.)

We have mentioned how working the 4th Step Recovery Program is like coming home a different route. We will take the detour (inventory) which will help us get back on the right path. That is why, our inventory work, puts us on a different path for living. We are fitted with a new hope. We will quickly learn how doing or not doing what we always used to do, is NOT working.

By using the Depressed Anonymous Workbook, with its 12 Step questions, accompanied with our personal answers, can provide us, with a gradual process of self-understanding, self-awareness, and emotional healing. These positive thoughts and feelings about ourselves, continue to manifest as a direct result from our personal answers to Workbook questions and our hard work on ourselves. We find that we are able to live with hope the more we commit ourselves to our recovery work. Our mind continues to put a “spotlight” on these negative concerns which keep us from a life lived with hope and peace. In time, the fog in our brain will gradually be lifted. We will begin to see ourselves and future in a positive light.

Path B, points us in a different direction from where we were used to going. And for many of us, this is the first time that we are intent upon taking a good and hard look at who we are. Taking an inventory, looking at the negatives as well as all the strengths that are ours, helps us to give a gratitude for all the good areas of our life that are beginning to awaken in us and continue to take root. These awakenings are the new and fresh beliefs about ourselves and our inner world that is gradually being created.

In the 4th Step of recovery, we are ready to “make a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.” The inventory method will help us, as we take take a little time each day, reflecting on how we think about ourselves, while discovering reasons why our “mistaken beliefs” about ourselves, has gotten us to the place where we are today. This motivates us to get into action. We make a decision to change the way we live out our daily lives. We want to be fearless in uncovering any and all rocks, that have blocked our path in the past. We will begin to take action and we will possess a new courage, taking care of business.

We must look the beast in the face. I pray that the “God of your understanding” will lead you to where the light of love shines bright and where the darkness is swallowed by hope and love of self.

Hugh S., for the fellowship

For more information on the Workbook, and other literature which can be helpful, please check out the Webpage (Depressedanon.com) at the DA Literature Store

Copyright(c) Depressed Annoynous Workbook Depressed Anonymous Publications. (2002) Louisvllle, KY. Pages 22-24.

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Belief, Depressed Anonymous, Helpful, Higher Power, Hope, Step 02

Step 2 and Hope

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Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

Hopelessness is common in depression. Many members identify with thoughts like “life is bleak and things will never change,” “I’ve lost the ability to enjoy life – I just endure it,” or “What’s the point anyhow?” Underneath all of these thoughts is the lack of hope. Hope is the principle behind Step 2. So how does a member work Step 2 and regain hope?  Let’s break it down!

Came to believe – This little phrase tells us that we don’t have to have hope when we come in the program. Instead, it is something that we develop over time! When we come to meetings and hear the stories of how others who suffered like us have found a way out of their depression, we start to think “Maybe, just maybe, there is hope for me too!” We don’t need hope to make a beginning.  All we need is to be open to the possibility of hope.

Power greater than ourselves – This program gives us the freedom to identify our own Power greater than ourselves, or our own Higher Power.  We don’t even have to use the word “God.” We can choose a term that suits us, such as Creative Intelligence or Spirit of the Universe. We can use the group as our Higher Power, or God as we understand Him/Her. The main idea here that we agree upon is that there is some Power greater than us in this universe.

Restore us to sanity – One definition of sanity is “soundness of mind.” When I am in the grips of depression, I am not very sound of mind. My thinking is distorted so that I view life through a dark depressive lens. I amplify the negative and don’t see any positive. This distorted view of the world is not rational. Furthermore, I cannot see the irrationality of it when I am in the midst of depression. What I need is some power greater than myself – some force for Good – to help restore me to sanity.

So putting the pieces together, if I am open to the possibility that there might be something out there that can help me get better, then I am on my way!  When I came into the program I listened to the stories of the members of Depressed Anonymous; I heard how they suffered like I did and how they gradually began to experience recovery. I started out with the group as a Power greater than myself that could help restore me to sanity.  Today, my Higher Power is something more. At first, I was skeptical. Later, I slowly opened up to the possibility that maybe this could work for me. Today, I KNOW that there is a Power Greater than myself that restores me to sanity on a daily basis. Today, I know hope is alive and real! I Came, I Came to, and I Came to Believe in Hope.

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Belief, Choice, Faith, Focus, Purpose

The FREEDOM FROM checklist

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NOTE: This article was written and submitted by Robin R., a member of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship of recovery.

Below is a list of Twelve qualities we gain from working the Depressed Anonymous program of recovery, namely the FREEDOM FROM Checklist. So, how many boxes can you circle/check off?

  1. Freedom from the compulsion to sadden myself and circular thought patterns. (See Circle Dance DA blog @ 10/30/2022)
  2. Freedom from insanity and hopelessness
  3. Freedom from the bondage of self and freely giving of your time and yourself to those in need
  4. Freedom from dishonesty, especially with yourself
  5. Freedom from isolation: the “One Mans’ Island” permanent vacation theme
  6. Freedom from running the show and urges of deceptive control
  7. Freedom from excessive self reliance: I don;tr need anyone’s help!
  8. Freedom from blame
  9. Freedom from people or becoming codependent, comparing myself to others.
  10. Freedom from Complacency
  11. Freedom from Loneliness and becoming “involved”
  12. Freedom from the lack of purpose
  13. Freedom from FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
  14. Freedom from FAILURE: Willing to try new ideas or adventure
  15. Freedom from ANGER: (ONE LETTER AWAY FROM DANGER) Surrender to a power and let it go! Remember, 90% of depression is anger turned inward. Again, LET IT GO!!!

And finally, our goal is to have:

Freedom to love, care, accept and appreciate the world around you

Repetitive complaint will attract things for you to complain about. Repeated gratitude will attract things for you to be thankful about. Turn those freedoms into your gratitude!!!
MAKE IT YOUR BEST DAY EVER!

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12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Avoidance, Belief, Choice, Community building, Faith, Fellowship, Focus, Helpful, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Honesty, Hope, Mindfulness, Mutual Aid, Negativity, Pain, Prayer, Step 01, Step 08, Step 09

101: How to eliminate wild weeds (Negative Thinking)

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Eliminating weeds from our gardens or from the Spring beauties who show their marvelous colors every year, makes it our major task to dig the weeds out, cutting down these thriving seeds of destruction. They become a pest when allowed to grow and take over what was hoped to be something beautiful and bountiful. Negative thinking is likewise that noxious weed- It yields no good fruit!
Our strategy, is to knock them out before they can get a root- hold, destroying our hard work and handiwork. Seeing the first sign of the noxious weed (negative thinking) tells us that more are on the way.

This I believe, serves as a metaphor for when a mind has been taken over with negative thinking and accompanied by a sense of hopelessness.
Our mind, if filled with uninvited negative thinking, cycling us down with a feeling of loss and hopelessness, we find it’s time to get into action, take a crack at that first negative thought–before it even gets a chance to sabotage our thinking, our feelings and motivation to change.
When the negative thoughts begins–say STOP–don’t go any further with a debate about that first thought. We refuse to get entangled with this tangent thought, always leading us to places where we don’t want to go. We have been at this point of thinking far too many times. We know now how to dismantle this crippling form of negative thinking. Change the script. You do the managing of what you think about.
First, cut the thought down to size–don’t let it scare you, but tell it “I’m not going to believe this anymore.” Another reccuring negative thought, for example might be, “You are worthless.” When this thought appears, we can replace it with a positive “sunspot.” This “sunspot” can be a positve recent mental image of a past event or a positive affirmation of ouselves. And with your own weed control operation, tell yourself as many good things about yourself as you want. What you can accomlish at this point is to see the weed (thought) for what it is. Cut it down, like a bad weed, and dig it out. Have an affirmation ready at hand, to replace each and every negative thought. Positivty thinking is what you are all about!

AFFIRMATION
“Making direct amends and using a personal inventory continues our progress and helps free us from all the hurts of the past. We know now that we can’t afford to think long about real of imagined hurts, or we will throw ourselves back into saddening ourselves once again.”

REFLECTION
One of the things that is toxic for the depressed peron is negative thinking. This thinking continues to grow, once nurtured by my attention into a large and uncontrolled wild weed, taking all the attention from the good things happening in my life. I know that I can no longer give into that first thought allowing to pound me to the ground. My negative thinking is very much akin to drinking for the alcoholic. Once I give into that first moment of self-bashing, the cycle of depression begins. There can be no second negative thought!
Hurts from my past continue to grow stronger the more I allow them to dominate my thinking and my behavior. Hurts are best eradicated (Seep 4 and Step 5) when I deal with them openly and honestly.

MEDITATION
The spirit hopes in God as we begin today with a prayer and a belief that this day can be a good one, like the days that I have had in the past.”

Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowships. Depressed anonymous Publications.Louisville, Ky. Pages 153-154. (September 17)

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous. Third Edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

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Belief

Missing my sad thoughts

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Some days I miss my sad thoughts, They are addictive. They fill a space in me and meet a requirement of comfort and familiarity. Humans require and seek a level of comfort and familiarity. The depressed human is no different. Sadly, it’s the sad thoughts that provide the deep level of comfort. When I remove the sadness I have to work to replace that big open field of nothingness left. It feels hard. It feels like work. Pressure and effort. I want to fall back into the sad thinking because, I know very well how to form those sad thoughts and how to feel them. How to make use of them. Strangely, they serve a strong purpose. They validate my depression and vice a versa They have lived inside of me for so long that to fill the void of their space feels so hard. It feels like big shoes to fill. I feel pressed, just trying. My mind is having to accept this new training I am putting it through. It doesn’t want to change. It is not welcoming of these new positive thoughts at first. It is a struggle. My mind wrestles back and forth. “I just want to go home to my bed. No, no! You want to keep grocery shopping! No, no! Please, I need to just lie down. I’m leaving this store!! I am so depressed. No, no! You are going to do your task today, because it will make you feel better.”

“The better part of me wins and I refuse to be held captive, a victim to this negative dark thinking that is killing me. So, I continue to do the grocery shopping with an internal mind struggle going on. The whole day seems to continue like this. The back and forth tug-of-war in my mind! It takes time to truly train the mind to accept the incoming positive thoughts. Affirmations are a needed daily medicine for the saddened mind for sure. It takes consistency. I ask myself how bad do I want to feel better? I continue to retrain my mind every single day. Slowly, I miss my sad thoughts less and less. I feel the need for the positive affirmations more and more. This is the process of healing the depressed mind and thus, my feelings. I look forward to a time where I will not miss my sad thoughts and the struggle between the positive and the negative thoughts will not be such a big part of my day.

-Debra NC

“Slowly I need the positive affirmations more and more.”

COPYRIGHT(C) Debra Sanford. A MEDLEY OF DEPRESSION STORIES 2017. First Edition. Printed in the United States coif America. Pages 20-21.

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Belief, Community building, DA Literature, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Higher Power, Mutual Aid, Step 01, Step 06, Step 12

Lois, wanted to get rid of her pain

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“It was December of 1992 that I made that decision. I know that I was powerless over depression and that my life had become unmanageable. I was willing g to do anything that Depressed Anonymous offered. I wanted to get rid of the pain. If Depressed Anonymous had told me that I would get well if I stood on my head three times a day, I would have done it. Daily, I read from the book and consciously worked the Twelve Steps. I worked them one Step at a time, from Step One through Step Twelve. Working the Steps to me meant posting the Step I was working on and consciously pondering it throughout the day.”

Our friend and member of our fellowship, Lois, continues to share with us her story and her experiences as a member of Depressed Anonymous.

“I no longer experience those black, bleak, and hopeless periods. My life is joyful. Then why do I continue to go to Depressed Anonymous meetings five years later? The Twelfth Step of this program “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principle in all of our affairs.” I am so grateful to Depressed Anonymous that I want to be there for those who are still suffering.
The final situation that brought me to my knees and to Depressed Anonymous has not improved. In fact, it appears to be deteriorating. Our book tells us(in the section which discusses Step Six) that many would no longer express themselves if they could be sure there wouldn’t be any more pain. No one can be promised a bed of roses without pain.

Today I view the situation as ‘unfolding’ and my spiritual journey is unfolding with it. My Higher Power is in charge.”

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous (2011) 3RD EDITION. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY Pages 110-111. Personal Stories.

All Depressed Anonymous publications can be ordered online. Check our our Depressed Anonymous Bookstore at Depressedanon.com.

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Acceptance, Belief, Choice, Community building, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Higher Power, Hope, Isolation, Mutual Aid, Prayer, Purpose, Service, The 12 Steps, The Promises

Freedom talks. We listen!

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To attend a 12 step meeting is to hear freedom talk. Freedom has many voices for the many, those who are willing to listen.

It is the nature of this fellowship, the 12 Step group of Depressed Anonymous and other 12 Step programs of recovery, that when attending meetings I hear members share their victories over depression, with accounts of personal struggles, and gradually freeing themselves from the bondage of depression.

In the Promises of Recovery in Depressed Anonymous,
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly They will always materialize if we work for them.
Depressed Anonymous © Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY

Even though, personal freedom from the tight grip of depression doesn’t happen overnight–it does eventually happen. I am now speaking from my own experience. And since we all have different experiences with the 12 Steps, the results are the same. A lightness of mood, a spirited energy comes into our minds, hearts and body. We begin to thrive.

My own freedom was the result of a simple belief, that a Power greater than myself could release me from my prison of depression. I learned that if we wanted to get out of the hole of depression, we needed to stop digging. That made sense to me. In our fellowship, where freedom speaks, that by listening to the stories of others in the group, and others listening to my story, gave me the incentive to keep coming back to the meetings. I found I am now living with a new hope, without old fears, anxieties, crippling my motivation to grow and thrive.

Now, I speak about my freedom from the past, no longer dwelling on old negative compulsions which once defeated me.
Today, and with each new day, I listen to the loving spirit inside of me, operating within my group, and to all those who speak of their life within a loving community, Depressed Anonymous. Will you join us today?

There is a daily DA online International VIRTUAL ZOOM meeting and to find how to get there, please click onto the HOMEPAGE MENU, MEETINGS and you will be linked to the Journeys of Hope online meeting. Hope to see you at a meeting!

Thank you,
for the fellowship.
Hugh S.

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